# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 323
### Author:  [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2026, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6441 "2026-02-04T19:56:27Z")
> [@Pleonast](#):
>
> Some kids just skipped school entirely, or waited until release, to protest.
I’m sure that’s what they’d do in Texas too then.
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### Author:  [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2026, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6442 "2026-02-04T22:42:37Z")
> [@DesertDog](#):
>
> [How Many Five Year Olds Can You Beat Up](https://www.gotoquiz.com/how_many_five_year_olds_can_you_beat_up_1)
I was thinking of the [Family Guy version](https://youtu.be/X3V3RkuYz9A?si=VTQDzHm4B9-Z5F4T).
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### Author:  [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2026, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6443 "2026-02-04T23:34:54Z")
> [@Pleonast](#):
>
> On the last walkout day, the school barred the gates so no one could leave.
Wouldn’t that violate fire regulations?
And what if they actually had a fire?
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### Author:  [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2026, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6444 "2026-02-04T23:37:19Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#):
>
> Wouldn’t that violate fire regulations?
>
> And what if they actually had a fire?
The assorted athletic fields are both safely distant from the buildings and still contained within the perimeter fences.
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### Author:  [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2026, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6445 "2026-02-04T23:47:33Z")
Oh — they didn’t bar the building doors; they barred an outer perimeter fence. I didn’t think of that; my local school doesn’t have that kind of setup.
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### Author:  [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6446 "2026-02-05T00:10:55Z")
Yes. The children and faculty can evacuate to various safe areas depending on the emergency. Earthquake, building fire, wildfire, mudslide, active shooter, active predator all have their plans. (Yes, my children once had a lockdown because of a mountain lion on the hill above the school. Los Angeles is a great place to live. /sarcasm)
Although I don’t know how firefighters or other first responders are supposed to access the school during emergencies. They might have keys for some of the gates that aren’t usually open.
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### Author:  [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6447 "2026-02-05T05:21:39Z")
> [@Pleonast](#):
>
> Although I don’t know how firefighters or other first responders are supposed to access the school during emergencies. They might have keys for some of the gates that aren’t usually open.
Or they use their tools. Most Fire Departments have good tools.
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### Author:  [@Nyvaak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nyvaak)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6448 "2026-02-05T05:55:53Z")
> [@Yllaria](#):
>
> Or they use their tools. Most Fire Departments have good tools.
Yes. I was once stymied by a locked conex that contained training gear I needed. No key found. The Fire Department trainer offered to come out with his “master key.” It was a pair of bolt cutters.
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### Author:  [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6449 "2026-02-05T15:40:01Z")
There’s often a [Knox box](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knox_Box) at the entrance to buildings, with master keys inside.
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### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6450 "2026-02-05T18:28:07Z")
> [@Pleonast](#):
>
> They might have keys for some of the gates that aren’t usually open.
That shiny chrome battering ram sticking out the front of the big red truck with blinky lights is not there for decoration. That’s the universal master gate opener. Works every time.
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### Author:  [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6451 "2026-02-05T18:53:28Z")
> [@Nyvaak](#):
>
> The Fire Department trainer offered to come out with his “master key.” It was a pair of bolt cutters.
I have a set of folding bolt cutters I keep in my car, because every now and then at work someone decides that it’s a good idea to secure their laptop with a cable lock, then they lose the key or forget the combo on the lock. Out comes the IT lockpick. It cuts through one of those cables like cutting construction paper with a pair of scissors.
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### Author:  [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6452 "2026-02-05T18:53:38Z")
On the late _Late Show with David Letterman_ one of his most memorable stunts was a race to open a locked office door. It was a race between a locksmith and a firefighter. The firefighter gave the locksmith a 20 second head start before he tried. With his axe, he had the door open within five seconds. Impressive!
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### Author:  [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6453 "2026-02-05T19:18:46Z")
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZV_RnC-HZE)
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### Author:  [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6454 "2026-02-05T21:12:46Z")
pretty successful nitpick, I’d say —
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### Author:  [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6455 "2026-02-05T21:21:57Z")
Those are some really nice office doors. The fire captain doesn’t like the most buff guy, but he was swinging away and making very little progress.
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### Author:  [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6456 "2026-02-05T21:29:25Z")
That so looked like a set up. No firefighter with a set of irons just hacks away at the door with the axe. With just the Halligan bar the door opens faster than someone with the key.
> A Halligan bar and a flathead axe can be joined (and partially interlocked, head-to-toe) to form what is known as a married set, set of irons or simply the irons.
> [Halligan bar - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halligan_bar)
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### Author:  [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6457 "2026-02-05T21:54:16Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#):
>
> With just the Halligan bar the door opens faster than someone with the key.
The captain says he’s using the most primitive tool, and he could open it in 5 seconds with something else (potentially a Halligan bar).
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### Author:  [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6458 "2026-02-05T22:02:37Z")
It looked like the firefighter switched to the Halligan bar after starting with the axe.
BTW, David Letterman’s show was _great_.
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6459 "2026-02-05T23:47:00Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#):
>
> With just the Halligan bar the door opens faster than someone with the key.
We can even go a step further. There are also tools, similar to a hydraulic or pneumatic piston/cylinder that will force the door jam wider so the bolt clears the frame and the door can be opened with minimal/less damage.
[ ](https://www.fireapparatusmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/1403FA-ToolTech5.jpg)
Of course, this discussion started out being about the FD breaching a gate, which as noted above, if it’s that big of a problem, they can drive through it or use any number of breaching tools on their truck to break the lock or cut the hinges. WRT getting into the school itself, ISTM most school doors have big windows (or ARE big windows) and it would be trivial to break that out and reach in to open it (and just as trivial to replace the glass later).
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### Author:  [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2026, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6460 "2026-02-05T23:55:34Z")
Just cause now I need to watch some door breach pr0n,
This is how fast a steel door, with a better than residential knob set, can be opened with a set of irons,
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnvrHBli06M)
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