# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 92
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1821 "2024-07-07T11:14:44Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > Really? What putz decided that this was worthy of a fine? Not that he should have been fined, but stopping in the middle of a time trial does show a bit of a lax approach to the race going on. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1822 "2024-07-07T12:41:13Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > Really? What putz decided that this was worthy of a fine? Yeah, that’s kinda crazy. My wife did IronMans (men?). Once at the end of the race, the running part our niece cut out of the crowd and joined her for the last part of the race. A BIG no, no. niece blended back into the crowd after a few hundred yards. At another race, my wifes friend was just coming to the finish line. Her dog burst out of the crowd and finished with her. Umm. Sorrry DNF for that. Big bummer after a 140 mile race. The woman did not care though, she took it in stride. SHE knows she finished. They are serious about this shit. They have to be or it would turn into a circus. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1823 "2024-07-07T13:06:38Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Not that he should have been fined, but stopping in the middle of a time trial does show a bit of a lax approach to the race going on. Maybe, but stopping for a kiss is very French. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1824 "2024-07-07T13:23:13Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > …or it would turn into a circus. Have you seen the Tour de France? The only thing missing is a dancing bear. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1825 "2024-07-07T13:25:57Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > > [@enipla](#): > > > > …or it would turn into a circus. > > Have you seen the Tour de France? The only thing missing is a dancing bear. - Not dancing but… [![](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/E78A6M/tour-de-france-publicity-caravan-during-the-2014-cycle-race-in-london-E78A6M.jpg) ](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/E78A6M/tour-de-france-publicity-caravan-during-the-2014-cycle-race-in-london-E78A6M.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1826 "2024-07-07T13:53:57Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Have you seen the Tour de France? The only thing missing is a dancing bear. Huh, not really into watching sports. I was my wife’s sherpa. There are plenty of loud spectators and displays for sure. Keep them off the course for the IronMan is what I’ve seen. If an athlete wanted to stop, and hug a member of the public over a fence, it would be ok. Provided they where not provided food/water. That’s what aid stations are for. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1827 "2024-07-07T13:55:46Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > > The coroner later said the victim, 41-year-old Allen Ray McGrew, had ignited a large firework on top of his head. Witnesses told investigators he was wearing a large top hat, and put the firework on top of the hat before lighting it. The device exploded, causing “massive head injuries.” > > > > McGrew was pronounced dead at the scene. > > At least the top hat was a nice touch. 🎩 One wonders what specifically “the device” was and how much the explosion was a malfunction versus its intended function. Of which intended function the guy was blissfully unaware until he was blissfully unaware of anything ever again. Without “after” pix, IOW a head shot, we’ll never know how much of a head shot he took. Decent bet he never knew what hit him, but we can’t be sure. [rant] The lead pic in @Johnny_L.A cite to Yahoo News is, yep, a stock photo unrelated to the actual event. So nothing we can use in our amateur forensics. I _really_ hate the media industry’s habit of illustrating any story with pictures of something else sorta kinda semi-related maybe but not really. All with no caveat that the pic is deliberately and explicitly misleading about the events described in the accompanying article. [/rant] I do have to say though that if one pronounces “yahoo” with a long “a”, the idea of a site called “Yahoo News” that publishes the escapades of rocket surgeons like this fellow makes a certain poetic justice. I’d just like to ensure my own epitaph is not published in that kind of Yayhoo News. 😁 In seriousness, let’s all give a thought for his poor wife who had to watch her husband commit inadvertent suicide among friends. That’s gonna leave a scar in her forever. I’m sorry, Lady. You didn’t deserve that. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1828 "2024-07-07T14:27:01Z")
Yeah, every stupid MFER hurts others. But not thinking about that is part of their stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1829 "2024-07-07T15:14:28Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > One wonders what specifically “the device” was and how much the explosion was a malfunction versus its intended function. As I mentioned in another thread, death by firework hat seems to be a less rare form of natural selection than one might think. > [@Fireworks Mayhem 2024](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fireworks-mayhem-2024/1003322/34): > > Not uniquely drunk: [https://www.kxan.com/news/texas/texas-man-dies-after-lighting-firework-on-his-head/](https://www.kxan.com/news/texas/texas-man-dies-after-lighting-firework-on-his-head/) I knew I had heard of it before. I don’t know if it was one of these three earlier incidents or uet another one. I just assumed they were artillery shells, and these guys were getting an abbreviated but effective lesson on Newton’s 3rd law of motion. > **[Artillery Shell Fireworks - Types, Performance, and Safety](https://blog.jakesfireworks.com/blog/artillery-shell-fireworks-types-performance-and-safety)** > > Want to know more about artillery shell fireworks? We go in depth on the performance, terminology, and safety of artillery shells. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1830 "2024-07-07T15:18:44Z")
When are people going to start following the proper steps to launch fireworks from their heads? Sad… ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1831 "2024-07-07T16:59:09Z")
Moral of the story: if you’re going to launch fireworks from your head, [have plenty of Unguentine on hand](https://shepquest.wordpress.com/2017/07/09/jean-shepherd-kid-story-fireworks-1-of-2/). ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1832 "2024-07-07T19:23:43Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > The scientific journal Medicine has published a study on gout which contains AI-generated diagrams of pure gibberish. I’ve just downloaded and expanded the image. None of the words are really words in any language. One of the chemical structures looks like phenol with the hydrogen missing. The diagram is gibberish in every sense. I’ll have to have a look at the article itself. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1833 "2024-07-07T20:43:30Z")
The article itself is coherent and reasonable. The cited works are all genuine. The researchers have multiple articles to their names. The only thing that’s whacko is that off-the-wall illustration, with its nonsense anatomy, chemistry, and gobbledegook captions. The journal **Medicine** out of Baltimore exisdts, and the cited article appears in Google Scholar [https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as\_sdt=0%2C22&q=Assessment+of+the+efficacy+of+alkaline+water+in+conjunction+with+conventional+medication+for+the+treatment+of+chronic+gouty+arthritis%3A+A+randomized+controlled+study&btnG=](https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C22&q=Assessment+of+the+efficacy+of+alkaline+water+in+conjunction+with+conventional+medication+for+the+treatment+of+chronic+gouty+arthritis%3A+A+randomized+controlled+study&btnG=) It’s even been cited once already. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1834 "2024-07-07T20:51:40Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > It’s even been cited once already. Can you cite something sarcastically? (see [Tai’s rule (the trapezoidal rule, “discovered” by a medical student in 1994](https://diabetesjournals.org/care/article/17/2/152/17985/A-Mathematical-Model-for-the-Determination-of)) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2024, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1835 "2024-07-07T20:55:13Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > Can you cite something sarcastically? You can, but they don’t appear to have done so. It looks as if they wanted to cite all recent papers on the topic. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2024, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1836 "2024-07-08T15:59:09Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > The article itself is coherent and reasonable. The cited works are all genuine. The researchers have multiple articles to their names. The only thing that’s whacko is that off-the-wall illustration, with its nonsense anatomy, chemistry, and gobbledegook captions. How the heck did that illustration make it into the paper? The writers would obviously know it was BS and not knowingly include it, at least I hope not knowingly include it. It’s so odd. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2024, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1837 "2024-07-08T16:39:19Z")
And thus does the 4th-tier research assistant get his (almost certainly “his”) revenge. Knowing his degree path is hopeless and he’s been treated like a dog by these principals he wants to go out in a blaze of glory. Sort like the flight attendant who after the jet parked grabbed a beer from the galley, took a big swig amongst the passengers, then opened an exit, activating the slide, and slid down to Glorious Freedom while waving the beer and shouting obscenities. TLDR: Hey y’all! Watch this! ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2024, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1838 "2024-07-08T16:54:11Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Sort like the flight attendant who after the jet parked grabbed a beer from the galley, took a big swig amongst the passengers, then opened an exit, activating the slide, and slid down to Glorious Freedom while waving the beer and shouting obscenities. Did you at least _consider_ retiring like that? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2024, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1839 "2024-07-08T17:24:17Z")
Just a reminder that’s a real incident, there’s even a Wikipedia page for it. > **[JetBlue flight attendant incident](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JetBlue_flight_attendant_incident)** > > The JetBlue flight attendant incident occurred after JetBlue Airways Flight 1052, from Pittsburgh to New York City on August 9, 2010, had landed at John F. Kennedy International Airport. Steven Slater, a veteran flight attendant announced over the plane's public address system that he had been abused by a passenger and was quitting his job. He then grabbed and guzzled two beers and exited the plane by deploying the evacuation slide and sliding down it. Slater claimed to have been injured by a p... Sure it was stupid and reckless but that dude had style. > He then activated the emergency inflatable slide, exited the plane, and threw his tie on the tarmac before calmly walking to his Jeep. If the plane exploded as he walked away it would have been a real life 80s action film. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2024, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/1840 "2024-07-08T17:27:31Z")
Thanks @Atamasama. @Darren_Garrison: We often trash-talk about such ideas at the bar. I’ve heard some pretty outlandish ideas for one last FU aimed at the company. None dangerous, all highly embarrassing to a staid and brutally humorless corporation. In my case I did not know which was my last flight until 4 days after it had happened. That’s unusual, but far from rare. As I was flying it I was certainly aware it might be, in fact probably would be. Turns out I was right. There are a lot of post-retirement goodies the company can withhold if they feel like being jerks about it and choose to fire you over something you just did the day before you’d otherwise retire. That FA was quitting mid-career that fateful day and there was really nothing their employer could withhold from them as last ditch ~~leverage~~ revenge. They did however end up with a “do not rehire” note in their Permanent File. So there is that 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=91) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=93)