# Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2016, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489 "2016-05-23T21:38:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2016, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/221 "2016-06-18T19:27:29Z")
[How do we make sure everyone in Maine breathes?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796123) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2016, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/222 "2016-06-18T23:32:59Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > [How do we make sure everyone in Maine breathes?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796123) Dammit, suckered me into opening a pretty useless thread. (It’s another boffarino. I swear he thinks just enough to come up with “Gee, there’s this thing goin on that kinda makes me wonder… hey, I’ll use my “Start a SDMB Thread” extension. Maybe somebody there’ll explain to me how the world works.”") ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2016, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/223 "2016-06-21T18:09:59Z")
Another boffking special: [I have ideas but lack the ability to give them the most rudimentary of thought](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796365). I think a new term needs to be created for this sort of poster. I suggest “fulmar” after the gull with chicks that puke as a defense. boffking’s threads are only so much vomit from his brain. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/224 "2016-06-22T17:08:59Z")
I’m so disappointed in this thread. I was hoping for _new_ morons, but I’ve seen all of these but one, and he’s already been banned, so what fun is _that_? I must have nearly perfect trolldar. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/225 "2016-06-22T18:12:34Z")
Well, if we’re shifting to Fulmars (thank you **Naita** ), can we add **AcePlace57** (57?, whatever it is). He’s never read a CNN headline without thinking - I need to start a thread on that! No filter. No independent thought. Just bam, glurge, a thread is born. So what happened to our boy **Giraffes Can’t Dance**? Did I miss his grand exit already? Off to check. I have been keeping a weather eye on **12mgdaily** with his [thread=796398]Men: Have you ever been seduced?[/thread] but he hasn’t quite gotten there yet. Don’t despair. Summer School will be out soon. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/226 "2016-06-22T18:30:52Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > [How do we make sure everyone in Maine breathes?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796123) Today he’s wondering [why we have nuclear weapons](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796453) when we can’t even use them to slice vegetables. I wish I was exaggerating that for comic effect. ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/227 "2016-06-23T02:43:51Z")
[This will be fun to watch.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796531) **DerekMichaels00** continues to grouse about how being short consigns him to a life of fat chicks. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/228 "2016-06-23T03:13:21Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > Today he’s wondering [why we have nuclear weapons](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796453) when we can’t even use them to slice vegetables. I wish I was exaggerating that for comic effect. I have fire insurance on my house and it pisses me off to no end that I’ve never had a claim!! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/229 "2016-06-23T08:24:55Z")
> [@oft\_wears\_hats](#): > > [This will be fun to watch.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796531) **DerekMichaels00** continues to grouse about how being short consigns him to a life of fat chicks. Or something. I thought it was bitterness that even the fat chicks won’t touch him, ungrateful wenches. Clearly they don’t realize how lucky they are that he’s willing to lower his standards. The irony is delicious. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/230 "2016-06-23T12:43:08Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > Clearly they don’t realize how lucky they are that he’s willing to lower his standards. But he’s not, because fat people are gross and unattractive. Also, they are lazy. And they also generally know better than to fuck him. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/231 "2016-06-23T15:30:03Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > I thought it was bitterness that even the fat chicks won’t touch him, ungrateful wenches. Clearly they don’t realize how lucky they are that he’s willing to lower his standards. The irony is delicious. Yeah, he’s pissed off that not even women he doesn’t want to fuck will fuck him. They’re too “prissy and spoiled.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen an “I can’t get laid!” thread that made the OP look like more of a total loser. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/232 "2016-06-23T23:13:05Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Does he ever return to his own threads? > > Not being a fan of the **GlowingDarkness** _oeuvre_, I can’t say, but surely with such an awesome thread-to-post ratio – noted above as being 0.75 (sometimes known as [the John Mace Quotient](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19355086&postcount=10) in honor of its inventor) – our luminescent friend apparently wastes little time posting either in his own threads or anyone else’s, and merely busies himself starting threads, somewhat like a write-only trollbot. To add to the magnificent collection already cited, the latest write-only achievement in philosophical rumination is [“why is pain painful?”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=793951) an inquiry that I can only imagine was inspired by how we all feel when reading his magnificently abundant threads. > > But no, he’s not challenging **boffking** , he is head and shoulders above **boffking** , who with 451 threads and 1252 posts has a relatively lowly JMQ of just 0.36. But to give **boffking** credit, most of those posts are in other people’s threads. Like the inimitable **GlowingDarkness** , he has very little interest in his own work. Perhaps it’s a form of artistic modesty. I see that the **boffster** ’s amazing random brain fart thread-to-post ratio [has started to draw attention](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19428156&postcount=35). ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/233 "2016-06-24T00:34:53Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > I thought it was bitterness that even the fat chicks won’t touch him, ungrateful wenches. Clearly they don’t realize how lucky they are that he’s willing to lower his standards. The irony is delicious. I can’t even get mad about this kind of thing any more. I have to say I’m delighted that the older I get, the fewer shits I seem to give about random people and their dumb opinions. I do just think it’s deeply tragic. People like this will live their entire lives never truly understanding that they aren’t being rejected because of the superficial reasons they think they are. It’s because of _who they are_. I am genuinely sad about this, because I think so many people make themselves miserable by being miserable people, and they never really get that flash of insight that could turn their lives around. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/234 "2016-06-25T04:16:08Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > …I think so many people make themselves miserable by being miserable people, and they never really get that flash of insight that could turn their lives around. But _would_ they turn their lives around? I’m betting people like this get little flashes and ignore them. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/235 "2016-06-25T05:15:35Z")
> [@digs](#): > > But _would_ they turn their lives around? I’m betting people like this get little flashes and ignore them. You’re right. They do get them. The problem lies in the fact that they think those little flashes point out what’s wrong with everyone else but them. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/236 "2016-06-25T12:16:07Z")
Can we talk about the fact that **dougie\_monty** claims to have a 22 yo Mercedes and [he’s incapable of finding the air conditioning buttons?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19424769&postcount=33) > [@No more trips there: a drastic decision (a wise one?)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-trips-there-a-drastic-decision-a-wise-one/758013/33): > > The car, 22 years old, may have air conditioning. But my efforts to locate an owner’s manual (the car did not have one when I bought it) have been futile, and the controls are not that well marked. (It’s a 1994 Mercedes Benz C-280.) That has to be straight up trolling. I refuse to believe that anyone who can’t operate a car air conditioning unit is capable of signing up for a message board. Oh and [he can’t figure out how to get Uber](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19425134&postcount=44) on his Samsung 5, either. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/237 "2016-06-25T14:58:38Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I see that the **boffster** ’s amazing random brain fart thread-to-post ratio [has started to draw attention](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19428156&postcount=35). Not an accident. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/238 "2016-06-25T15:05:23Z")
More [Foot In Mouth Disease](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=796752) by our local throwback. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/239 "2016-06-25T18:44:48Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Can we talk about the fact that **dougie\_monty** claims to have a 22 yo Mercedes and [he’s incapable of finding the air conditioning buttons?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19424769&postcount=33) > > That has to be straight up trolling. I refuse to believe that anyone who can’t operate a car air conditioning unit is capable of signing up for a message board. He’s a very sheltered Jehovah’s Witness. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/240 "2016-06-25T19:51:54Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > People like this will live their entire lives never truly understanding that they aren’t being rejected because of the superficial reasons they think they are. It’s because of _who they are_. It’s a twofold problem, though. A fat woman or a short man may indeed be rejected because of their weight or height. A bitter attitude does worsen the situation and make anyone less attractive, no doubt. But in many cases people are \*indeed \*being rejected for _who they are, physically_ - or racially, or otherwise. There’s no getting around that factor, even in the 21st century. If anything I think we may be even more looks and appearance-obsessed than generations before us. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=13)