# On Bush, Lies, and Nostalgia: The Little Lie That Couldn't Quite! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428 "2003-12-17T00:27:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/1 "2003-12-17T00:27:07Z")
Sometimes, in the rush of the holidays, and the hurly-burly of the news, you lose track of the special moments in our history, those moments that skirt the line between the merely political and the entirely surreal. While perusing the news of Florida (a common practice amongst Minnesotans, searching for random people to hate, people we will never meet and will not have to apologize to…but I digress…) I came upon this little nugget. It brought to mind another time, only a year ago! when wholesale mendacity was in full flower, and lies spewed from every solemn face. Everyone has their favorites: Saddam’s nukes, his ballistic missiles, his direct control of OBL’s Islamic fanatics…. But I like the smaller touches, the piquant chunks of utter hogwash, little grace notes in the flatulent symphony of Bushivik lies. Those of you who share my superb taste have already guessed: yes, I’m talking about Saddam’s Dreaded Intercontinental Drone Aircraft of Doom! (Those of you who were expecting something about a Death Ray, of any era whatsoever, are excused. We’ll just wait for a moment until you’re gone….) Now some lies make you a bit sorry inside, that man could stoop so low, some rouse you to patriotic wrath. Others bring a warm moment, the happy knowledge that the Forces of Darkness are just as chucklewitted as they appear. Just because they’re evil doesn’t mean they’re smart. [http://www.floridatoday.com/!NEWSROOM/localstoryN1216NELSON.htm](http://www.floridatoday.com/!NEWSROOM/localstoryN1216NELSON.htm) “U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson said Monday the Bush administration last year told him and other senators that Iraq not only had weapons of mass destruction, but they had the means to deliver them to East Coast cities. Nelson, D-Tallahassee, said about 75 senators got that news during a classified briefing before last October’s congressional vote authorizing the use of force to remove Saddam Hussein from power. Nelson voted in favor of using military force. Nelson said he couldn’t reveal who in the administration gave the briefing. The White House directed questions about the matter to the Department of Defense. Defense officials had no comment on Nelson’s claim. Nelson said the senators were told Iraq had both biological and chemical weapons, notably anthrax, and it could deliver them to cities along the Eastern seaboard via unmanned aerial vehicles, commonly known as drones. “They have not found anything that resembles an UAV that has that capability,” Nelson said. “ To say the least. Note with appropriate glee “directed questions to the Dept of Defense” who “had no comment”. Not disputed, not corrected. Evaded, presumably with a straight face. Our little lie tried to return to its nest, only to be spurned! Alas! But it brought an outpouring of nostalgia. Watching that lie hatch like a fledgling mendacity, under the careful broodhen eyes of Mssr.s Cheney and Wolfowitz. How sad that is career was shortened by its entire unreality, its inability to adapt to a world where the half-truth tops the food chain, and the hapless little nugget of bullshit is swept away, as if it never were. But it was! It had its bright moment in the sun. Let us pause to remember a Golden Ugly: How it found it’s way into the arsenal of that genius of gravitas, Sec.State Colin Powell, that patriot who chose not to surrender his life for his Leader, but the last scrap of his integrity. > **[Full text of Colin Powell's speech - part 2](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/feb/05/iraq.usa3)** > > By 1998, UN experts agreed that the Iraqis had perfected drying techniques for their biological weapons programmes. Now, Iraq has incorporated this drying expertise into these mobile production facilities. “UAVs are well suited for dispensing chemical and biological weapons. There is ample evidence that Iraq has dedicated much effort to developing and testing spray devices that could be adapted for UAVs. And of the little that Saddam Hussein told us about UAVs, he has not told the truth. One of these lies is graphically and indisputably demonstrated by intelligence we collected on June 27, last year.” I believe, at this point, he offered the indisputable documentary confirmation of an artist’s rendering of what such an object very well might look like, should it actually exist. [http://www.theolympian.com/home/news/20030810/frontpage/72455.shtml](http://www.theolympian.com/home/news/20030810/frontpage/72455.shtml) “Powell showed video of an Iraqi F-1 Mirage jet spraying “simulated anthrax.” He said four such spray tanks were unaccounted for, and Iraq was building small unmanned aircraft “well suited for dispensing chemical and biological weapons.” According to U.N. inspectors’ reports, the video predated the 1991 Persian Gulf War, when the Mirage was said to have been destroyed, and three of the four spray tanks were destroyed in the 1990s. No small drones or other planes with chemical-biological capability have been reported found in Iraq since the invasion. Iraq also gave inspectors details on its drone program, but the U.S. bombing intervened before U.N. teams could follow up.” A bright moment for our plucky little lie, but the heights yet beckoned, glory still called! [http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/2002-10-24-oped-bamford\_x.htm](http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/2002-10-24-oped-bamford_x.htm) “Bush mentioned for the first time that the Iraqi regime was developing unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs) — drones — that “could be used to disperse chemical or biological weapons across broad areas.” He warned, “We’re concerned that Iraq is exploring ways of using these UAVs for missions targeting the United States.” What a moment for our special little lie: to have the privilege of dropping from the lips of our very own Fearless Misleader! This is the goal of every young fib: to grow big and strong, to be in a position to further death and destruction in a cruel and empty display of power. Even a lie of modest birth, or one like this, for whom no one claims parentage, can climb the heights! Wanna see a picture? [http://www.differentstrings.info/archives/002849.html](http://www.differentstrings.info/archives/002849.html) There’s the dreaded thing itself. Tremble, mortals, before the cunning technology of Saddam! If only duct tape had been added to embargoed materials, this advance in their arsenal might have been forestalled! But its time passed, oh! so quickly! It vanished in the faceless crowd of Bushivik bullpucky, one hard to distinguish from the next as they gush in a torrent from the fonts of falsity. Our little friend was simply overwhelmed, buried under tons of spurious anthrax, obscured by vast stockpiles of non-existent nerve gases. So I took this nostalgic moment to rescue it from obscurity, if only for a moment, if only for us, the Cecilian Cognoscenti, to savor its mendacity for a special moment, and remember the innocent times, when so many of our Board Brethren swallowed every drop of horseshit shoveled onto our plates, and only a scorned few dared cry out: “I say its bullshit and I say to Hell with it!” Never stop, never give up, never say die. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/2 "2003-12-17T00:38:15Z")
You are supposed forget all that stuff, ya America-hatin’ bastard. Look at the funny bearded guy in the hole! Look at him! Good boy. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/3 "2003-12-17T00:39:59Z")
I thought Jerry Garcia was dead! This is really cool news, but WTF is he doing in Iraq? ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/4 "2003-12-17T01:07:32Z")
uh-oh **elucidator** , that one came directly from the CIA. [http://www.fas.org/irp/cia/product/iraq-wmd.html](http://www.fas.org/irp/cia/product/iraq-wmd.html) I’m still looking for those caveats by the way, the ones that say “not to be mistaken for actual intelligence.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/5 "2003-12-17T01:20:35Z")
You know, it does bring a tear to the eye to think back on the days when Bush’s lying might have been described as the dabbling of a neophyte. How simple do the old classics seem today? Ah remember “there are 60 existing lines of viable stem cells,” or “I first got to know Ken Lay in 1994,” or “I filed all the proper forms with the SEC on time, they must have lost them,” or even the elegantly simple “I have been very candid about my past.” Thanks **elucidator**. Good times, good times. ---
**Author:** ![MrTuffPaws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MrTuffPaws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrTuffPaws)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/6 "2003-12-17T02:01:32Z")
Yes, but I see your drone and raise you three ships of death: [http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2003/02/24/iraqi-ships.html](http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2003/02/24/iraqi-ships.html) ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/7 "2003-12-17T02:55:56Z")
I would think that WMDs would be far easier to hide than their delivery systems. A functioning drone would have to be tested. In the open. Presumably within sight of prying satellites. Sure, I’m sure there was evidence for these drones. Yet I find it difficult to believe that it was anything but piss-poor evidence. Clearly, balanced assessments were thrown out in favor of W’s pre-existing agenda. And let’s remember: the distortions occurred in October 2002, prior to the time that our allies displayed their cold feet. There would have been no loss of face at that time if Congress had not signed off on the administration’s war plans. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/8 "2003-12-17T03:00:53Z")
Thanks for the tip, **Tuffy**. This _Rockall_ looks like a winner. Not likely to cite it, but damn sure gonna check it out. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/9 "2003-12-17T04:02:55Z")
**’luce** , honey, I’m gonna leave Airman and move in with you. 😉 [sub]Not really, but it’s a nice thought[/sub] Robin ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/10 "2003-12-17T04:08:38Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by elucidator_ > > [http://www.differentstrings.info/archives/002849.html](http://www.differentstrings.info/archives/002849.html) > > There’s the dreaded thing itself. Tremble, mortals, before the cunning technology of Saddam! If only duct tape had been added to embargoed materials, this advance in their arsenal might have been forestalled! Well, I for one think its long past time we investigated Radio Shack for international arms dealing. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/11 "2003-12-17T04:11:10Z")
Remember what a rank amateur Clinton was. Remember when a presidential lie consised of trying to dissemble about a blow job. what a childish attempt that seems like now. It’s almost cute in its bumbling transparency; kind of like when my four year old tells me she didn’t eat the last Krispy Kreme while wiping the crumbs from her mouth. Rove would have convinced us that Monica Lewisnky never existed, that Linda Tripp was al Qaeda, that the come on the dress was Ted Kennedy’s and we would have believed every word of it. Clinton was a fucking ham and egger. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/12 "2003-12-17T04:39:09Z")
Hell, he could have convinced us the spooge on the dress was Linda Tripp’s. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/13 "2003-12-17T05:13:56Z")
That “unmanned drone” stuff cracked me up. If Iraq had drones capable of flying outside their _country_ I woulda been surprised… ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/14 "2003-12-17T05:28:53Z")
What is unfortunate is that all this, for many voters, will be lost in the face of “We have Saddam”. “So they were wrong about some technology stuff … we got Saddam! USA! USA! USA!” etc. That is, assuming this “We found Saddam” doesn’t turn out like “We saved Jessica Lynch”… ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/15 "2003-12-17T05:29:57Z")
Please tell me someone else heard and can find a text verion of Bush’s comments on Saddam’s capture? He alluded to a 9/11 rememberance to discussing Saddam in the same breath, Clearly linking the two (better when heard, but even pretty obvious in text). I was too busy yelling at my radio to pay attention to what particular press conference it was. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/16 "2003-12-17T07:16:41Z")
How many times does the President have to win this war before you quit bringing up his little faux pas about why we went to Iraq? ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/17 "2003-12-17T08:22:36Z")
Once would be a start… ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/18 "2003-12-17T08:44:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsRobyn \* > **’luce** , honey, I’m gonna leave Airman and move in with you. 😉 > > [sub]Not really, but it’s a nice thought[/sub] You should, it’d be a big improvement. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/19 "2003-12-17T11:42:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tee \* > \*\*uh-oh **elucidator** , that one came directly from the CIA. > > [http://www.fas.org/irp/cia/product/iraq-wmd.html](http://www.fas.org/irp/cia/product/iraq-wmd.html) > > I’m still looking for those caveats by the way, the ones that say “not to be mistaken for actual intelligence.” 😉 \*\* To be fair, the CIA never mentions the capacity to strike the US with either set of UAVs. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428/20 "2003-12-17T11:47:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NurseCarmen \* > \*\*Please tell me someone else heard and can find a text verion of Bush’s comments on Saddam’s capture? He alluded to a 9/11 rememberance to discussing Saddam in the same breath, Clearly linking the two (better when heard, but even pretty obvious in text). I was too busy yelling at my radio to pay attention to what particular press conference it was. \*\* Is this it? [http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/12/20031215-3.html](http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/12/20031215-3.html) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-bush-lies-and-nostalgia-the-little-lie-that-couldnt-quite/219428.md?page=2)