# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 357
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7121 "2026-05-04T22:25:36Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Who’s this “we”? I can’t say that humans, as a species, are conscious. At best, I can say that one specific human as conscious. I don’t know about all you zombies. > > The only way I can judge other humans is by the responses I see from them. If chatbots can give the same responses that humans do, then I ought to come to the same conclusion about chatbots that I do about humans. Personally, I know two things: I’m conscious, and I’m human. Whether or not other humans are conscious depends on whether there is any conceivable reason why I should be considered different from other humans. There isn’t, so I can only come to the conclusion that all humans are conscious, because all humans are essentially like me. In other words, stop acting like you’re better than the rest of us. You’re nothing special, and neither am I. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7122 "2026-05-04T22:26:33Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > In fact, the third item on your list doesn’t give any responses, because it doesn’t and can’t exist. A room with a slot in the wall and a computer running Google Translate on the other side “can’t exist”? ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7123 "2026-05-04T22:33:53Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Personally, I know two things: I’m conscious, and I’m human. I’m not sure that I _know_ I’m conscious, rather than merely _believing_ I’m conscious. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7124 "2026-05-04T22:34:20Z")
Potato, potato. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7125 "2026-05-04T23:03:30Z")
That can exist, and has nothing whatsoever in common with the “Chinese Room” thought experiment. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7126 "2026-05-04T23:06:38Z")
…that’s a literao description of the setup. > **[Chinese room](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_room)** > > The Chinese room argument holds that a computer executing a program cannot have a mind, understanding, or consciousness,\[a\] regardless of how intelligently or human-like the program may make the computer behave. The argument was presented in a 1980 paper by the American philosopher John Searle, entitled "Minds, Brains, and Programs" and published in the journal Behavioral and Brain Sciences. Similar arguments had been made previously by others, including Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz, Peter Winch,... > Suppose that artificial intelligence research has succeeded in programming a computer to behave as if it understands [Chinese](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_language). The machine accepts [Chinese characters](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_characters) as input, carries out each instruction of the program step by step, and then produces Chinese characters as output. The machine does this so perfectly that no one can tell that they are communicating with a machine and not a hidden Chinese speaker.[[6]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_room#cite_note-FOOTNOTESearle198011-9) > > The questions at issue are these: does the machine actually _understand_ the conversation, or is it just _simulating_ the ability to understand the conversation? Does the machine have a mind in exactly the same sense that people do, or is it just acting _as if_ it had a mind?[[6]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_room#cite_note-FOOTNOTESearle198011-9) > > Now suppose that Searle is in a room with an English version of the program, along with sufficient pencils, paper, erasers and filing cabinets. Chinese characters are slipped in under the door, and he follows the program step-by-step, which eventually instructs him to slide other Chinese characters back out under the door. If the computer had passed the [Turing test](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test) this way, it follows that Searle would do so as well, simply by running the program by hand.[[6]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_room#cite_note-FOOTNOTESearle198011-9) Please identify the part of this setup that “can’t exist”. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7127 "2026-05-04T23:23:57Z")
What do you think the copy of Google Translate is translating into, and what do you think it’s doing with those translations? ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7128 "2026-05-04T23:36:56Z")
Producing a simulacrum of natural Chinese based on the input given by the experimenter. But that’s beside the point, which is that LLMs are not conscious, no matter how much an 85-year-old transphobe thinks the flattery machine has a crush on him. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7129 "2026-05-04T23:37:46Z")
Google Translate doesn’t do that. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7130 "2026-05-04T23:39:22Z")
Well, I guess that proves a Chinese room can’t exist then. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2026, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7131 "2026-05-04T23:55:02Z")
No, the reason that the Chinese room can’t exist is because a human brain can’t memorize a program of sufficient complexity to completely mimic a human brain. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2026, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7132 "2026-05-05T00:09:55Z")
…which isn’t a condition of the experiment. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2026, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7133 "2026-05-05T09:03:06Z")
GameStop, I.e. the video game store you haven’t been to for 15 years because nobody buys physical copies of video games from retail stores anymore, wants to buy eBay for $56 billion (which they don’t have) so they can use their brick-and-mortar video game stores for grading Pokemon cards or something like that, because nothing is real anymore and all of capitalism is just gambling with extra steps. > **[GameStop Wants To Buy, Uh, eBay? \[Update\]](https://aftermath.site/gamestop-ebay-purchase-deal-offer-stocks/)** > > One man's quest to become a billionaire, no matter the cost > **[GameStop offers $56 billion for eBay, struggles to explain how it'll pay for it](https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2026/05/gamestop-offers-56-billion-for-ebay-struggles-to-explain-how-itll-pay-for-it/)** > > Amid falling revenue and store closures, GameStop wants to buy the much larger eBay. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2026, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7134 "2026-05-05T12:25:37Z")
Sounds like time for another memestock rally. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2026, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7135 "2026-05-05T12:28:12Z")
During the dotcom boom of the early 2000s, eBay seemed to be among the biggest and most successful companies and yet now it’s the subject of a takeover attempt by a much smaller one. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2026, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7136 "2026-05-05T13:11:57Z")
I guess that story is actually saying Reddit’s stable investment geniuses will buy eBay. This will end well. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2026, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7137 "2026-05-05T13:12:52Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > “so that people could concentrate on listening.” This was totally my problem, I’m not listening while I take shitty notes. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2026, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7138 "2026-05-05T13:53:43Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > GameStop, I.e. the video game store you haven’t been to for 15 years because nobody buys physical copies of video games from retail stores anymore, wants to buy eBay for $56 billion (which they don’t have) I happened to watch the interview yesterday morning with CEO Ryan Cohen on Squawk Box. Andrew Ross Sorkin conducted the interview and flat-out asked him where the money is coming from. Cohen refused to give a direct answer, instead telling them to go to the website for details, and then telling Sorkin that he didn’t understand the question. I didn’t rush out and buy GameStop stock. eBay’s stock jumped to a 52-week high at one point during the day. > **[GameStop stock sinks after surprise eBay takeover bid, Cohen's combative CNBC...](https://www.cnbc.com/2026/05/04/gamestop-ebay-takeover-bid-ryan-cohen-gaming-retail-ecommerce.html)** > > GameStop made a takeover bid for eBay, offering $125 per share in a cash-and-stock deal that values the e-commerce platform at roughly $55.5 billion. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2026, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7139 "2026-05-05T14:08:03Z")
> [@Railer13](#): > > and flat-out asked him where the money is coming from. It’s amazing what a great takeover currency your own wildly inflated stock can be. Now they just need to trigger another round of getting wildly inflated. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2026, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/7140 "2026-05-06T14:40:05Z")
A guy from Chicago who moved overseas for a new job called his bank back home to update the address and telephone number on file. He identified himself by name and answered the security questions correctly but was then told by the telephone representative that he would need to visit a branch in person to complete the change. He told her, “Well, I’m not going to be able to do that. I gave you all the security questions.” That didn’t help, so he tried something else, “Would it matter to you if I told you I’m Pope Leo?” She hung up on him. Eventually a priest who knew the bank president was able to assist. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=356) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=358)