# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 264
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5261 "2025-08-12T18:48:16Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Couldn’t even manage to throw it all the way to the court. Weak-wristed dildo-flinger isn’t just an insult in this case. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5262 "2025-08-12T18:49:20Z")
Well, yeah, he throws like a boy. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5263 "2025-08-12T19:08:45Z")
To be fair, I have no basis for comparison on how far an average man should be expected to be able to toss a dildo or the proper technique for doing so. I would expect, given the irregular shape, that some practice would be recommended? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5264 "2025-08-12T19:16:58Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > A man and his young niece were hit by what’s described as a “green dildo.” They’re in a real pickle now. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5265 "2025-08-12T19:22:59Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > I would expect, given the irregular shape, that some practice would be recommended? With some shapes, there’s the risk that the dildo comes back at you. Ask any Aussie. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5266 "2025-08-12T19:28:23Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > With some shapes, there’s the risk that the dildo comes back at you. “Take care when throwing the dildorang!” > [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > I would expect, given the irregular shape, that some practice would be recommended? I will confess that I’ve never thrown a dildo before, but I’ve thrown wobbly rubber bones for a dog that I imagine are roughly the same size, shape, and elasticity as a dildo. (Maybe, my dildo experience is lacking so I might be wrong, and I assume there is some variety with penis-shaped sex toys.) You want to hold one end of it and hurl it in a way that makes it spin in the air, that should get a good distance. (_Which_ end? That I really don’t know, as my experience is again lacking here.) ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5267 "2025-08-12T19:30:35Z")
I bow before your superior dildo projection knowledge and will implement the suggestions should I ever be found in the situation ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5268 "2025-08-12T19:31:00Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > I will confess that I’ve never thrown a dildo before I believe that is the default expectation across virtually all demographics. I mean my sincere reaction upon hearing the news of the incidents was along the lines of _ **Who the Hell THINKS of this???** _ ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5269 "2025-08-12T19:33:06Z")
It may be adding insult to injury, but perhaps the expectation is that should one want to attempt such stunts, it behooves to actually rehearse beforehand. Then again, anyone possessing of such perspicacity would not likely contemplate such a course of action to begin with ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5270 "2025-08-12T19:35:59Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > > [@Atamasama](#): > > > > I will confess that I’ve never thrown a dildo before > > I believe that is the default expectation across virtually all demographics. I mean my sincere reaction upon hearing the news of the incidents was along the lines of _ **Who the Hell THINKS of this???** _ - It’s what he had at…hand. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5271 "2025-08-12T19:36:06Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > I bow before your superior dildo projection knowledge and will implement the suggestions should I ever be found in the situation I’m just imagining a person, holding a floppy dildo as danger approaches, and they calm themselves, close their eyes, and then there is a ghostly voiceover from memory… “…You want to hold one end of it and hurl it in a way that makes it spin in the air, that should get a good distance…” Kind of like the ending to Star Wars, except with more sex toy projectiles. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5272 "2025-08-12T19:38:28Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > “…You want to hold one end of it and hurl it in a way that makes it spin in the air, that should get a good distance…” > > Kind of like the ending to Star Wars, except with more sex toy projectiles. Or the cut from the dawn of man to the space age in 2001, except with a dildo. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5273 "2025-08-12T19:43:47Z")
The unspoken additional humiliation is, the kid had to drive to Castle Boutique or whatever, probably ask the seen-it-all clerk “excuse me, where at the green foot long dildos?” And then pay for it from some cute check out girl. “No really, it’s not for me!” “Sure, kid that’s what they all say. What you do is up to you. That’ll be $25.99” ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5274 "2025-08-12T19:45:07Z")
Not necessarily, you can get all the dildos you want from amazon. Ask how I know… 😄 ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5275 "2025-08-12T19:48:51Z")
You can buy virtually ANYTHING legal at Amazon. But I’d rather patronize a dedicated online boutique for these sorts of product. Then again I am sure the folks at Adam&Eve would rather people did not use their wares for this. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5276 "2025-08-12T19:49:08Z")
The throwing technique is different depending on whether you’re going for distance or penetration. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5277 "2025-08-12T19:51:29Z")
Someone should start a thread titled “Questions Never Asked In A Sane World”. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5278 "2025-08-12T19:56:13Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > you can get all the dildos you want from amazon. Now I’m picturing this 18 year old basement dweller using his mom’s Amazon account. “I got the Amazon order, my new book is here, your new version of WoW and…what’s _THIS_?” “Mom! Don’t touch my stuff!” “Yours? You ordered this? Is there something you’d like to tell me, son?” ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5279 "2025-08-12T20:09:28Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > > [@JRDelirious](#): > > > > Couldn’t even manage to throw it all the way to the court. > > Weak-wristed dildo-flinger isn’t just an insult in this case. > [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Not necessarily, you can get all the dildos you want from amazon. Ask how I know… 😄 One ignores the green silicone atlatl listed as **frequently bought together** at one’s own peril ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2025, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/5280 "2025-08-12T20:11:44Z")
> [@abcdefghij](#): > > One ignores the atlatl listed as **frequently bought together** at one’s own peril I believe an atlatl requires a fairly longish spear to have proper leverage, and that would be a pretty big dildo. I bet you could get a jai alai cesta to work. [![](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/TAGBWG/one-caucasian-jai-alai-basque-pelota-cesta-punta-player-man-isolated-on-white-background-silhouette-TAGBWG.jpg) ](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/TAGBWG/one-caucasian-jai-alai-basque-pelota-cesta-punta-player-man-isolated-on-white-background-silhouette-TAGBWG.jpg) Good luck smuggling that into a WNBA game though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=263) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=265)