# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 443
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2026, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8841 "2026-10-10T22:33:22Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > … and the “Manage Your Information Page”, but nothing stored by amazon was displayed there, I only could have entered my preferences like shoe and dress sizes, literary and musical genres etc. … That’s the _almost_ right page. At least in the USA, if you scroll down close to the bottom there’s another not very obvious section labeled “about me” w a one sentence explanation. Click or expand and click that to go to the actual “about me” page we’re discussing. If it’s not there, that’s probably due to EU regulations. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2026, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8842 "2026-10-10T22:38:50Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > If it’s not there, that’s probably due to EU regulations. Yeah, there’s no such “About Me” button at the German preferences page, so I think it must be a regional difference. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8843 "2026-10-11T07:23:19Z")
Nothing too shocking on my Amazon page. They have surmised that I have a cat, enjoy cooking, prefer streaming entertainment to physical media, own a desktop computer, know what brands I tend to buy for work apparel and undergarments, live alone, and “observe Jewish religious practices”. At least they didn’t tell me I have no ass. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8844 "2026-10-11T12:31:28Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Amazon’s “For You” page, which uses your purchase history to build a demographic profile of you, told one user she had “flat buttocks”. I found that profile interesting, but not surprising. - Knows where I live (actually says “likely” because I use a PO Box a lot) because that’s where most of what I buy is sent. Given I do have them ship me stuff a few times a year I do want them to have some idea where I am located. - Knows I am owned by a bird - Knows my tea preferences - which isn’t surprising since I order most of my tea in bulk. - Lists a “preferred brand” under computer products which isn’t surprising given the number of such products I’ve bought from them over the years - Guessed the brand of one my vehicles which isn’t surprising given I’d purchased some minor bits to make minor repairs on it. Sort of wonder why they only have the Honda listed and not the Toyota or Ford I’ve also owned in recent years but whatever. They clearly don’t know _everything._ - Knows I engage in sewing and other fiber crafts which, again, is not surprising because over the years I’ve purchased supplies from them - Figured out my household is likely one adult female probably from clothing purchases - Figured out the camping interest because of the purchase of some camping stuff There’s a few other things but it’s all clearly from what I’ve purchased from Amazon over the years. It’s no more (or less) creepy or bizarre than what my employer (big box store) tracks and actually the “assumptions” are better. I really don’t have an issue with what they have on me, and like that there is now a mechanism for tweaking it manually. Could such tracking become creepy? Sure. It’s yet another thing to keep an eye on these days. _::: makes note to order more eyes :::_ Also nice that that they give you the option to enter clothing sizes, preferences for your pet(s), and some other things _if you want to do so._ If you don’t want to you don’t have to. I’m not seeing a cause for outrage here, unless you would get upset someone you buy from is keeping notes on you. I’ve got news for those people - keeping a profile on customers is nothing new, it predates the modern era by centuries. Old style it would be hand-written notes. Heck, there are probably examples of that sort of thing on clay tablets in cuneiform wedge writing. Reminds of the guy at work trying to buy alcohol who didn’t want to show us his ID for the age requirement thing because he didn’t want the store giving his information to the government. Um… _it’s a government issued ID, the government already has that information._ ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8845 "2026-10-11T12:52:43Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > ::: makes note to order more eyes ::: User is likely Argus Panoptes. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8846 "2026-10-11T13:03:27Z")
Nevermind ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8847 "2026-10-11T14:15:19Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > - Knows I am owned by a bird Sheesh hopefully not one of those obstreperous cockatoos. Like Buster. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8848 "2026-10-11T14:24:07Z")
Our Amazon profile is reasonably accurate and benign, although it does think we have a school-age kid (likely because my wife buys school supplies for her classroom) and that we’re into pro wrestling (because our nephew is, and we’ve bought him presents). Other than that the only oddish thing is that it has decided that we are exclusively interested in Schlage for door security hardware, based on the one time we bought Schlage for door security hardware. I guess we order cat stuff pretty exclusively from Chewy, because Amazon doesn’t seem to know we have cats. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8849 "2026-10-11T15:03:20Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > [https://metro.co.uk/2026/10/07/woman-posed-substitute-teacher-insult-students-hates-kids-29688310/](https://metro.co.uk/2026/10/07/woman-posed-substitute-teacher-insult-students-hates-kids-29688310/) > > I’m sorry - having raised three young men through their High School careers, I find this hilarious. Update on this. She stole a car (in Wisconsin) and was arrested in Illinois. > **[Woman accused of posing as MPS substitute teacher arrested in Brookfield...](https://www.fox6now.com/news/brookfield-vehicle-theft-suspect-alleged-imposter-mps-substitute)** > > The 23-year-old appeared in court Tuesday and was released on a $5,000 signature bond. She was taken into custody in Illinois days later. > Court filings said Jones told police she snuck in with students on the morning of Sept. 24, went through security and walked around the school. Jones then went to the office – where she overheard staff talking about a substitute teaching company – said she was a substitute teacher with that company and signed the substitute teacher sign-in sheet. > Court filings said students told investigators Jones used profane and lewd language, racial slurs, made sexual comments to students – and also organized students by race and gender. Students also said Jones started playing rap music very loud and “dissed” kids for their weight, race, looks and money. She also asked if any students had a vape or marijuana because the class was “so f—ing lame and annoying.” She managed to “teach” two classes before other teachers got wind of it and pulled her out. This district is placing the blame on the school office, which sounds like it’s probably the right people to blame. Her lawyer is saying it’s a mental health issue and she was off her meds, which, at least to me, sounds pretty plausible. > Michael Cerniglia, Jones’ defense attorney, said during bond arguments that Jones “manages bipolar disorder and was experiencing an acute, manic episode caused by delayed home prescription delivery, and was off her meds during the time these allegations allegedly took place.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8850 "2026-10-11T15:58:26Z")
The thing is, it really isn’t very hard to become an actual substitute teacher. Here in Ohio, the only hard requirement is a bachelor’s degree, and I don’t think they look too closely at anything else. If you’re really incompetent, you might not stay a substitute teacher for very long (districts can take individual subs off of their lists), but you could legitimately get in a few days, especially if you work multiple districts. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8851 "2026-10-11T16:24:22Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Reminds of the guy at work trying to buy alcohol who didn’t want to show us his ID for the age requirement thing because he didn’t want the store giving his information to the government. Um… _it’s a government issued ID, the government already has that information._ I totally see your point. But perhaps what he meant was “I want to buy booze anonymously. I don’t want my booze purchases reported to the government _under my name_. Yes, the government knows all about my DL. But they don’t know I’m here buying this bottle of booze now until you tell them you sold this bottle and also tell then whose DL it was bought under.” Now the idea that the “government” is tracking booze purchases by individuals is kinda nutty. Unless perhaps it’s a condition of his parole not to drink. Or a condition of him keeping his license after a DUI or three. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8852 "2026-10-11T21:20:02Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Now the idea that the “government” is tracking booze purchases by individuals is kinda nutty. Unless perhaps it’s a condition of his parole not to drink. Or a condition of him keeping his license after a DUI or three. None of my business. (Well… don’t want drunks driving, but I think you know what I mean here) Also, as part of another job I do around the store I have access to the raw data from the registers. Our registers really do keep ONLY date of birth and that it was checked. I just find it weird this guy was so very worried about that. I contrast it with the two young gents from Saudi Arabia who, their first couple of weeks purchasing items from the store, bought only bacon, ham, other pork products, and copious amounts of both vodka and Jack Daniels. I knew they were Saudi because they used their passports for the age check. I mean, if anyone is going to be concerned about a government checking up on them you’d think it would be Saudis but, again, not my business. After the newness of forbidden “fruit” wore off their diets started conforming to something a bit more conventional. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8853 "2026-10-11T21:46:18Z")
I wasn’t suggesting it was your business as cashier. But you are the input point for whatever bureaucratic reporting systems the government mandates and your employer complies with. You know it’s DOB only, and I fully believe you. Evidently that guy had a different opinion. It _is_ conceivable that a sufficiently nanny state, or an “all surveillance all the time” state would track such things. Today it’s paranoid fantasy. In a few years? ---
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8854 "2026-10-11T21:55:10Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Here in Ohio, the only hard requirement is a bachelor’s degree, and I don’t think they look too closely at anything else. They must do a background check, no? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8855 "2026-10-11T22:16:53Z")
Oh, right, that too. I’m not sure precisely what level of background malfeasance is disqualifying. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2026, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8856 "2026-10-11T23:19:21Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I mean, if anyone is going to be concerned about a government checking up on them you’d think it would be Saudis but, again, not my business. After the newness of forbidden “fruit” wore off their diets started conforming to something a bit more conventional. They were probably seeing it as an opportunity to finally be out from under the gaze of their government. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2026, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8857 "2026-10-12T00:16:46Z")
Sam’s Club uses AI to generate product photos for its website, winds up turning Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies into tacos. > **[Beth Cato (@bethcato.bsky.social)](https://bsky.app/profile/bethcato.bsky.social/post/3mxmrj5o6ok2r)** > > The annoying: Sam’s Club is apparently using AI to create official product pics. > > The horror: AI made Little Debbie Oatmeal Crème Pies into tacos. 😱 > > (Hat tip to Reddit. Verified in Sam’s app. This is image 9 of product.) [![](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cern5jawmb4qln6tjhkhwwvv/bafkreid7eq7gr2gujkpznikpjssvbc4my55yvevaoysfcpvr3ofh25aj2e) ](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cern5jawmb4qln6tjhkhwwvv/bafkreid7eq7gr2gujkpznikpjssvbc4my55yvevaoysfcpvr3ofh25aj2e) ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2026, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8858 "2026-10-12T00:36:23Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I’m not seeing a cause for outrage here, unless you would get upset someone you buy from is keeping notes on you. The specific outrage was it telling the user mentioned in the article that she had “flat buttocks”. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2026, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8859 "2026-10-12T00:38:19Z")
That reminds me of GLaDOS’s recipe for cake. I hadn’t realized that Valve was that prescient. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2026, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/8860 "2026-10-12T00:43:54Z")
As of now it’s still live on the Sam’s Club website, though you’ll need to scroll down the gallery on the left to find it. > **[Let us know you're not a robot - Sam's Club](https://www.samsclub.com/ip/little-debbie-club-pack-oatmeal-creme-pies-1-3-oz-48-pk/13890813407)** (And who the hell puts cherry tomatoes on tacos anyway?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=442) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=444)