# Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2016, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489 "2016-05-23T21:38:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/241 "2016-06-25T19:59:08Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > It’s a twofold problem, though. A fat woman or a short man may indeed be rejected because of their weight or height. A bitter attitude does worsen the situation and make anyone less attractive, no doubt. But in many cases people are \*indeed \*being rejected for _who they are, physically_ - or racially, or otherwise. There’s no getting around that factor, even in the 21st century. If anything I think we may be even more looks and appearance-obsessed than generations before us. Yes, people are getting rejected, but everyone is rejected sometimes. Unless they are horribly disfigured or morbidly obese (and often even then), anyone who puts a little effort into hygiene and dressing well, and who has a good attitude, will also be accepted sometimes. Without exception aside from those mentioned above, if someone is always getting rejected, then the problem lies with them. Either their expectations are unrealistic or their personality is just shit. Or both. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/242 "2016-06-25T20:25:54Z")
I agree with **andy**. It’s amazing to me to listen to these guys (in my world, most of the women don’t do this) go on and on about how “females” don’t want them because they’re short / bald / like video games / don’t have the best job / you-name-it. Yet, all over the place I see similar fellows in relationships (long term too) all the time. The difference seems to be a two parter; 1) Bitchy guys always have their sights set on others that are clearly out of their league. You think you’re going to land ScarJo, then you better be Ryan Reynolds. They are more than happy to overlook the chick with the mousy hair / overbite / Coke bottle glasses / a poochy stomach / whatever. And 2) they’re never happy with themselves. It’s always someone else’s fault that they’re not getting laid. Or paid more or drive a nicer car or have as much time off. They never make the most of what they have (like a pretty smile or fondness for animals or ability to make a killer apple pie or yodel), they only complain and act bitter because the world has shat on them. Crazy how all that works. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/243 "2016-06-25T20:29:31Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I agree with **andy**. It’s amazing to me to listen to these guys (in my world, most of the women don’t do this) go on and on about how “females” don’t want them because they’re short / bald / like video games / don’t have the best job / you-name-it. Yet, all over the place I see similar fellows in relationships (long term too) all the time. The difference seems to be a two parter; 1) Bitchy guys always have their sights set on others that are clearly out of their league. You think you’re going to land ScarJo, then you better be Ryan Reynolds. They are more than happy to overlook the chick with the mousy hair / overbite / Coke bottle glasses / a poochy stomach / whatever. > > And 2) they’re never happy with themselves. It’s always someone else’s fault that they’re not getting laid. Or paid more or drive a nicer car or have as much time off. They never make the most of what they have (like a pretty smile or fondness for animals or ability to make a killer apple pie or yodel), they only complain and act bitter because the world has shat on them. > > Crazy how all that works. I also know this because I was once a frustrated, bitter, and lonely overweight guy. But eventually my attitude changed, and so did my romantic success. And I’m still overweight. It was my attitude that failed me, not my weight. My weight had almost nothing to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/244 "2016-06-25T22:18:57Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > He’s a very sheltered Jehovah’s Witness. Being a Witness is not like being Amish. There’s nothing in their teachings that accounts for dougie\_monty’s professed inability to find the air conditioning button. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/245 "2016-06-26T01:26:14Z")
Yeah, shouldn’t talk about it here-still surprised a post-mortem thread hasn’t been started for **BrainGlutton** ’s banning. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/246 "2016-06-26T01:40:36Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Being a Witness is not like being Amish. There’s nothing in their teachings that accounts for dougie\_monty’s professed inability to find the air conditioning button. True, but he’s clueless regarding certain bits of the world at large anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/247 "2016-06-26T02:24:56Z")
I don’t even know what to call this, but quote #1 comes from the “Women do you think about boffing strangers?” (paraphrased) and quote #2 is from the one about fat chicks by our height-challenged troll. Y’all decide. > [@Women - do you think about boffing random strangers?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/24): > > What **Rushgeedgirl** ([Post #5](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=19431349#post19431349)) and **jtur88** ([Post #7](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=19431375#post19431375)) said. > > Seriously, there’s way too much hostility from many of you females because so many of you seem to think that the only thing males want with you is a hot roll in the hay. > > There’s a whole lot more than that, less male-hostile and less sex-hostile, even mentioned by many female respondents in this very thread, that you don’t seem to imagine that males would like also. > > A female friend with whom to engage in: > > [ul] > [li] Congenial dates, consisting of social or recreational activities together: Day trips at the beach, hike in the redwoods, visit museums – all the stuff you see _ad infinitum_ in all those on-line personals ads.[/li] > [li] Companionship[/li] > [li] Affection, both emotional and physical. Holding hands (e.g., while engaging in the first bullet above), hugging, cuddling, massage, “making out”. Clothes on or clothes off. You get the picture. This is all apart from actual sex.[/li][/ul] > > All those “nice guys” and “Nice Guys™” who aren’t getting laid, _also_ aren’t getting any of the above. The whole concept of “gettingt laid” has become a proxy for all that – males who complain of not having any “success” with females are actually complaining about not getting any of the above – yet they are invariably flamed to hell (and not back) for complaining about “not getting laid” – when, in fact, when you read their complaints, that’s not actually what they usually said. > > Challenge: Find threads or blogs or whatever on the topic, on this board or elsewhere (other than outright MRA sites), and see how many of actually specifically mention “not getting laid” as their complaint. Mostly, not. Find threads or blogs or whatever where such relationship-challenged males explicitly claim “entitlement” – you won’t find that. (The only case I know of, who explicitly claimed “entitlement”, was that guy who shot up the sorority in Santa Barbara a while back, in the manifesto he left.) Yet, in response, such males are invariably thoroughly flamed, reviled, demonized, and vilified because they are accused of just wanting to “get laid” and, falsely, they are accused of feeling “entitled”. > > What **jtur88** said. Just like what **Rushgeekgirl** said. Males, just as much as females, want the kinds of things that I listed above. And, yes, > > Yes, sex is important too. Males want that as well.Nobody’s flaming any females (well, other than **ZPG Zealot** ) for the rare male-positive things they are writing in this thread. (And thanks to **beowulff** for raising this topic!) Now, when was the last time any males _didn’t_ get flamed for writing/saying/thinking the same things about females? > [@Is that a fat woman gets to see a short guy as "equivalent" a form of sexual affirmative action?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-a-fat-woman-gets-to-see-a-short-guy-as-equivalent-a-form-of-sexual-affirmative-action/758108/182): > > This remarks leads us to discuss the biggest fallacy in ALL these bitter, allegedly misogynistic, threads, and not just in these threads but IRL too. > > I’ll give the TL;DR first, since I can see this is going to be lengthy: Those nasty bitter cynical misogynistic males weren’t born that way (mostly, probably). Many of them could have been actual nice guys in their earlier lives, but socially awkward (or maybe just short), and were largely or totally unsuccessful with the females for years and years and years – then they become cynical, angry, and bitter. Not the other way around. They aren’t losers with the ladies because they are bitter (well, now they are, but it wasn’t always that way). No, they were nice guys but became bitter after year upon year of – nothing – and thus they evolved from nice guys to “Nice Guys™”. > > [/end of TL;DR] > > * * * > > It’s so easy to snark and revile at those bitter cynical people like OP, and to tell them: Well _of course_ you’re never going to get any “chicks”, “fat” or otherwise, if you’re going to be like _that!_ > > Here’s the fallacy: Do you think all these bitter, angry, love-starved, sex-starved guys were _always_ like that? Do you think they were _born_ like that? Probably not, usually, I would suppose. How do you think they got that way in the first place? > > These are people who might well have been “nice guys” [not “Nice Guys™”] in their earlier existence – you know, those nerdy or socially awkward males who, as **flodnak** put it: > > (Okay, we’ll overlook that fact that the above quote was discussing Rick Santorum. It could be any number of other dweebs.) > > What do you think happens when they get rejected – can’t hardly ever even get a coffee date, let alone get an actual _relationship_ going – for [del]month after month after month[/del] year after year after year? It is any surprise that these guys are going to get more than a little bit _bitter_ by and by? > > Then they evolve from “nice guy” into “Nice Guy™” – the embittered long-term rejects, reviled and demonized by everyone. They are accused of “feeling entitled to sex”, although I challenge anyone here to find a case where one of them actually said or wrote that. See [this rather recent thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=19187113), titled “Nice Guys” vs. Decent, Albeit Clueless, Men" for discussion. Look at **kunilou** ’s vacuous attempt to be helpful: > > Look: “There’s nothing actually wrong with you, but I have zero attraction toward you.” > > What happens when one hears that over and over, year after year after year? That might actually (and does) happen to a socially awkward male. Is it true that he “There’s nothing actually wrong with you”? If so, then why no relationship after years and years? Or is it false that “There’s nothing actually wrong with you”? In which case, all the friends that said that were flat-out talking BSDL (Bullshit, doubletalk and lies). > > Answer: They just might turn into that guy that **Loach** knows: > > If these males can go for so many years without a match, does prove that they were, in face, just jerks all along? If so, why didn’t their so-called “friends” tell them, along with some actual helpful suggestions – as opposed to **kunilou** ’s vacuous pablum? > > More correctly, they were “promised” a relationship (never sex explicitly, but of course that’s implied). All their so-called “friends” (all of whom perceived from the moment they met that such a guy had no chance of ever getting [del]laid[/del] a girlfriend) assured them that they just need to get out more and meet more females; surely there is someone in one of your classes [or wherever] who is interested in you; there are plenty of available people to meet (notwithstanding that the majority of those are in China); “plenty of fish”; you’ll meet that special someone eventually – All BSDL! These “nice guys” hear that for years from all their “friends”, who knew all along it was BSDL. Look again at **kunilou** ’s last line: > > “Assuming they’re actually nice and not “Nice Guys” things will click for them eventually.” > > Lies! Bullshit, doubletalk and lies! BSDL! > > These guys aren’t asking “where’s all this sex _I’m entitled to_?” – they’re asking “where’s all this sex [a proxy for _a relationships_, really] that I’ve been _promised_ all these years?” Yes, it takes a while for a naive young adult (especially a socially awkward one) to understand that “things will click for [you] eventually” is just a vacuous anodyne lie. > > No, these guys don’t have any “women friends who could help out”. That’s unheard of. If they have any female acquaintances at all (a rare case in itself), they will offer nothing more than the anodyne BSDL, like the examples above, and maybe lots of that. > > Here’s a rich one: “Just hang tight another six weeks until the wedding. You’re certain to meet someone there.” Yes, some-female-one really said that. > > (The more I skim through that thread ([here’s the link again](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=19187113)) the more it seems like required reading. Look carefully – see all the sweet romantic anodyne lies there.) > > Hey, I just googled site:boards.straightdope.com dry spell and got a whole page of threads discussing how long various posters’ last or current “dry spell” was – where “dry spell” is explicitly defined as time since last getting laid. Yeah, people actually talk about that – a lot. I’m inclined to interpret “sexual dry spell” as a metaphor that actually means “not having an actual relationship” for a long time. The more common response seems to be along the lines “hey, you got hands? So shut up and masturbate. What more do you need?” Um… y’know, sitting home alone jerking off doesn’t really substitute for all the things a relationship can be. I see anger and hostility in so many responses like that. > > Enough. So: > > Summary: Even actual nice guys get turned down incessantly for years on end, until they become angry, bitter, and resentful, and evolve into the reviled “Nice Guy™”. – Can you blame them? “Entitlement” has nothing to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/248 "2016-06-26T02:38:56Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > True, but he’s clueless regarding certain bits of the world at large anyway. 🙂 Quite the understatement. Anyone who hasn’t read every single post ever made by Dougie is missing out on one of Western Civilization’s best values in entertainment. Not only does he supply inadvertent hilarity, with inappropriate callbacks to early Mad Magazine articles and Dragnet episodes, but the real fun always begins when someone pokes fun, and he gets huffy. He really believes he’s winning against his godless opponents with his brilliant-yet-arcane one-liners. From the “Can’t find the A/C thread”: > [@No more trips there: a drastic decision (a wise one?)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-trips-there-a-drastic-decision-a-wise-one/758013/85): > > You’re about as entertaining as one wrestler. And when no one “got” the “joke”: > [@No more trips there: a drastic decision (a wise one?)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-more-trips-there-a-drastic-decision-a-wise-one/758013/93): > > You who heckle me are not amusing… > What I might want to see is a one-armed paperhanger who has the hives. This isn’t trolling, it’s beyond that. So much sadder and funnier. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/249 "2016-06-26T13:40:11Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Yeah, shouldn’t talk about it here-still surprised a post-mortem thread hasn’t been started for **BrainGlutton** ’s banning. What would we need a post mortem thread for? ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/250 "2016-06-26T14:03:38Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I don’t even know what to call this, but quote #1 comes from the “Women do you think about boffing strangers?” (paraphrased) and quote #2 is from the one about fat chicks by our height-challenged troll. Y’all decide. I’d call it “\*\*senegoid \*\* is bitter because he can’t get laid and takes way too long to say so.” ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/251 "2016-06-26T14:56:03Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > True, but he’s clueless regarding certain bits of the world at large anyway. 🙂 I’m willing to believe that he’s both a troll and a moron but I don’t agree that being a moron means he can’t qualify for the troll label. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/252 "2016-06-26T19:51:27Z")
The two aren’t mutually exclusive, sure, but there’s also Hanlon’s Razor. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/253 "2016-06-27T06:13:17Z")
> [@digs](#): > > But _would_ they turn their lives around? I’m betting people like this get little flashes and ignore them. Sometimes those little flashes are many different women telling them “I’d date you but I won’t date your drinking”. But nooo, the reason he couldn’t get laid wasn’t his drinking: it was his Roman nose, which pre-surgery had gone perfectly well with the rest of his Roman profile. Even after a dozen of us told him post-surgery that we liked him so long as he was sober, he’d rather have his whisky. But it wasn’t him choosing a bottle over a bed: it was us not knowing what we were missing :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/254 "2016-06-27T14:02:00Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Can we talk about the fact that **dougie\_monty** claims to have a 22 yo Mercedes and [he’s incapable of finding the air conditioning buttons?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19424769&postcount=33) > > That has to be straight up trolling. I refuse to believe that anyone who can’t operate a car air conditioning unit is capable of signing up for a message board. Man, you guys are tough! This really isn’t surprising. On that year model car, the buttons for the AC are not very intuitive. There is nothing that says AC, there is no snowflake, no nothing. You have a thermostat wheel (which may be in F or C, but I’d guess it is in C) and a row of buttons. Of the five buttons that control vents and only one engages the AC. One shows the familiar windshield icon (defroster), the next has two solid arrows (one up and one down), the next one is like the one prior, but the up arrow is only outlined, the next one is like the prior one, but between the outlined arrow and the solid arrow are the letters “EC”, and the final one is just a big “O”. [Here is a picture.](http://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/281883561452-0-1/s-l1000.jpg) Now, maybe you could guess at which one would turn on the AC, but if the AC doesn’t work, you would have no way of knowing if it was because you didn’t press the correct button or if the AC was just non-functional. > [@](#): > > Oh and [he can’t figure out how to get Uber](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19425134&postcount=44) on his Samsung 5, either. OK, I think this is just a reading comprehension issue. It isn’t that he can’t figure out how to get Uber on his phone, it’s that while he could get a Uber driver to take them to Christmas Dinner, they couldn’t get one to pick them up and take them home. Too late on Christmas Day, I’d figure. I find it surprising that people who feel they are some of the smartest and hippest people on the planet have an inability to understand somebody else’s troubles. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/255 "2016-06-27T14:02:56Z")
> [@naita](#): > > I believe Urbanredneck isn’t a troll, he’s just very stupid and unable to grasp it. Perhaps, but I was kind of struck by his behavior in this thread, where he posts something more or less reasonable in post 35: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19434250&postcount=35](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19434250&postcount=35) Then four posts later, decides for whatever reason he just has to let the dogs out: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19436224&postcount=39](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19436224&postcount=39) ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/256 "2016-06-27T14:21:50Z")
> [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](#): > > Now, maybe you could guess at which one would turn on the AC, but if the AC doesn’t work, you would have no way of knowing if it was because you didn’t press the correct button or if the AC was just non-functional. Dude there’s only 7 buttons and a dial. Two of them are clearly fan controls. Three of them and the dial are obviously an increase/decrease of something. Probably temperature. Of the remaining two buttons, one is something to do with airflow and one is the Letter O … which is presumably the orgasm control. I guess how long it would take to figure out depends which of those last two buttons you try first. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/257 "2016-06-27T14:32:22Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Dude there’s only 7 buttons and a dial. Two of them are clearly fan controls. Three of them and the dial are obviously an increase/decrease of something. Probably temperature. Of the remaining two buttons, one is something to do with airflow and one is the Letter O … which is presumably the orgasm control. > > I guess how long it would take to figure out depends which of those last two buttons you try first. I’d want to give the orgasm control a good long test to confirm whether ir not it works. And having a fan blow me at the same time seems like a pretty good idea. ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/258 "2016-06-27T15:02:02Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Dude there’s only 7 buttons and a dial. Two of them are clearly fan controls. Three of them and the dial are obviously an increase/decrease of something. Probably temperature. Of the remaining two buttons, one is something to do with airflow and one is the Letter O … which is presumably the orgasm control. > > I guess how long it would take to figure out depends which of those last two buttons you try first. So, what you’re saying is, you don’t know how to work it, either. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/259 "2016-06-27T15:44:53Z")
No, but I have ten fingers and a healthy self-esteem. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/260 "2016-06-27T15:51:41Z")
I once had a BMW 2002 that was apparently made for the German market, because all the controls were in German … if the key wasn’t in the “fart” position … welllllllll … nvm … just saying … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=14)