# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 347
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2026, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6921 "2026-04-15T14:55:27Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Noisy too. - And brief. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2026, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6922 "2026-04-15T22:07:15Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > A weird train movement would be sideways. It always freaks me out when they bunny hop. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6923 "2026-04-16T01:51:24Z")
I did lose a penny the other day… ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6924 "2026-04-16T10:29:56Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > A weird train movement would be sideways. I don’t know how it happened, but there was an incident when a rail car came to a fork in the tracks and its front set of wheel took one side and it’s back set the other, which did result in a brief sort of sideways movement. Of course, the situation did not last long, after which there was a bit of a mess to clean up. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6925 "2026-04-16T11:48:33Z")
I enjoy watching the occasional train wreck YouTube. Rarely does anyone get hurt, and the whole thing unfolds slowly enough to enjoy. If you ignore the dollars and inconvenience, it’s almost cartoon level violence. But there’s a sobering side to watching too many of these. When a bad train crash occurs a bunch of the cars end up derailed and accordioned. The longest cars are about 80 feet. And can end up nearly 90 degrees to the track, so the far end might be as far as 80 feet off the track centerline. I drive over grade crossings every day. One time I parked nearby and got out to pace off how far back you’d need to be waiting at a grade crossing to avoid being crushed if a derailment sent railcars sideways across the crossing area at the worst case angle, sticking out 80 feet from the tracks. Hint: It’s a LOT farther back than where they paint the “stop here for RR crossing” lines. By my WAG about the first 4 cars waiting on either side in any lane would simply be nerfed into oblivion. Derailments are rare, and worst case accordions are rare among those rarities. But when I wait at least daily for a high speed train to pass, it gives me pause to think about maybe sitting a bit farther back if I can. Train wrecks are fun to watch. From the outside. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6926 "2026-04-16T11:55:17Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I don’t know how it happened, but there was an incident when a rail car came to a fork in the tracks and its front set of wheel took one side and it’s back set the other Unfortunately it happens a often enough there’s a term for it: Splitting a switch. The points, as they are called are supposed to be mechanically held firmly against the stock rails. [![](https://www.trains.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/TrackTroublshootingDiagram2-1.png) ](https://www.trains.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/TrackTroublshootingDiagram2-1.png) ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6927 "2026-04-16T14:45:10Z")
[The Master speaks](https://www.straightdope.com/21341767/what-does-do-not-hump-mean-on-the-side-of-railroad-cars) of this: > … The railroad business, I might note, is one of the few fields where a guy without advanced training can still hope to wreak major environmental havoc. An old high school teacher of mine once told me about the time he worked in the steel mills helping switch coal cars. During his first week on the job, he was asked to participate in a risky maneuver known as a “flying switch.” The idea was that the locomotive would head toward a switch pulling a single coal car behind it. At the right moment, somebody would uncouple the car and the locomotive would scoot ahead through the switch onto the main line. Once the locomotive was clear, my high school teacher was supposed to throw the switch so the coal car would roll onto the side track. > > Everything worked great until they got to the part where the teacher was supposed to throw the switch. For reasons that time has mercifully expunged from his memory, he waited to throw the switch until after the coal car’s front set of wheels had headed out toward the main line. The back set, however, was now headed onto the siding. You see the obvious problem this presents. My teacher had the privilege of watching a magnificent slow-motion disaster in the making as the coal car sort of rolled sidesaddle down the line until the tracks got too far apart, whereupon it toppled over and spilled 50 tons of coal all over creation. A great moment in railroading — nearly as funny as the time I almost knocked out the side of a building with an overhead crane. But we’ll get to that story some other day. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6928 "2026-04-16T21:32:08Z")
I was wondering if anyone else would remember that column. This also presents a possible solution to the Trolley Problem. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6929 "2026-04-16T21:38:09Z")
Switch it to both tracks so everyone is killed. Great idea. No morally dubious picking and choosing. Sorta like the old military saying: “Kill 'em all; let god sort 'em out?” 😉 Reminds me of an old cartoon (Bugs Bunny maybe) where the character is bowling. And somehow produces a barbell which they roll down the alley so the 2 spherical weights on the ends are rolling in the gutters connected by the bar. Which bar of course mows down all 10 pins when it gets to the far end of the alley because how could it not? _Strike!_ ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6930 "2026-04-16T21:42:59Z")
That’s a durty bit of cheatin’! Cheating? Why, that identical situation occurred in the New Hebrides Open. Kaduffleblaze versus Fuddle in 19-aught-18. And what about Fradis versus Ginfritter? Hah! Bizbo versus Stoigen in the Casablanca Amateur. Cheating, indeed! The noive! ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6931 "2026-04-16T22:34:48Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > The MRI guy has die. Uh, died. (Not mentioned here, but you’ve probably heard about him.) > > [Man Dies After Being Sucked Into MRI Machine by Necklace - Newsweek](https://www.newsweek.com/mri-machine-death-new-york-2101170) > > He was wearing a 20 lb chain with a large lock. The inevitable has happened. [https://www.wkyc.com/article/news/nation-world/man-sucked-into-mri-machine-lawsuit-new-york-clinic/507-c88bef34-1b7d-4762-9670-455cc3633f22](https://www.wkyc.com/article/news/nation-world/man-sucked-into-mri-machine-lawsuit-new-york-clinic/507-c88bef34-1b7d-4762-9670-455cc3633f22) (The widow is suing) ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6932 "2026-04-16T22:46:52Z")
Of course she’s suing, and I assume she’ll win, if she’s correct that nobody warned her husband it wasn’t safe to enter the MRI room while wearing it. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6933 "2026-04-16T23:13:45Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Switch it to both tracks so everyone is killed. Great idea. No morally dubious picking and choosing. Sorta like the old military saying: “Kill 'em all; let god sort 'em out?” 😉 It depends how far apart the tracks are. If they diverge enough, then having one set of wheels on each track will cause the trolley to derail and both groups will be saved. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2026, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6934 "2026-04-16T23:14:23Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Cheating? Why, that identical situation occurred in the New Hebrides Open. Kaduffleblaze versus Fuddle in 19-aught-18. And what about Fradis versus Ginfritter? Hah! Bizbo versus Stoigen in the Casablanca Amateur. Cheating, indeed! The noive! Ye still canna beat me at the pipes. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2026, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6935 "2026-04-17T00:26:59Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > When a bad train crash occurs a bunch of the cars end up derailed and accordioned. The longest cars are about 80 feet. And can end up nearly 90 degrees to the track, so the far end might be as far as 80 feet off the track centerline. I’m now wondering if I want to measure out the exact distance from my apartment to the train tracks… > [@LSLGuy](#): > > Reminds me of an old cartoon (Bugs Bunny maybe) where the character is bowling. And somehow produces a barbell which they roll down the alley so the 2 spherical weights on the ends are rolling in the gutters connected by the bar. Which bar of course mows down all 10 pins when it gets to the far end of the alley because how could it not? _Strike!_ I think that was Three Stooges. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2026, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6936 "2026-04-17T00:27:08Z")
I much prefer the version where the high speed train is derailed and carnage proceeds for a half-mile down track. As the increasingly demented Chief Inspector Dreyfuss famously shouted: “I want wreckage! Twisted wreckage!” ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2026, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6937 "2026-04-17T00:43:18Z")
The techbros have decided that ChatGPT is going to turn into Skynet and the only solution is to breed the Kwisatz Haderach. > **[Creating baby geniuses to thwart the AI threat? (Yes, really.)](https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/04/gene-editing-optimization-thiel-altman-armstrong-andreessen-ai-iq/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=a743a85d-7afb-4452-a13b-0530132fe614&utm_campaign=Hootsuite)** > > The new wave of Silicon Valley–backed gene-editing startups is straight out of “Brave New World.” ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2026, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6938 "2026-04-17T00:54:23Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I much prefer the version where the high speed train is derailed and carnage proceeds for a half-mile down track. As the increasingly demented Chief Inspector Dreyfuss famously shouted: “I want wreckage! Twisted wreckage!” Shades of [William Crush](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crash_at_Crush). ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2026, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6939 "2026-04-17T01:22:20Z")
That was my thought, too. If he’s a stupid MFer, that’s a pretty low bar. “Sir, can you come in and assist your wife off the table?” “Sure!” ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2026, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/6940 "2026-04-17T02:30:26Z")
Wait, is this Cafe Society, and you all are talking about those **Final Destination** films? I remember the MRI incident in one of the movies, but did the sideways train make an appearance in any of the movies? If not, it probably will soon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=346) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=348)