# Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [May 23, 2016, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489 "2016-05-23T21:38:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 149

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2961 "2017-07-17T15:40:04Z")

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Yeah, I found a diary sitting next to the fax machine the other day. I rifled the pages and caught phrases like “preventative steps to maintain mental control”, and "mapping of stresses ", but it had no paragraph breaks so I didn’t read it.

My coworkers were wondering why I was standing there with a huge, leather-bound tome in my hands muttering “Concern troll…”

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**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\
**Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2962 "2017-07-17T15:46:33Z")

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> [@Ludovic](#):
>
> I thought it was a newly-signed up troll without having even opened the thread!

It’s not uncommon to find that if you cut the first sentence out of such posts and google it, you will find it posted on multiple message boards. Not the case with this one, but I’ve done it plenty of times and found trolls/spammers.

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**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\
**Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2963 "2017-07-17T15:52:23Z")

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> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> It’s not uncommon to find that if you cut the first sentence out of such posts and google it, you will find it posted on multiple message boards. Not the case with this one, but I’ve done it plenty of times and found trolls/spammers.

Give it a day or two. Gotta start somewhere.

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**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\
**Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2964 "2017-07-17T15:56:38Z")

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Last night I was glad to see that the OP had plenty of looks but no takers. This morning, alas, folks are jumping for the bait.

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2965 "2017-07-17T18:20:03Z")

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I just posted a couple of glaring questions (that the OP’s story left unanswered) in that thread.

What I almost said is "The victim wouldn’t know these details. Only the narrator would … the narrator _of a poorly-written story."_

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**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\
**Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2966 "2017-07-17T19:03:49Z")

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> [@ioioio](#):
>
> Upon reflection, I judge it to be a nicely crafted little story (other than the lack of white space). It was even posted in the correct forum. A newbie would’ve put it in General Questions.
> 
> The story evokes emotional support for the O.P., but leaves plenty of room for blaming the victim.
> 
> The ending resorts to the overused appeal of naive bewilderment: Am I wrong to feel angry? Do I have the right to feel betrayed? Help me, I have absolutely no idea what to do.
> 
> I’m also deducting a few points for user name (Vanilla Ice).
> 
> Overall, I give it a B-.

That was perfect. HS English teacher?  
Saved me from having to read the OP.

Extra credit for “lack of white space”.

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**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\
**Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2967 "2017-07-17T19:52:07Z")

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> [@Darren\_Garrison](#):
>
> Best way to ensure your personal diary is never read? No paragraphs.

Not only would I never read the author’s personal diary, my ethical standards are so high that to ensure the poster’s personal privacy, I didn’t even read his/her stupid post. It would be great if everyone aspired to the same moral standards! The mods could help by clicking on that thing that prevents a poster from posting here ever again, thus assuring that the poster’s future valuable ruminations will remain private.

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**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2017, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2968 "2017-07-18T05:10:17Z")

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**Marci Al** is back with a sock account. Must think his/her banning was a mistake.

> [@If your IP number has been banned](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ip-number-has-been-banned/570396/154):
>
> This is the second time I got banned this year. I think it’s me and not my IP.

[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20352656&postcount=123](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20352656&postcount=123)

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**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2017, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2969 "2017-07-18T05:45:25Z")

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That’s awesome, astounding, amusing. So many words that start with “a”. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2017, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2970 "2017-07-18T08:19:20Z")

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Also, aborted, since it’s not there any more.

(But, based on the quote, also absurd.)

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**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2017, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2971 "2017-07-18T08:26:02Z")

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Yeah, I figured it would be cornfielded.

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**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2017, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2972 "2017-07-18T14:17:55Z")

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> [@cochrane](#):
>
> Yeah, I figured it would be cornfielded.

Agricultured?

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**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2017, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2973 "2017-07-18T14:42:45Z")

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Oh man - my pun got cornfielded too. ☹ I told **MA** 2.0 that a mod would be along to help him out. Get it? I slay me. 😛

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**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2974 "2017-07-19T03:50:25Z")

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[Is this that crazy guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=831399) who went on and on and on about how men commit suicide because women won’t sleep with them?

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**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2975 "2017-07-19T04:59:41Z")

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He sounds more educated, although equally batshit, if I remember correctly. Perhaps this is the version ON his meds?

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**Author:** ![BeepKillBeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BeepKillBeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeepKillBeep)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2976 "2017-07-19T05:06:19Z")

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> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> [Is this that crazy guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=831399) who went on and on and on about how men commit suicide because women won’t sleep with them?

There was a guy who thought men commit suicide because women won’t sleep with them?

You know, the worst thing about the internet is that I get to see how much dumb and crazy there is out in the world.

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**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2977 "2017-07-19T07:01:37Z")

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> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> [Is this that crazy guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=831399) who went on and on and on about how men commit suicide because women won’t sleep with them?

He’s here to educate us and wake us up, according to the extremely lengthy OP. So pay attention, for God’s sake. I didn’t, and now I’m going to live out the rest of my life not knowing what the fuck he said.

I notice that posters who are self-declared educators and self-appointed alarm clocks providing enlightenment and wake-up services are almost always new joins who never seem to last long. I blame the stress. It’s not easy being a sort of latter-day Old Testament prophet and purveyor of wisdom about women and stuff. Learn while you can, my friend. These are life-changing opportunities that come along only about once a week or so, from prophets who are usually only with us a few precious days before vanishing back into the Beyond.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2978 "2017-07-19T08:14:48Z")

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> [@Sunny\_Daze](#):
>
> He sounds more educated, although equally batshit, if I remember correctly. Perhaps this is the version ON his meds?

Yes, exactly. The ideas are the same, but it’s “better” written. I hate to use that word, because it’s so poorly written. But the older stuff was, believe it or not, even _more_ poorly written.

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**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2979 "2017-07-19T09:27:08Z")

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> [@BeepKillBeep](#):
>
> There was a guy who thought men commit suicide because women won’t sleep with them?

I would not be surprised if that was a thing. That doesn’t sound stupid. Humans denied a basic psychological need - pair bonding and closeness to others - over extended periods of time could very well see this as a catalyst for suicide.

(That said, it would not surprise me if this guy put it in far less correct and more insane terms.)

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**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/2980 "2017-07-19T12:20:24Z")

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Mr Shine is currently committing suicide (via personal attacks) in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=831274) thread.

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