# Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2016, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489 "2016-05-23T21:38:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/101 "2016-05-30T02:55:26Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > **Spamforbrains** is making quite the showing [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=19366913#post19366913) thread regarding 9/11. She also thinks that when that kid feel into the gorilla enclosure in Cincinnati they should have traded bananas to the gorilla for the boy instead of shooting him. :dubious: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19366779&postcount=2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19366779&postcount=2) ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/102 "2016-05-30T14:07:38Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I’m such a hipster, I never even heard of the 9/11 attacks until days later. Did I mention what a hipster I am? You heard about it days later? Lame. I don’t even know how much later it was when I heard because I don’t have any clocks or calendars. ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/103 "2016-05-30T14:47:04Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > > [@John\_Mace](#): > > > > I’m such a hipster, I never even heard of the 9/11 attacks until days later. Did I mention what a hipster I am? > > You heard about it days later? Lame. I don’t even know how much later it was when I heard because I don’t have any clocks or calendars. What, there was an attack on 9/11? ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/104 "2016-05-30T22:56:42Z")
[Meet **Pylesos** , who’s going apeshit over that recent monkey business at the Cincinatti Zoo.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19367547&postcount=58) Those bastards murdered the gorilla his dreams, so he hates every human from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z, especially those darn kids. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/105 "2016-05-31T01:43:40Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > She also thinks that when that kid feel into the gorilla enclosure in Cincinnati they should have traded bananas to the gorilla for the boy instead of shooting him. :dubious: > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19366779&postcount=2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19366779&postcount=2) And here’s her latest idiocies from that thread: > [@Gorilla shot to save young boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gorilla-shot-to-save-young-boy/756046/152): > > Exactly. This isn’t exactly a wild animal-he’s lived with people for 17 years. He’s also not some hungry tiger, he’s pretty close to being human and his keepers probably communicate quite well with him. I’m sure they could have gotten the kid safely away in some way if they’d tried. > > … > > Where exactly do you think they are going to get another gorilla? There aren’t many left. Personally, I think any gorilla’s life is worth far more than any child’s life simply based on their relative rarity. Kids are a dime a dozen. Gorillas, not. Especially with the second comment, I have to agree that **shitforbrains** would be more appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/106 "2016-05-31T03:36:52Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > And here’s her latest idiocies from that thread: > > Especially with the second comment, I have to agree that **shitforbrains** would be more appropriate. She must be known as _that_ lady in her neighborhood. You know, the crazy animal lady with about 400 cats and 250 parrots whose house is on the verge of being condemned. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/107 "2016-05-31T04:30:29Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > And here’s her latest idiocies from that thread: > > Especially with the second comment, I have to agree that **shitforbrains** would be more appropriate. **Spammy** is the ultimate back seat driver-- always knowing better than the people who are actually at the wheel, but never being in a role of responsibility for his or her actions. The ignorance, it is strong in that one! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/108 "2016-05-31T21:25:57Z")
> [@Azeotrope](#): > > [Meet **Pylesos** , who’s going apeshit over that recent monkey business at the Cincinatti Zoo.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19367547&postcount=58) Those bastards murdered the gorilla his dreams, so he hates every human from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z, especially those darn kids. And he’s only been here two days. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/109 "2016-05-31T23:00:22Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I’m such a hipster, I never even heard of the 9/11 attacks until days later. Did I mention what a hipster I am? > [@TroutMan](#): > > You heard about it days later? Lame. I don’t even know how much later it was when I heard because I don’t have any clocks or calendars. > [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](#): > > What, there was an attack on 9/11? 😕 Huh? How does THAT work? It’s still only May. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/110 "2016-06-01T00:05:39Z")
I called 911, they said they’re fine and not under attack. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/111 "2016-06-01T00:38:27Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I’m such a hipster, I never even heard of the 9/11 attacks until days later. Did I mention what a hipster I am? I knew about 9/11 \*hours \*before it was cool to know about 9/11. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/112 "2016-06-01T05:02:56Z")
> [@splatterpunk](#): > > I knew about 9/11 \*hours \*before it was cool to know about 9/11. I knew about 9/11 on 9/5 because I was part of the government conspiracy. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/113 "2016-06-01T09:01:01Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > I knew about 9/11 on 9/5 because I was part of the government conspiracy. I was also in on a government conspiracy. No, not the same one you were in. A much more secret government conspiracy - you wouldn’t have heard of it. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/114 "2016-06-01T14:21:17Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I was also in on a government conspiracy. No, not the same one you were in. A much more secret government conspiracy - you wouldn’t have heard of it. Damn you Dick Cheney :mad::mad::mad: ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/115 "2016-06-01T14:23:01Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I was also in on a government conspiracy. No, not the same one you were in. A much more secret government conspiracy - you wouldn’t have heard of it. I knew the Israelis were behind it!! ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/116 "2016-06-01T19:29:18Z")
Oh noes! I’ve lost everything! [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=794540](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=794540) It’s a tragedy. Her boyfriend doesn’t want to hang out with her this weekend! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/117 "2016-06-01T19:40:21Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Oh noes! I’ve lost everything! > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=794540](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=794540) > > It’s a tragedy. Her boyfriend doesn’t want to hang out with her this weekend! ALERT THE INTERNET! When you “don’t know where to turn,” surely there is no better course than to reach out to a bunch of anonymous people who have no idea who you are rather than your own good friends. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/118 "2016-06-01T20:06:57Z")
I guess I can’t understand why so many people respond to our recurring troll with serious advice. Maybe it’s like giving advice to Captain America about his relationship with Iron Man? Or do they think the troll is a real person? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/119 "2016-06-01T20:42:45Z")
For me, it’s the 1% chance that it’s a non-bot/non-autistic/non-jerkwad person who is actually upset … for instance, that her BF doesn’t want to be her BFF (oh, noes indeed). I always take a poster at face value _(what? they could be real…)_ and try to help _(c’mom, stop laughing…)_ until the proof of trollery is overwhelming\* (ok, I’ll admit, it usually piles up to critical mass after their third post…).\* ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/120 "2016-06-01T20:46:22Z")
As Sir William Blackstone put it, “It is better that ten guilty trolls are engaged than that one innocent is ignored.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489.md?page=7)