# Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2016, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489 "2016-05-23T21:38:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 320
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6384 "2018-01-28T15:10:15Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > And apologies to **running coach** , spam-hunter extraordinaire. I got you mixed up with **Starving Artist**. Newbie mistake, my fault. Hmmm…sounds like Morgensterns sock. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6385 "2018-01-28T15:11:52Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Hmmm…sounds like Morgensterns sock. Hmmm… sounds like something a Morgensterns sock would say… ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6386 "2018-01-28T15:14:08Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > No, no, I never thought that **Mr. Mace** was a moron. Coward, yes. Useless prat, yes. But never a moron. > > Still, I’d like to see that list. Okay, we’re set on John not being a moron. I think he can deal with prat without it bothering him. That might be a bit of a stretch too though. And the coward thing. I’ve never seen him post anything that he didn’t sign. Let me check the M column (on the moron list) since we agree Mace isn’t on the moron list. The only moron in the M column is a 5 star moron (5 moron events in the past year) and it’s **madsirderp**. There is your first moron from the moron list, free of charge. Be nice to John and I’ll give you more names. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6387 "2018-01-28T15:14:11Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > And apologies to **running coach** , spam-hunter extraordinaire. I got you mixed up with **Starving Artist**. Newbie mistake, my fault. “I got Apples mixed up with Camels. Newbie mistake, my fault.” (the computers vs. the cigarettes) ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6388 "2018-01-28T15:16:37Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > “I got Apples mixed up with Camels. Newbie mistake, my fault.” > > (the computers vs. the cigarettes) Well, if you did, that was kinda stupid. But at least you fessed up and apologized. So good on you, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6389 "2018-01-28T15:26:33Z")
I guess you think that was some sort of _riposte_. I guess that will have to do until a proper one comes along. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6390 "2018-01-28T15:28:40Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > I guess you think that was some sort of _riposte_. I guess that will have to do until a proper one comes along. At least I didn’t have to use parentheses to get my zinger across. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6391 "2018-01-28T15:37:06Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > At least I didn’t have to use parentheses to get my zinger across. OK, that cracked me up, right there. But keep trying; I’m sure you’ll come up with one that stings eventually. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6392 "2018-01-28T15:38:33Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > “I got Apples mixed up with Camels. Newbie mistake, my fault.” > > (the computers vs. the cigarettes) I’m glad you clarified that. I was afraid you were going to tell that Adam and Eve riding a camel joke. I don’t think we can stand to hear that joke again. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6393 "2018-01-28T15:43:23Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I’m glad you clarified that. I was afraid you were going to tell that Adam and Eve riding a camel joke. I don’t think we can stand to hear that joke again. Of course not. I might be mean sometimes, but I’m not cruel. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6394 "2018-01-28T15:48:45Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I’m glad you clarified that. I was afraid you were going to tell that Adam and Eve riding a camel joke. I don’t think we can stand to hear that joke again. “Husband, what did you name this beast?” “It is an Ohio.” “An Ohio?” “Yes, Eve. It has holes at both ends and is HI in the middle.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6395 "2018-01-28T15:56:17Z")
No but since you insist, I’ll offer a better Adam and Eve story. Gather up here. It was a sunny day in the beautiful Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve awoke about 10:30 from a peaceful night’s sleep to see God standing before them with a bag in his hand. “Hello God,” Adam said, “what’s in the bag?” “I have a few things I forgot to use when I made mankind,” God answered. “Who would like to pee standing up,” asked God? Adam raised his hand and grabbed it. Adam could now pee standing up. “Well, I guess this is yours then Eve,” God said. God hands her multiple organisms. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6396 "2018-01-28T15:57:22Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > No but since you insist, I’ll offer a better Adam and Eve story. Gather up here. > > It was a sunny day in the beautiful Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve awoke about 10:30 from a peaceful night’s sleep to see God standing before them with a bag in his hand. > “Hello God,” Adam said, “what’s in the bag?” > “I have a few things I forgot to use when I made mankind,” God answered. > “Who would like to pee standing up,” asked God? > Adam raised his hand and grabbed it. Adam could now pee standing up. > “Well, I guess this is yours then Eve,” God said. > God hands her multiple organisms. What kind of organisms? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6397 "2018-01-28T15:58:33Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > What kind of organisms? 😉 Fucking autocorrect fucked up a good joke. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6398 "2018-01-28T17:05:09Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > No but since you insist, I’ll offer a better Adam and Eve story. Gather up here. > > It was a sunny day in the beautiful Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve awoke about 10:30 from a peaceful night’s sleep to see God standing before them with a bag in his hand. > “Hello God,” Adam said, “what’s in the bag?” > “I have a few things I forgot to use when I made mankind,” God answered. > “Who would like to pee standing up,” asked God? > Adam raised his hand and grabbed it. Adam could now pee standing up. > “Well, I guess this is yours then Eve,” God said. > God hands her multiple organisms. I like it. (Also, a mod could have fixed that for you. But it does lend a surrealist quality that I appreciate.) ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6399 "2018-01-28T18:18:26Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Fucking autocorrect fucked up a good joke. I liked it too. The twist was unexpected - made it funnier. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6400 "2018-01-28T18:25:01Z")
I like to think that God gave her a basket full of fluffy kittens. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6401 "2018-01-28T18:44:12Z")
And Adam did then grabbeth one of the kittens, and The Lord said “oh he who grab kittens, may you be given the leadershipth that thouth deserveth.” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6402 "2018-01-28T18:48:05Z")
And lo, did Adam grow annoyed at the number of pets his wife did keep. They numbered 343 cats, 42 ocelots, 19 cows, 23… \ And Adam did cry in frustration, “Where shall I sleep, when the cats and dogs doth proclaim our bed their own? What about my chair, which is covered in beasts, their hair and their scratch marks? Is there no place for me in this household?” And Eve did say, “Taketh this sack of waste and carry it forth to the middens. There you will find the comfort and resting place thou desireth.” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6403 "2018-01-28T18:59:27Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > And lo, did Adam grow annoyed at the number of pets his wife did keep. They numbered 343 cats, 42 ocelots, 19 cows, 23… \ > > And Adam did cry in frustration, “Where shall I sleep, when the cats and dogs doth proclaim our bed their own? What about my chair, which is covered in beasts, their hair and their scratch marks? Is there no place for me in this household?” > > And Eve did say, “Taketh this sack of waste and carry it forth to the middens. There you will find the comfort and resting place thou desireth.” I wouldst indeed purchase a hardcover edition of _ **The Crazy Cat Lady Bible…** _ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=319) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=321)