# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 52
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2024, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1021 "2024-04-29T23:18:07Z")
Plain ol’ gator baptism is safer than leaving the kids with a priest. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1022 "2024-04-30T00:07:13Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > claimed that it was OK to baptize a baby in Gatorade. Is one flavor better than the other? Does the sugar-free stuff count? Do electrolytes carry the Holy Spirit? Someone should ask it about Brawndo, the Sin Mutilator. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1023 "2024-04-30T00:48:33Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > Is one flavor better than the other? Does the sugar-free stuff count? Do electrolytes carry the Holy Spirit? Just so long as you don’t use Powerade like the Orthodox do. And the less said about the Lutherans and their use of Vitamin Water, the better. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1024 "2024-04-30T01:04:33Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > Plain ol’ gator baptism is safer than leaving the kids with a priest. Is that when you get a bunch of UofF athletes in a circle around the baby and they – no, I cannot finish. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1025 "2024-04-30T01:22:02Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > and claimed that it was OK to baptize a baby in Gatorade. Actually… Baptism just requires water. It’s nowhere specified that it must be pure water. And Gatorade is probably purer than some solutions that nonetheless still get called “water”, such as what’s in the oceans. So, you probably could baptize someone in Gatorade. You shouldn’t, of course, under normal circumstances. But in extreme situations, it can be acceptable to set aside some of the "should"s. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1026 "2024-04-30T01:31:08Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > But in extreme situations [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/dsy1qvAP8Qk/maxresdefault.jpg "The Simpsons Flanders emergency baptize kit") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsy1qvAP8Qk) ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1027 "2024-04-30T06:04:49Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > > [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > > > Plain ol’ gator baptism is safer than leaving the kids with a priest. > > Is that when you get a bunch of UofF athletes in a circle around the baby and they – no, I cannot finish. Then you’re obviously not qualified for this event! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1028 "2024-04-30T11:20:31Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Baptism just requires water. It’s nowhere specified that it must be pure water. And Gatorade is probably purer than some solutions that nonetheless still get called “water”, such as what’s in the oceans. So, you probably could baptize someone in Gatorade. > > You shouldn’t, of course, under normal circumstances. Right. It gets the baby all sticky. And green. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1029 "2024-04-30T13:07:10Z")
Some days, you just wanna kick a bison. I’m going to start saying that and make it a thing. > **[Man injured after kicking bison in the leg while under influence of alcohol...](https://abcnews.go.com/US/man-injured-after-kicking-bison-leg-influence-alcohol/story?id=109776472)** > > A 40-year-old who allegedly kicked a bison in the leg while under the influence of alcohol at Yellowstone National Park, was injured by the animal and arrested. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1030 "2024-04-30T13:33:13Z")
Love the fact that the bison had the authority to arrest him. “The Right To Arm Bears”… and deputize other wildlife. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1031 "2024-04-30T13:44:07Z")
If the bison was under the influence of alcohol he had a right to defend himself. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1032 "2024-04-30T14:35:52Z")
This is a couple weeks old but just came to my attention. > **[Former GOP congressman crashes into Florida highway patrol vehicle in alleged...](https://www.yahoo.com/news/former-gop-congressman-crashes-florida-232147583.html)** > > Former U.S. Congressman Madison Cawthorn was allegedly involved in a car accident with a Florida state trooper on Monday, April 15, 2024, according to a witness who identified him. He’s also mostly evil, but that’s a different thread. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1033 "2024-04-30T15:56:15Z")
Guess what that guy said to his kid as the cops led him away? “Bye, son.” ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1034 "2024-04-30T17:56:03Z")
And as he was led away, past the robust succulent growth, he remarked to his daughter, “Look at the buff aloe, Vera.” ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1035 "2024-04-30T19:40:48Z")
This is on a local Facebook page so I screencapped it. Guy out on bond for burglaries burgals again, is tracked down by the ankle monitor he is still wearing. Not Florida. [![](https://i.postimg.cc/Fzw9hjVR/Screenshot-20240430-153607.jpg) ](https://i.postimg.cc/Fzw9hjVR/Screenshot-20240430-153607.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1036 "2024-04-30T19:44:49Z")
I love that the cops changed the tire. ---
**Author:** ![Deanna\_D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e495f1/32.png) [@Deanna\_D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deanna_D)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1037 "2024-05-01T00:08:36Z")
I’m so proud he’s from my state! 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1038 "2024-05-01T00:24:08Z")
Though that sheriff’s office is populated by idiots; that article/post describes the stolen car as a “Honda Sport.” Sport is almost certainly the _trim level_ of the Accord/Civic/HR-V/CR-V/Passport/etc vehicle that was stolen. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1039 "2024-05-01T01:27:32Z")
About 20 years ago I was hiking out to a campsite on Catalina Island and tried to briefly go off the trail for the sake of a shortcut. And instead I found myself being stared down by a big pissed-off-looking buffalo about 30 feet in front of me. I very slowly backed away while maintaining eye contact, put a large tree between myself and it as fast as I could, and then high-tailed it back to the trail where there were other humans. Probably one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced. Kicking the buffalo was the last thing on my mind. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1040 "2024-05-01T01:34:04Z")
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