# on coming out of various closets **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 16, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606 "2006-03-16T16:03:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2006, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/61 "2006-03-23T07:20:16Z")
Mine are fairly different, sort of different and downright odd. First off, I don’t drink. You’d be surprised how much that threatens some people. They get really uncomfortable. Matter of fact, I’ve gotten pretty defensive about it. Now, the thing is, I’m not any kind of recovered alchoholic, not does it have anything to do with religion. Yes, my parents both were alchoholics, matter of fact it killed Mom and didn’t help Dad any. My reason is simply that drinking tends to make me very quiet and somewhat crabby. NOT how I want to feel at a party! Sober, I’ll dance, sing and make a total fool of myself. Drunk - nothing. No fun at all. So I don’t drink. The second thing is that I’m a church-going Christian. That worries people too. I’m about the least judgemental person I know but the minute I mention the “C” word, people think I’m gonna start calling down hellfire on 'em. No. I might assess you on how well we get along, if we laugh together, if we have simillar taste in music and movies, but anything else is none of my business. Nor do I expect you to embrace my beliefs. Third is that I’m a fan of a particular performer. To the point of mid-range obsession. That’s the sort of thing I should have outgrown by eighteen or so, but thanks to the 'Net and some wonderful folks on the fanboards, I’m right back in it again. It didn’t help that the secretatry at work, now my good friend, is a fan of the same person. Heck, so are several other co- workers now, thanks to my stereo! Guess I’m having my mid-life thingie. It’s not like I’m going to drop everything and run off in hot pursuit. I do have a very good grasp on reality. I’m not spending tons of money either, (no new CD’s since Christmas and only one $.49 record from Value Village). My problem is the eye-rolling, condecending, “Him? Still?!” that I get from people. Hey, I enjoy being part of the fan community, I respect some of the values the guy has (a thirty year marriage, for one) and the music still rocks! Anyway, every time I meet someone or we get new staff or whatever, I go through the whole "So, what kind of music do you like) thing and it takes a lot of explanation. Not coming out, exactly, but still making a potentally embarressing admission. ---
**Author:** ![Spacekat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Spacekat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spacekat)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/62 "2006-03-23T14:35:05Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Dad: “Oh. Oh, OK! That’s good, then! I was worried he’d be all alone, you see” What a good daddy! That’s the sweetest, most practical thing I’ve heard in a very long time. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/63 "2006-03-23T16:04:10Z")
It can be so embarrassing. Coworkers see part of an email to a friend. Folks on the street see me going into a certain type of establishment. A girl at the sushi bar is flirting with me. But then she sees the slogan on my t-shirt and she realizes I’m one of _them_. I’m a Gamer. With strong Military History tendencies. And a sci-fi/fantasy geek to boot. I have to tell a person that I need to be back home by 10:00 on Friday so I don’t miss Batlestar Galactica. When someone asks me what my hobbies are, I’ll say, “reading.” If they push, I might admit to “Painting.” But then I have to tell them that no, not pictures. Miniature figures. Of elves and dwarves and dragons. They always respond with a little, “Oh” and slowly edge away. It’s bad enough now that I look like Gary Burghof and Jason Alexanders love child. But it was really humiliating when I was young and hoping to meet girls. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/64 "2006-03-23T16:32:02Z")
I’ve come out of the proverbial closet about my family. Telling people that your 4 siblings have/had a horrendous disease and are dead or nearly dead has a way of just pushing people away from you because they can’t handle a world that isn’t full of warm fuzzy kodak moments. Strangely enough, the hardest thing to tell people, not related to Death and all it’s Jocularity, is to the question, " What do you do all day when the kids are in school? Yanno, besides clean the house, prepare well balanced nourishing meals and visualized 10 more ways to give my husband fantastic blowjobs? " pardon me but :dubious: :rolleyes: :dubious: :rolleyes: When I tell them I am a writer, the hardest part is the next question, “What do you write?” “Romance.” :::::::::::::::::::crickets chirp::::::::::::::: I might has well just tell them I write scripts for clown porn. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/65 "2006-03-23T18:24:26Z")
> [@](#): > > **chaoticbear** said: > “Your total is $4.66. I’m a homo.”) Once a long time ago when I was at the job previous to the job I’m at now, a newly hired person was appointed to be my company on the all-night monitor of the das Bliknenlites shift. She came in to work her first day on the job and proudly announced to me ‘My name is Blahblah. I’m bisexual.’ I couldn’t help but laugh. Not because she was bisexual, but because she just … threw it right out there as her introduction to the coworker she was meeting for the first time in the same breat as her name. I don’t remember what I said after that, but we worked well together until I left that job to move somewhere else for a while. I kinda ‘came out’ to my family (religious people) as an atheist. It wasn’t a regular ‘come out’ kinda thing though. I just had to beat it into their heads that I was Not. Going. to. Church. Anymore. Sorry, no grand story. Just that thing from **chaoticbear** sparked that funny little memory. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/66 "2006-03-23T22:02:56Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > It can be so embarrassing. Coworkers see part of an email to a friend. Folks on the street see me going into a certain type of establishment. A girl at the sushi bar is flirting with me. But then she sees the slogan on my t-shirt and she realizes I’m one of _them_. I’m a Gamer. With strong Military History tendencies. And a sci-fi/fantasy geek to boot. I have to tell a person that I need to be back home by 10:00 on Friday so I don’t miss Batlestar Galactica. When someone asks me what my hobbies are, I’ll say, “reading.” If they push, I might admit to “Painting.” But then I have to tell them that no, not pictures. Miniature figures. Of elves and dwarves and dragons. They always respond with a little, “Oh” and slowly edge away. It’s bad enough now that I look like Gary Burghof and Jason Alexanders love child. But it was really humiliating when I was young and hoping to meet girls. Where’s the land of the Caloosa, you say? I could try getting lost over there next time I want to have a real conversation, you know. Like about whether having a two-headed dragon behind you gives a bigger bonus to Intimidation than a single-headed dragon… apologies, excuse me, returning this thread to the proper path, please do carry on ---
**Author:** ![zelie\_zelerton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/59ef9b/32.png) [@zelie\_zelerton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zelie_zelerton)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/67 "2006-03-23T23:58:33Z")
I have to say i’m stunned at the number of people for whom stating a religious preference was a big deal. It just makes me appreciate so much more that i grew up in a tolerant area as far as religion goes. It would never have occurred to me that spirituality was an aspect of life to ‘confess’ or out yourself about. Kudos to those who have. i’m vaguely out about my sexuality. To be honest i never think my private life is anybody’s business but my own so i don’t tend to bring it up that often. But if people ask then i’m honest. i find that most people either don’t care or just make a joke about it. Again, i realise i am lucky in living in a highly diverse place. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/68 "2006-03-23T23:58:49Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Dad: “Oh. Oh, OK! That’s good, then! I was worried he’d be all alone, you see” That’s awesome. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/69 "2006-03-24T05:36:40Z")
I had to come out as an atheist to my family because of planning my wedding. I was able to hedge for a while because my fiancee wants an outdoor ceremony (no church necessary) but I eventually had to tell people that I’m not interested in having a preacher marry us, because I don’t want religion having anything to do with my marriage. It’s not like it was a real surprise to anyone who knows me, but having it out in the open might have some interesting fallout in years to come. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/70 "2006-03-24T18:47:18Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Where’s the land of the Caloosa, you say? I could try getting lost over there next time I want to have a real conversation, you know. Like about whether having a two-headed dragon behind you gives a bigger bonus to Intimidation than a single-headed dragon… > apologies, excuse me, returning this thread to the proper path, please do carry on Southwest Florida. Fort Myers to be precise. The original inhabitants were the Caloosa indians. As I write this, the Caloosahatchee (Hatchee=river) is less than a half mile from me. Back to the closet! Uh, sort of… ---
**Author:** ![Lilairen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lilairen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lilairen)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606/71 "2006-03-26T03:13:30Z")
Coming out stories … I should note that I haven’t “come out” much; mostly I’ve just been living my life and people are able to figure out what’s up. I did, however, come out to my father as poly formally, 'cause I felt that I’d been actively excluding him from that part of my life and I didn’t like that. So we sat down on the patio to chat one summer afternoon, and I explained the structure of what was intended at the time to be a long-term relationship system (it didn’t work out in the long run, as it happened, but that’s irrelevant), and explained what was up. His first statement was, “Well. Three of these people have college degrees. When are you going back to school?” Afterwards, he wanted to be sure things were okay with my fiance (who is now my husband) and that he was okay and not bothered by the situation. And after that, he figured it was my life and if I was going to do weird things with it, it wasn’t his call to make. Enh, not terribly coherent. Spent the evening having dinner with lover’s partner’s mother as part of _that_ coming-out experience, and I’m wiped. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-coming-out-of-various-closets/348606.md?page=3)