# On Dating Roommates. . . **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 5, 2008, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592 "2008-10-05T22:22:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Superfreaknduper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Superfreaknduper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfreaknduper)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/1 "2008-10-05T22:22:54Z")
Your thoughts, opinions, horror stories and successes? not talking moving in with someone your dating, the opposite. Dating someone you recently moved in with. Let the stories begin. . . ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/2 "2008-10-05T22:25:21Z")
I met my college BF, who I was with for four years (and who’s still a friend, 35 years later) when we were roommates. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/3 "2008-10-05T22:25:43Z")
So your roommate’s hot, eh? ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/4 "2008-10-05T22:37:38Z")
May as well sleep with him/her as soon as possible. Get that out of the way. Then, you can decide if it is just a sex thing or there is more there. ---
**Author:** ![Superfreaknduper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Superfreaknduper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfreaknduper)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/5 "2008-10-05T22:37:58Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > So your roommate’s hot, eh? I thought I could squirm through without being caught, but alas! But yea, she is. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/6 "2008-10-05T22:41:22Z")
Do you have anywhere else to live for a bit if you two break up before the lease is up? ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/7 "2008-10-05T22:42:00Z")
I used to live with three other people. Two of them were dating (the other just fucking anything with two legs). She had just broken up with a long-time boyfriend; he had just divorced his wife after coming back from a tour of duty in Iraq. Both were in their early 20s. It seemed like a bad idea to me, but they seemed happy, and after a year, they moved out together. There was talk of engagement. I ran into her about two months later, and she gave me a tail of woe about how they broke up, like, 15 minutes after moving in. Now, I’m not saying stuff like this never works. I wouldn’t put these two up as shining examples of emotional well-being. Living with a couple (and the other guy) was like living in a soap opera. Just keep in mind the other people living with you, if any. Awkward. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/8 "2008-10-05T23:46:35Z")
Would you date a coworker? Same principle. Don’t shit where you eat. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/9 "2008-10-06T08:12:37Z")
Date 'em, maybe, but don’t marry 'em no matter what. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/10 "2008-10-06T08:20:09Z")
i think you have to consider how easily you would be able to move homes if the brown stuff hits the fan. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/11 "2008-10-06T13:32:39Z")
I assiduously avoided it - until I didn’t anymore. We’re expecting in February. All for it. ---
**Author:** ![Oswald\_Bastable](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oswald_bastable/32/214_2.png) [@Oswald\_Bastable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oswald_Bastable)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/12 "2008-10-06T13:52:14Z")
If you’re attracted to someone (and if it’s mutual) I don’t think the fact that they also live in the same domicile as you should necessarily be a problem (unless she’s your sister). I’m very happily married to someone I met and got it on with in a flat share situation. The worst that can happen is that things go bad and you have to find somewhere else to live but, hey, on the other hand maybe you’ll be blissfully happy for all eternity…😃 Nothing ventured, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/13 "2008-10-06T16:27:27Z")
Being roommates with someone you _want_ to date, but aren’t (especially if they’re dating other people) sounds like a recipe for misery to me. The question calls to my mind the fucked-upped-ness in these old threads: [I Pit My Roommate-With-Benefits, or; Please Give Me Relationship Advice](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=435778) [I pit my roommate, redux](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=452269) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/14 "2008-10-06T17:14:52Z")
I get the feeling we’ll be seeing the OP and his HRM on Judge Judy sometime soon. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/15 "2008-10-06T17:22:46Z")
My friends Cheryl and Jeff started dating and then moved in together. After a while, their friend Chip moved in with them. Cheryl and Jeff got married, and kept Chip as a roommate for a while. Later, they got a place of their own. When they split up, Cheryl moved in with Chip, just as friends. Wow. C&C will celebrate their 10th anniversary next month. ---
**Author:** ![Collaborator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Collaborator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Collaborator)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/16 "2008-10-06T23:23:56Z")
Could be Amazing, Great, Good, Ok, Bleh, Hmmm, Bad, or “WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO!!!” I would figure out an escape plan and then go for it. If it works out, awesome, if it doesn’t, then it’s not necessarily a death sentence, and you shouldn’t let things like that prevent you from doing what you want to do. Don’t let the prospect of “It will end, and it will end BADLY, and it will end BADLY AND DETRIMENTAL TO YOU SPECIFICALLY” scare you off from the dozens of other outcomes. Of the two links Thudlow posted, the first one ended up quasi-positively so far (even if I disagree with the guy staying around for that one, he seems somewhat content). There’s lots to gain and not much to lose as far as i’m concerned. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-dating-roommates/466592/17 "2008-10-07T00:00:18Z")
Have done it twice. One where we were open about the mutual attraction and honest when the relationship was over. He’s still someone I remember with great fondness. The other was not so good. There is a deeply primitive part of me that still wants to slap him silly for being such a manipulative selfish little jerk. If you have to lie to make it work, it isn’t going to work.