# Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2016, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489 "2016-05-23T21:38:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 332
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6624 "2018-02-09T16:19:42Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Okay. Great question asked here. We might have our next contestant. > [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=20777764#post20777764](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=20777764#post20777764) Why? That’s an excellent response to [one of Cecil’s columns.](https://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2620/could-a-human-swing-through-the-jungle-on-vines/) You’re really reaching on this stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6625 "2018-02-09T16:20:55Z")
n/m ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6626 "2018-02-09T16:22:08Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Wonder why he didn’t link it? Because he didn’t know he was supposed to? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6627 "2018-02-09T16:54:22Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Because he didn’t know he was supposed to? At least he gave the complete title of the column. Providing a link is mentioned in the forum rules, but a new poster might not check those, and in any case it’s kind of buried in the other rules. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6628 "2018-02-09T16:58:17Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Why? That’s an excellent response to [one of Cecil’s columns.](https://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2620/could-a-human-swing-through-the-jungle-on-vines/) > > You’re really reaching on this stuff. Really. YMMV but my personal definition of a troll is someone who posts something provocative and outrageous just for the lulz. Belief in the post is optional. Kind of like the Buck Henry sketch on SNL ages ago where he’s a radio talk show host and nobody calls. He keeps escalating his statements until he winds up with, “Puppies. I _love_ dead puppies. In fact, I want Federal bond to pay for Communists to come to your house and kill your puppy.” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6629 "2018-02-09T17:44:56Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > YMMV but my personal definition of a troll is someone who posts something provocative and outrageous just for the lulz. Belief in the post is optional. That’s basically the definition TPTB use as well. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6630 "2018-02-09T18:45:16Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > At least he gave the complete title of the column. > > Providing a link is mentioned in the forum rules, but a new poster might not check those, and in any case it’s kind of buried in the other rules. Yup. And it’s not just newbies. I see a lot of posters who have been here for several years who don’t know to post the fucking link. That’s not being a troll, though. Just clueless. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6631 "2018-02-10T00:31:49Z")
[Here’s one of those](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=848921) _just asking questions_ and _just sayin’_ trolls. From another thread: > [@The Democratic party is changing on the issue of mistreatment of women; the Republican party is not](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-democratic-party-is-changing-on-the-issue-of-mistreatment-of-women-the-republican-party-is-not/808442/16): > > (I am a registered independent and loathe political parties): Uh huh. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6632 "2018-02-10T01:07:21Z")
> [@White Privilage](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-privilage/808511/26): > > As a side note, I talked to a couple of non white males today at work (in fact, just now) and they tell me that anyone, regardless of race, who is willing to work for what they want in this country, can achieve it. You just have to make a choice between working for it or not. You can work hard, or you can shoot the breeze with your co-workers and then spend the rest of your workday posting on the Internet. Your choice. > [@White Privilage](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-privilage/808511/17): > > YI have been turned down flat for 2 jobs and was told straight up it is because I’m a white male. Or maybe word got around about your work habits. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6633 "2018-02-10T01:33:41Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Or maybe word got around about your work habits. I donno–[he seems pretty busy](https://youtu.be/uRA2HksQdu8?t=2091). ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6634 "2018-02-10T03:09:23Z")
I am happy to announce that **Machinaforce** is back with yet more revelations. This time [we are treated to ruminations on “what is truth?”](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20778314&postcount=1). What if you give up everything to get it, and still don’t have it, then what? Huh? Then what do ya got? Nuthin’, that’s what. What if you strip everything you know, like with a really strong paint stripper, the kind you have to wear rubber gloves and goggles when you use? Do you get the Truth then? (The answer, for those interested in these philosophical excursions, is: No, but you might end up with some really nice antique furniture.) > [@](#): > > It just annoys me how certain people can be of what they believe You can say that again! I’ve always believed that certain people should not be of what they believe. At least until they’re old enough to be _ **in truth** _ of what they believe, truthfully. Or not, of course, naturally. Or at least they should be old enough to have a driver’s license and valid credit card entitling them to rent a car in all fifty states. Having thus dealt a hammer-blow to the problem of Truth that has been a conundrum in philosophy since the time of Aristotle, I think **Machinaforce** should now apply his massive talents to the next epistemological milestone in philosophy, the Colbertian problem of Truthiness. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6635 "2018-02-10T05:02:29Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > What if you strip everything you know, like with a really strong paint stripper, the kind you have to wear rubber gloves and goggles when you use? Do you get the Truth then? (The answer, for those interested in these philosophical excursions, is: No, but you might end up with some really nice antique furniture.) … or you might not. I should mention that the more common possibility is that after donning said gloves and goggles and stripping the living daylights out of that “deal of a lifetime” painted abomination that you bought from that toothless guy at the country antiques store, and that you thought was a genuine 1900 Stickley rocker, it will turn out to be a piece of shit you can get at Walmart today, without the arm broken off, for half the price. This is called “Truth”. The point is that in his ruminations **Machinaforce** is not entirely wrong: truth can be a profound concept that sears the very soul of your being. It sometimes motivates philosophers to drive long distances just to punch someone in the face. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6636 "2018-02-10T12:50:04Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > It sometimes motivates philosophers to drive long distances just to punch someone in the face. You owe me one keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6637 "2018-02-10T12:56:53Z")
On a completely unrelated but fitting last(?) post. […And billfish678 was his name.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20778335&postcount=5) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6638 "2018-02-10T14:53:19Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I think **Machinaforce** should now apply his massive talents to the next epistemological milestone in philosophy, the Colbertian problem of Truthiness. Mechinaforce is a teenager filled with the usual teenage angst and ego. He is deeply uncomfortable with the idea of truth because when he looks at himself, he doesn’t like what he sees. Which really, is just a part of growing up and figuring out yourself and your place in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6639 "2018-02-10T16:18:55Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > On a completely unrelated but fitting last(?) post. > > […And billfish678 was his name.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20778335&postcount=5) Of course, now we need to keep an eye out for a new member named billfish679. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6640 "2018-02-10T16:26:15Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Mechinaforce is a teenager filled with the usual teenage angst and ego. He is deeply uncomfortable with the idea of truth because when he looks at himself, he doesn’t like what he sees. Which really, is just a part of growing up and figuring out yourself and your place in the world. I think it’s more of a post-college mid 20’s angst. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6641 "2018-02-10T16:31:38Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Mechinaforce is a teenager filled with the usual teenage angst and ego. He is deeply uncomfortable with the idea of truth because when he looks at himself, he doesn’t like what he sees. Which really, is just a part of growing up and figuring out yourself and your place in the world. Excellent post. I agree completely. We need more younger posters here. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6642 "2018-02-10T18:04:27Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Excellent post. I agree completely. We need more younger posters here. Agree, but I do wish they didn’t talk so much. Some of them [(\*\*Luciano700 \*\*comes to mind)](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?searchid=14806960) flail around, trying out any and all philosophies and online personas. And many come here from forums where you apparently get Internet Points by “winning” a discussion, so they insult, cajole, and say outlandish things to get a rise. Sigh… Sometimes most of their life experience is from the internet, in these other forums. In [a thread devoted to himself](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=20773102), **Luci’700** said “…in a lot of other places I ruin my reputation and and my safety too early and quick. And yeah I been travelling the forum world for the last 8 years.” (note: half his lifetime…) Someone here used the term “Attention Trolling”, and it fits. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/6643 "2018-02-10T18:12:16Z")
Yeah, you ought not call him “ **Luci’700** ”. Too confusing. “ **luci** ” is reserved shorthand for “ **elucidator** ”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=331) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=333)