# On a scale of 1-10 how embarassing is this? I feel bad for this dude **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 19, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623 "2006-01-19T05:37:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/21 "2006-01-19T14:40:16Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > I was once on a date with a girl that went on late, and we ended up eating breakfast at Waffle House at 3 AM after a concert. I didn’t have any more cash on me and intended to pay with my credit or debit cards, but I didn’t realize that Waffle House doesn’t accept the plastic. I had to leave my date there, as collateral of sorts, as I ran a couple blocks trying to find an ATM. She didn’t hold it against me, but I was sure embarrassed. Oh, I feel you on that one. I remember the time I was just going to take my five-year-old daughter to Waffle House, saw the sign on the door that said they only took cash, and had to turn around and leave. It felt like everyone in the place was staring at me through those big-ass windows. We had to go find an ATM and then chose a different Waffle House to have our dinner. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/22 "2006-01-19T19:20:10Z")
This brings back a long-buried memory, of a comic strip in a Chinatown bookstore once as a child where two friends had gone out to dinner and began fighting over the check. (Which is SOP for Chinese people, paying for a meal is a way of showing off status.) “I’ve got it…” “No, no, it’s my turn to pay…” and so on, until finally, both simultaneously smile and wave magnaminously, “OK, OK, I’ll get it next time.” They stare at each other. “Er… I didn’t bring any money.” “What! Neither did I!” The last panel is of the two of them washing dishes in the kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/23 "2006-01-19T19:33:13Z")
> [@cazzle](#): > > Am I really the most cynical person here tonight? Yes. Although I concur that it could be a possibility. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/24 "2006-01-19T19:53:33Z")
> [@Dead Cat](#): > > Whenever I’m close to my limit and try to pay by card, I always get my disclaimers in to the cashier first! And have enough cash on me to pay if necessary. Not been refused yet, though. I do this, too. Usually with a comment like “Let’s see which one of these still has money on it!” This tends to work best while Xmas shopping. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Godfrey\_Daniels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Godfrey\_Daniels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Godfrey_Daniels)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/25 "2006-01-19T20:47:29Z")
I’ve never had this happen because I’ve always been extra careful with my cards, but if it was me, I would be mortified. Your Dad is a class act. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/26 "2006-01-19T21:25:15Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > I’ve never had a credit card declined, but it’s something I live in fear of for some reason. Every time I use a credit card, I’m holding my breath until the receipt prints out. I do too. I have a decent household income, and never carry a balance on my credit card, but I am always terrified the machine will deem me unworthy! Of course, I am also terrified the anti-theft signal will beep every time I pass through one. As for card trouble stories, I have one similar to Lou’s. I was dating this girl. I don’t think we had been on a true first date yet, but we were already kind of a couple and had been out with friends many times. So anyway, we went to dinner and I paid on my credit card. No problems. But after dinner, we wanted to see a movie. I knew I could use the credit card at the box office, but this was back when you had to pay cash at the concession. So I wanted to get some cash before we hit the theater. I had plenty of cash in my account as I had deposited like $800 earlier in the week to bring my balance to $1000 (in other words, I knew if my deposit had not cleared, I could still buy my girl some milk duds.) I went to like 5 or 6 ATMS. Each one told me that I couldn’t withdraw funds. Oddly, I was not embarrassed because I never even dreamed it was an insufficient fund issue. I thought the network was down. My date was giggling and I realized that I was getting declined everywhere I went. She seemed to admire my tenacity. We went to see the show sans concessions. Later I found out that an idiot at the bank recorded my deposit as a withdrawal and I was $600 in the hole. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/27 "2006-01-19T22:36:03Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > I was once on a date with a girl that went on late, and we ended up eating breakfast at Waffle House at 3 AM after a concert. I didn’t have any more cash on me and intended to pay with my credit or debit cards, but I didn’t realize that Waffle House doesn’t accept the plastic. I had to leave my date there, as collateral of sorts, as I ran a couple blocks trying to find an ATM. She didn’t hold it against me, but I was sure embarrassed. I had a buddy who did that. Except he just ran out the door without telling anyone. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/28 "2006-01-19T22:48:21Z")
Well, it’s fairly embarrasing, but it happens. Not too surprising, actually, right after Christmas season and the cards haven’t been paid off yet. Besides, it’s not like anyone said “wankle-rotary engine”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/29 "2006-01-19T22:50:09Z")
Well Done, **Mr. START**. You can be proud of your Dad. He’s a class act. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/30 "2006-01-20T00:43:33Z")
> [@cazzle](#): > > [shame] > If “an old friend… from way back” invited me to dinner, offered to pay and then had two credit cards declined, I would do what your Dad did and pay for the meals, and I would offer a loan of money to help out, but I would also think that there was a good chance I was being scammed (in a small way). > [/shame] > > Consider this: If an old friend called up and asked if you could buy him a meal and lend him some money, would you be as generous with him as you would with the guy in the OP? I suspect not as many people would rush to help, or give so much. > > I would lend him money anyway because my personal lending policy is: Don’t give what you can’t afford to get back. If I ever lend money to people, I’m always aware there’s a chance that I might not get it back, and I weigh that up before I commit. I’m all for helping, but I think you’ve got to be practical about it too. Some people take loans… others take gifts. Don’t give it if you can’t afford to go without it. > > Am I really the most cynical person here tonight? My Grandfather always used to say, “If you loan somebody 20 bucks and then never see him again, it was probably worth it.” 😉 I also think START’s Dad has much class. Satch ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/31 "2006-01-20T01:00:22Z")
That happened to me once, on a brand new card that I’d never used. Turns out, I’d forgotten to activate it. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/32 "2006-01-20T01:19:53Z")
Add me to the chorus saying it’s embarassing, but it happens. And your dad was a class act. I once charged a lot of business travel on one card. I had sent in the check, so in my mind it was paid. I forgot, of course, that it takes a while for the check to go through the mail, through processing, etc. Yup. It was way over the limit and declined. It was embarassing, but I lived (and I had other cards). Of course, then there was the time I tried to pay for my meal with my library card (it was the same color as the card I meant to use). :smack: ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/33 "2006-01-20T01:27:49Z")
Living in Vegas, where **everybody** takes plastic, I got used to not carrying cash. My second day on the job after I moved back to SoCal, I found out that the Jack-in-the-Box around the corner from my job didn’t accept plastic… right in front of the VP of Sales and the CoO of my company. Both, having spent time in Vegas, understood and believed my problem. Once, on a “first date” with a young woman I had **just** met three hours previous, my credit/debit card was declined at Denny’s; that’s about an eight on the embarressment scale. I went to the bank down the street and got enough out to cover the bill, but it was still a wtf moment. While I understand **Mr. START** ’s offer, in today’s world, I’d tend to believe computer error over cheapskate/f-up. Just my $.02, DESK ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/34 "2006-01-20T02:52:14Z")
Hey I did think of the possibility that Daddy was getting scammed but not for to long because for one thing this guy would have had to have been a great actor to pull off the look he had on his face the second and third times the card came back declined and it wouldn’t be a very lucrative scam. All that trouble for 50 dollars and a free meal…I don’t know if my Dad gave the guy 50 bucks or any money at all for that matter ,I’m just saying for the sake of argument. I think my Dad handled it well until he offered the money because the guy was already humiliated and I was thinking “Ouch” when my Dad said that he could help him out if he needed it. What made it even worse was that my Dad completely meant well with that remark I think it would have been easier to take if my Dad was just being a jerk because at least then the guy could have been like “This guy is an a$$ anyway who cares what he thinks”. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/35 "2006-01-20T03:38:05Z")
Your dad did the right thing, **START**. FWIW, when I was a cashier, this happened more than you might think, and most of the time, I’d offer a “Well, there’s probably just a glitch in the system” to save face. Most people appreciated it. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/36 "2006-01-20T07:05:41Z")
This happens more often than people think; I bartend and my phrase is always, “I’m so sorry, it’s not taking this card today!” That way it sounds like I’m blaming the credit card machine, not the customer with potentially insufficient funds, and the evil word “declined” is never said out loud. But either way it’s usually pretty uncomfortable, particularly if more than one card gets denied. Your dad’s friend got a 10 on the Embarrassment-O-Meter. What’s worse is when people get all pissed off about it, like I’m making it up or something. “THERE’S MONEY ON THAT CARD! THIS IS BULLSHIT!” etc., etc., like I’m personally responsible. Systems go down sometimes. That’s the risk you take when you live solely on plastic, and there’s not a whole lot I can do about it. ---
**Author:** ![Lost\_in\_the\_Supermarket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Lost\_in\_the\_Supermarket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lost_in_the_Supermarket)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/37 "2006-01-20T08:42:33Z")
As another former cashier I’m pretty immune to the “declined” embarrassment, but I think I have an 11. My dad gave my sister and I $200 gift certificates that could be used at various department stores. I wasn’t really expecting it because we’re not very close, but I was meeting an out of town friend and my sister had a first date later that night so we went to buy some clothes. After 2 hours of trying things on and narrowing things down we went to check out and her gift certificate was declined. She paid in cash, and then I tried mine and it was also declined. I didn’t have enough cash or a credit card on me :smack: I had to have them hold it and come back the next day to pay for it, and I got the same cashier. She remembered me and asked me if I asked my father about the card. I did and to this day he’s still really evasive about it. I didn’t even know a gift certificate could be revoked. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/38 "2006-01-20T08:50:26Z")
> [@Lost in the Supermarket](#): > > I did and to this day he’s still really evasive about it. I didn’t even know a gift certificate could be revoked. Me neither. I don’t see how it could be. All the ones I know of have to be pre-paid. Maybe they were paid for on credit and the charges were reversed? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/39 "2006-01-20T11:41:27Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Me neither. I don’t see how it could be. All the ones I know of have to be pre-paid. Maybe they were paid for on credit and the charges were reversed? Perhaps (if it was a gift card) the card had already been used, thus draining the card. Or maybe his dad paid for it with a check, then later the check bounced? ---
**Author:** ![Lost\_in\_the\_Supermarket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Lost\_in\_the\_Supermarket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lost_in_the_Supermarket)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623/40 "2006-01-21T04:02:02Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Me neither. I don’t see how it could be. All the ones I know of have to be pre-paid. Maybe they were paid for on credit and the charges were reversed? The store said that it wasn’t stolen and they don’t accept checks as payment for gift certificates, so it had to be a credit card charge that was reversed. The card still says it has a balance of $200, but it’s locked. :rolleyes: I don’t think your dad was being scammed **START** , but I do think he’s a nice guy for handling things so well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-a-scale-of-1-10-how-embarassing-is-this-i-feel-bad-for-this-dude/340623.md?page=1)