# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 67
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1321 "2024-05-28T19:37:36Z")
Every time I try to explain this board to someone in meat space I embarrass myself. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1322 "2024-05-28T19:59:47Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > > [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > > > What is a ‘tactical pen’? > > It’s like a regular pen, but looks bad ass, has less functionality than, and not as useful as, a regular pen, and costs more. > > Same with anything with “tactical” in its marketing. - > > [Amazon.com](https://www.amazon.com/Ka-Bar-Tactical-Spork-Spoon-9909/dp/B01FYJ6ICK) The handle is a (concealed?)knife. Also, it looks like it could function as a Kuboton. > **[Kubotan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kubotan)** > > Kubotan is a genericized trademark for a self-defense keychain weapon developed by Sōke Takayuki Kubota in the late 1960s. It is typically no more than .mw-parser-output .frac{white-space:nowrap}.mw-parser-output .frac .num,.mw-parser-output .frac .den{font-size:80%;line-height:0;vertical-align:super}.mw-parser-output .frac .den{vertical-align:sub}.mw-parser-output .sr-only{border:0;clip:rect(0,0,0,0);clip-path:polygon(0px 0px,0px 0px,0px 0px);height:1px;margin:-1px;overflow:hidden;padding:0;posi... ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1323 "2024-05-28T20:02:33Z")
OK, it sounds like I won’t have to tell TSA ‘Keep your hands off my Parker!’ (Google isn’t turning anything up, so I may be mis-remembering the tag line from that childhood commercial.) I’ll bet I could poke an eye out with it though. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1324 "2024-05-28T20:02:45Z")
Then there are [tactical drinking straws](https://www.pvk.com/John-Gray-Tactical-Drinking-Straw-p/jg-staw.htm). I think they’ve been confiscated by TSA. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1325 "2024-05-28T20:05:05Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > The handle is a (concealed?)knife. I haven’t seen a tactical pen with a concealed knife. I would just call that a knife. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1326 "2024-05-28T20:05:29Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Then there are [tactical drinking straws](https://www.pvk.com/John-Gray-Tactical-Drinking-Straw-p/jg-staw.htm). I think they’ve been confiscated by TSA. - How else is an elderly vampire supposed to feed? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1327 "2024-05-28T20:06:23Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > > [@running\_coach](#): > > > > The handle is a (concealed?)knife. > > I haven’t seen a tactical pen with a concealed knife. I would just call that a knife. - I was referring to the tactical spork. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1328 "2024-05-28T20:14:29Z")
Oh, well all bets are off with a spork. Funny enough, I have a switchspork in my bedstand. It even works. It’s basically this: [![](https://gotoytime.com/cdn/shop/files/Screenshot2023-08-05at5.33.09AM_800x.jpg) ](https://gotoytime.com/cdn/shop/files/Screenshot2023-08-05at5.33.09AM_800x.jpg) The only disappointment is that it doesn’t flick open as fast as a switchblade because the spork is a lot bigger than a little blade. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1329 "2024-05-28T20:35:04Z")
> **[Teenager survives 400ft fall from Washington state canyon](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/28/washington-canyon-teenager-survives-fall)** > > The 19-year-old had ‘minimal injuries’ after a two-hour rescue mission in an area several fall from yearly ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1330 "2024-05-28T20:56:56Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I didn’t fly for a few months after 9/11, but yes, everyone was _really_ on edge. Long security lines and virtually no one complained. Me too. IMHO, the lines have not gotten much shorter. The National Guard isn’t standing around with M4’s anymore though. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1331 "2024-05-28T21:04:09Z")
That’s a whirligig, a potato peeler, and I’ve sliced my hands many times with one! But the one trip I took involving an airplane was after sept. 11, and at the airport I realized that I had a bic lighter in my pocket. I told the agent at Logan, and he said it was fine. I did not express my thought that it could be used to set fires on planes. I bit my tongue and made sure not to set any fires on the plane. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1332 "2024-05-28T21:07:50Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > [Teenager survives 400ft fall from Washington state canyon | Washington state | The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/28/washington-canyon-teenager-survives-fall) I heard about this on our local NPR affiliate this morning. They said that what _looks_ like a hiking trail quickly turns into a cliff. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1333 "2024-05-28T21:16:41Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I didn’t fly for a few months after 9/11, but yes, everyone was _really_ on edge. Long security lines and virtually no one complained. Me too. IMHO, the lines have not gotten much shorter. The National Guard isn’t standing around with M4’s anymore though. > [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I heard about this on our local NPR affiliate this morning. They said that what _looks_ like a hiking trail quickly turns into a cliff. If it’s slippery, and you’re an invincible 16 yo. You, could well and surely be fucked. This is where “vegetable holds” come in handy. Grab freaking anything. I’ve done it. Very poor form, but lived to talk about it, so there is that. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1334 "2024-05-28T21:42:09Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > It won’t use those pointy gripping teeth on us! It won’t grab a leg and hold us underwater for 10 minutes! Decades ago at one of the Southern California sea parks a TV crew was there to do a puff piece and talked a woman trainer a bikini instead of her usual wet suit. Part of the act included her riding the back of an orca while waving at the crowd. The whale suddenly rolled,\* dumping her into the water, then latched onto an ankle. Luckily it was close enough to the side of the tank her coworkers grabbed her before she was pulled under. I vividly remember two people pulling with all of their might, a third beating on the snout of the orca, and her leg it its mouth halfway up the calf. Luckily she escaped with only lacerations and a broken ankle. \*The analysis later was that the orca was curious about the difference in texture between rubber and skin. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1335 "2024-05-28T21:54:32Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > How else is an elderly vampire supposed to feed? The very moment I was reading this the TV was playing a Poligrip commercial featuring an archetypal Count Dracula. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1336 "2024-05-28T22:04:18Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > I vividly remember two people pulling with all of their might, a third beating on the snout of the orca Makes me idly wonder if they have weapons for such an occurrence. Did her coworkers use a chair or something to hit the Orca? I imagine that all the whale had to do was exhale and sink. I think. Far from knowledgeable on such matters. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1337 "2024-05-28T22:06:10Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Name not given. Could it be Dennis? If Hank Ketchum spent three years collecting data before beginning his chronicles of the five-year old menace in 1951, it very well could be… ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1338 "2024-05-28T22:34:13Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > A couple weeks after 9/11, I was getting on a plane at Jackson, WY, and the guy ahead of me had a pair of surgical forceps confiscated. Are those forceps or a hemostat? (And he had them confiscated not so much because they are dangerous: someone working the checkpoint just needed a new roachclip.) ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1339 "2024-05-28T22:52:44Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Makes me idly wonder if they have weapons for such an occurrence. Did her coworkers use a chair or something to hit the Orca? Now I’m imagining an Orca on Jerry Springer. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1340 "2024-05-28T23:16:48Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Now I’m imagining an Orca on Jerry Springer. Footage of Steve holding an orca back as it chitters angrily at a ex-lover would be the best thing ever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=66) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=68)