# On Cuddling **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 19, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484 "2009-02-19T00:38:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![PopeJewish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@PopeJewish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PopeJewish)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/21 "2009-02-19T02:53:02Z")
wow, this thread took off while I was teaching some classes (during the first of which I fucked up terribly and forgot to explain what the kids were supposed to be doing, thanks to no sleep of course). Now, for the record this “relationship” isn’t a long-term thing, just sorta an off and on thing. But I believe there are basic cuddlers and non-cuddlers. I’m fine with cuddling for awhile after sex. She let me poke and prod her, if she wants a cuddle afterwards I’m ok with that. But then it becomes sleepy time and I want to sleep during sleepytime, otherwise I’d call it drape-yourself-over-me-so-I-can-barely-move time, and that’s a different time altogether. as for the king-size bed thing… ah I wish. I used to have a big bed, back when I lived in a big house, in a big country. Now I live in Japan, in a tiny apartment, with a tiny futon. I, like Seodora, have two futons though, and damnit I’ve made girls use it before. I also have to chime in on **MOIDALIZE** ’s side here, we don’t have any control over our little guys during the night (or the day, for that matter). So I’m just gonna go ahead an appologize in advance for any somhumpulation or whatever you might want to call it that may or may not go on without my knowledge ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/22 "2009-02-19T03:32:54Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > To be fair, we don’t really have any say over when the boner decides to show up at night. Well, I wouldn’t care if it was _on your side of the bed_! Only it isn’t, it’s poking into my spine! ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Star_to_the_Right)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/23 "2009-02-19T03:36:27Z")
> [@PopeJewish](#): > > … But I believe there are basic cuddlers and non-cuddlers. I’m fine with cuddling for awhile after sex. She let me poke and prod her, if she wants a cuddle afterwards I’m ok with that. But then it becomes sleepy time and I want to sleep during sleepytime… Can’t a person be both? I love to cuddle. It’s one of my favorite things to do. It makes me feel safe and warm and content. But when it’s time to actually go to sleep, I need my own space, my own pillow, my side of the bed. I mean I’ve never minded waking up with his(currently hypothetical “his”) arm or leg draped over me or whatever. But I am by no means a “cuddly sleeper”. It’s the best of both worlds! ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/24 "2009-02-19T03:39:11Z")
> [@seodoa](#): > > Wait, when siblings do this it is creepy? Is there some strange Japanese custom we should all be made aware of? ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/25 "2009-02-19T03:51:16Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > To be fair, we don’t really have any say over when the boner decides to show up at night. I understand that but don’t try to use me as a ‘pleasure toy’ in the middle of the night while I’m sleeping. If I wake up and you’re rubbing your midnight boner up against me, things are not going to end well. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/26 "2009-02-19T03:54:44Z")
> [@Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](#): > > Can’t a person be both? > > I love to cuddle. It’s one of my favorite things to do. It makes me feel safe and warm and content. > > But when it’s time to actually go to sleep, I need my own space, my own pillow, my side of the bed. I mean I’ve never minded waking up with his(currently hypothetical “his”) arm or leg draped over me or whatever. But I am by no means a “cuddly sleeper”. It’s the best of both worlds! This. Cuddling is great, fantastic, I love it. When I need to get to sleep and she’s preventing it, then we need to stop and don’t fucking pout about it. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/27 "2009-02-19T04:16:04Z")
Since when have you been sleeping with my dogs??? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/28 "2009-02-19T04:22:21Z")
Whoever or whatever is in my bed is not safe from being pretzeled. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/29 "2009-02-19T04:25:53Z")
> [@sinjin](#): > > Huh, we’ve been doing it for 33 years. I used to cuddle him for warmth, but now that I’m post-meno he cuddles me for warmth. And the bunny train is still running, w00t. You kids with your silly ideas. Oh, and I suppose you “talk” about your “feelings” and use “compassion” to help you “understand” the other person’s issues, as well? You wacky humans. I tell you, life’s much more efficient as a robot. ---
**Author:** ![PopeJewish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@PopeJewish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PopeJewish)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/30 "2009-02-19T04:27:03Z")
> [@Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](#): > > Can’t a person be both? > > I love to cuddle. It’s one of my favorite things to do. It makes me feel safe and warm and content. > > But when it’s time to actually go to sleep, I need my own space, my own pillow, my side of the bed. I mean I’ve never minded waking up with his(currently hypothetical “his”) arm or leg draped over me or whatever. But I am by no means a “cuddly sleeper”. It’s the best of both worlds! Like I said, there’s a time for cuddling. I’m ok with cuddling, I like cuddling (to an extent), it’s fine. But there’s cuddle time and sleepy time. When I’ve gone from cuddle time to “ok I need to wake up in a few hours and go to work” it becomes sleepy time and you (the royal “you”, not you specifically, unless you wanna give it a shot :p) need to get the fuck off me. Like I said, an arm or whatever is fine, I’ll drape an arm or whatever if you like, but I need my damn space and I need my damn sleep. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/31 "2009-02-19T04:27:39Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > If I turned my back on her, she liked to squirm close and get practically on top of me, gently breathing ice cold air on my back and putting her frozen corpse feet on me until I boxed her out with my butt. Well, there’s your problem! You fight zombies with a blunt instrument, not your butt! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/32 "2009-02-19T05:02:21Z")
Women who like to cuddle up against a fellow are welcome to rent me. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/33 "2009-02-19T05:15:14Z")
Some nights I’m really cuddly, other nights I’m like PLEASE GET OFF MY ARM NOW KTHX. Really no way to predict. It also partly depends on the person (beyond the obvious), and on my mood. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/34 "2009-02-19T05:20:34Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Well, there’s your problem! You fight zombies with a blunt instrument, not your butt! Wouldn’t that depend on what you had for dinner, though? ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/35 "2009-02-19T05:22:59Z")
Sounds like some of you need to learn the ole “hug and roll” technique. Just try not to break her arm while you’re at it. Count me in the “love to cuddle, but when it’s time to sleep get the frick away from me” camp. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/36 "2009-02-19T05:30:56Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > I understand that but don’t try to use me as a ‘pleasure toy’ in the middle of the night while I’m sleeping. If I wake up and you’re rubbing your midnight boner up against me, things are not going to end well. If I am awake and you are awake, my midnight boner is there to rub against you. If you don’t like it, put on the nightgown that your mother gave you. No, not that one, the one that makes your butt look big. If I am awake and you are asleep, my boner will stay on my side of the bed, if I feel something warm against my boner, there may be a rub or two to find out if you are awake. If I am asleep and you are asleep, I don’t keep my boner on a leash. He may try do do whatever he has in mind. If you really want the boner to go away, whisper, “Jeff Gordon, Jeff Gordon,” and I will lose the midnight boner forever and ever. SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/37 "2009-02-19T05:35:19Z")
Please don’t assume that all women are like this. I like to cuddle for a few, but then, don’t touch me. I can’t even fall asleep with someone else touching me. And I’m fine with your boner up against me if we happen to spoon in the night, but for god’s sake, you don’t have to leave bruises! ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/38 "2009-02-19T05:38:04Z")
> [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > I’m a total cuddler! When her-head-on-my-chest, me as big spoon, and her as big spoon start to get uncomfortable, I’ll do the back-to-back cuddle. Probably because I only have a gal over once a week or so, though. I’m a total chick when it comes to cuddling, though. Sorry. Yeah, cuddling is kind of like a concerto; you don’t want to come thundering in all the time, and when things get too intense, just turn away and maintain slight contact; back to back with a hand on her thigh, or cheek resting on your arm. Having someone drape themselves all over you, on the other hand, is just obnoxious and obtrusive. I think I miss cuddling almost as much as sex. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/39 "2009-02-19T05:51:45Z")
One of my neighbours went to the doctor out of concern over a bruise on his thigh that would not go away. Turns out that he was cuddling in his sleep, and his wife was kneeing him off. At first I though he was spinning a tale, but his wife later repeated it to me, so I guess the fellow must be one hell of a deep sleeper to not have been woken. ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484/40 "2009-02-19T06:05:49Z")
The problem is anyone sharing my bed would feel my boner against them - no matter which way I was facing 🆒 Try this: lie on your side. If s/he starts spooning you, roll over. They might like sleep cuddling, but not being sleep crushed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-cuddling/486484.md?page=3)