# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 341
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6801 "2026-03-28T02:37:12Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > In other words, why don’t some rich people just have a driver on standby? Because they have to keep up appearances, and if they want to drive nobody is going to tell them no. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6802 "2026-03-28T11:50:51Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > In other words, why don’t some rich people just have a driver on standby? Not just rich people. I had a roommate whose sister caught a couple of DUI’s back in the 1980s. He calculated that she could easily pay for taxis for years between the fines, lawyer fees, and insurance premium bumps. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6803 "2026-03-28T12:04:12Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > In other words, why don’t some rich people just have a driver on standby? Some do have chauffeurs. But they’re probably a $100K/year payroll expense all-in. If you’re keeping them on-site, now your home needs servant’s quarters. etc. I have a limo driver I habitually use for special rides, like leaving on a trip where I’d otherwise be leaving my car at the airport or train station for a couple weeks. Turns out to be just about a wash cost-wise. But his response time is like two hours minimum. More normally I reserve my ride with them weeks in advance. Uber is great, until they are not. If you _need_ to get someplace at time X, here’s hoping there’s enough drivers of the right kind willing to take your fare when you need it. For serious fatcats, separating need from want is a weak area. But they’re acutely aware they don’t live any longer than proles do, so the way to live large is to never waste time waiting. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6804 "2026-03-28T13:24:28Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Seems like too many of us regulars have simply turned off all the news. And therefore there’s no source for fresh stupidity except our personal experience. And speaking just for me, I haven’t witnessed anything spectacularly stupid all week. But I’m watching diligently. I work in retail. In a sense I’m paid to deal with Stupid MFers as part of my day job. But it’s mostly mundane stupid, like people going up to a non-functional self-checkout kiosk, festooned with Out of Order signs, waving stuff in front of it, then loudly demanding to know what’s wrong with it and why isn’t it working? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6805 "2026-03-28T14:07:19Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > But it’s mostly mundane stupid, like people going up to a non-functional self-checkout kiosk, festooned with Out of Order signs, waving stuff in front of it, then loudly demanding to know what’s wrong with it and why isn’t it working? - “The IQ sensor is being replaced, it couldn’t read low enough.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6806 "2026-03-28T15:15:29Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > In other words, why don’t some rich people just have a driver on standby? Pretty sure Tiger Woods does always have a driver available. Perhaps several. Also some putters, at least one pitching wedge, and (of course) WOODS. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6807 "2026-03-28T17:31:49Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > But it’s mostly mundane stupid, like people going up to a non-functional self-checkout kiosk, festooned with Out of Order signs, waving stuff in front of it, then loudly demanding to know what’s wrong with it and why isn’t it working? Heh. I went to get some lab work done last week and spent way too long wandering around looking for the lab. It got to the point where I was thinking, ‘they should at least have a sign or something.’ I ended up in radiology and she said, “Are you looking for the lab?” She pointed back to where I’d entered and there was a desk with a massive sign that said LABORATORY CHECK-IN. I can not overstate the size and clarity of this sign. I told her I had no idea how I missed that sign and she said, “It happens all the time. I think we need flashing arrows or something.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6808 "2026-03-28T17:51:36Z")
Flashing arrows would probably make it even more missable, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Mortimus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Mortimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mortimus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6809 "2026-03-28T18:47:19Z")
I’m convinced that the harder you look for something the less likely you’ll see it. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6810 "2026-03-28T18:59:39Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > But it’s mostly mundane stupid, like people going up to a non-functional self-checkout kiosk, festooned with Out of Order signs, waving stuff in front of it, then loudly demanding to know what’s wrong with it and why isn’t it working? Or walking right past the eggs to come up to me and ask me where the eggs are. Or walking past the product they’re looking for multiple times after I told them exactly where it was and pointed at it, to the point of me needing to pick it up and put it in their hand. Or asking me where something is, and after I tell them exactly where to find it, they walk up to another clerk ten feet away and ask them the same question. Or responding “okay” when I ask them how many bags they need. I could go on. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6811 "2026-03-28T19:29:26Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Tiger Woods does always have a driver available. Perhaps several. > > Also some putters, at least one pitching wedge, and (of course) WOODS Given you do have “dad” in your username, this will be excused. 😑 ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6812 "2026-03-28T21:58:37Z")
For @Broomstick, @Smapti _et.al._, I believe I’ve referred to [this strip](https://retailcomics.com/comic/january-1-2006/) before. He’s moved on to other projects, but customer stupidity/entitlement and corporate idiocy are timeless so (IMO) it’s still relevant. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6813 "2026-03-28T23:41:47Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > people going up to a non-functional self-checkout kiosk, festooned with Out of Order signs, waving stuff in front of it, then loudly demanding to know what’s wrong with it and why isn’t it working? On the notalwaysright site there was a story about a grocery undergoing a major renovation. The front entrance being boarded up somebody walked around and came in the back and found the OP to ask - Why it was so dusty - Why everybody was hearing hard hats - Why the few shelves that were left had no stock on them The OP guessed they didn’t have a penny to drop. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2026, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6814 "2026-03-29T00:41:24Z")
When I was first hired, the store I was going to work at wasn’t even open yet, but they were doing employee orientation and training onsite. They had to station security at the door to ward off all the people who kept trying to come in and shop. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2026, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6815 "2026-03-29T00:53:50Z")
At my store we, regularly, have customers that will stand at an empty checkout and get mad when the cashier doesn’t take them ‘next’…by next I mean after the customer they’re currently working on but before they move on to the next person, that was already there and standing in the actual line. We, regularly, have customers that will walk right past the cashier and any other employees and into the backroom to ask a question that they could have asked any of the those people. We also get people showing up a few minutes after closing time and bang on the windows (or call on the phone) trying to get an employee to unlock the door because they ‘only need a few things’. Occasionally, they’ll walk in the back door (which sometimes results in the police being called). Oh, and if you walk into a store that’s closing in 90 seconds don’t say ‘sorry, I just need one thing’ and than grab a shopping cart and start walking up and down the aisles…get what you need, pay and leave, please, we want to go home. And, semi-related, for the love of god, don’t park me in when I’m plowing the snow. Why on earth would you watch me push a bunch of snow into a corner, then park behind me? Even if you didn’t see me moving and thought it was a parked truck, you still parked in such a way that I wouldn’t be able to get out. This goes for parking in our forklift as well. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2026, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6816 "2026-03-29T01:43:28Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Oh, and if you walk into a store that’s closing in 90 seconds don’t say ‘sorry, I just need one thing’ and than grab a shopping cart and start walking up and down the aisles…get what you need, pay and leave, please, we want to go home. I’ve only done this once. I showed up at the Party City about a minute before they closed. I said to the very tired looking lady, “I really do only need one thing, and if you point me to the crepe paper, I’ll be out of your hair even faster.” I then paid in cash. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2026, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6817 "2026-03-29T03:14:10Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Or walking right past the eggs to come up to me and ask me where the eggs are. Heck, I sometimes do that, but when the clerk points it out I laugh sheepishly and say I’m really good at not seeing what’s right in front of me, then thank them. ---
**Author:** ![Capn\_Carl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Capn\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capn_Carl)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2026, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6818 "2026-03-29T04:22:17Z")
I’m sure you know, a forklift is capable of moving cars out of the way, They can also be used to make cars smaller or flatter. Wouldn’t that be fun? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2026, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6819 "2026-03-29T10:14:55Z")
It’s illegal to “park in” another vehicle. At my store we’ll attempt to page you three times. Then we call the police and have them deal with the illegal act, which always involves a tow truck and considerable charges. For some reason we don’t get repeat offenders. We have, occasionally, received notice of lawsuits which are forwarded to the Corporate Legal Department because the sharks and attack dogs need to be fed. So far we haven’t lost a single one. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2026, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6820 "2026-03-29T17:05:28Z")
This is a former prosecutor we’re talking about here. Former. At least there’s that. > **[Ex-DuPage County prosecutor sentenced after threatening state lawmakers, gun...](https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/ex-dupage-county-prosecutor-sentenced-for-threatening-lawmakers-gun-control-groups/3915205/)** > > A former DuPage County prosecutor was sentenced for suggesting online that a bomb could go off at a LGBTQ festival. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=340) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=342)