# On Farts and Farting **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 5, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514 "2012-01-05T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/1 "2012-01-05T15:32:46Z")
Some of them feel as if they are prisoners tunneling out of a German POW camp, constantly digging around obstacles. Some feel as if they are children strolling out the porch door on a breezy summer day. I often wonder if there is a visible bubble because some feel that way, as if they are filling one until the pressure gets too high and it bursts. Could I reach back there and pop them with a pin? I wonder about these things. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/2 "2012-01-05T15:38:21Z")
Did you ever think about maybe getting a hobby that would get your mind off your farts? Just askin’… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/3 "2012-01-05T15:39:52Z")
Just be wary of the wet ones… ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/4 "2012-01-05T17:15:36Z")
Reach down with a Bic lighter and [enjoy the show](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3HEGh328KY). ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/5 "2012-01-05T18:13:05Z")
I like the ones that feel like a string of pearls. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/6 "2012-01-05T18:15:50Z")
When you have a bad case of diarrhea, don’t trust a fart. ---
**Author:** ![Minnie\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/7 "2012-01-05T21:10:19Z")
I woke up Monday morning at 4 am to the worst bout of the stomach flu I have had in quite a while. By 11 am, I was cleaned out. I spent the rest of the day in and out of sweats and chills. Finally around 6 pm, I ate half a can of soup and a cup of applesauce followed by a cup of tea. I woke up feeling better on Tuesday and had a bit of applesauce and a piece of toast. I went to work and did ok until lunch. I wasn’t super hungry, but I felt I needed to eat, so I got some chicken noodle soup from Wawa. I had that and a ginger ale and a cinnamon graham cracker. The next 10 hours were filled with the worst smelling gas I have ever had. I wasn’t particularly painful or anything, but it could have peeled paint. At first, I was a little scared, so anytime I felt a little pressure I ran to the bathroom just in case and had it out in there. It turns out that my colon was still empty aside from the nastiest gas ever. Thankfully, I was the only one in my lab, but I sprayed plenty of febreze just in case someone came in. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/8 "2012-01-05T21:52:04Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > When you have a bad case of diarrhea, don’t trust a fart. In my household, we call that “gambling and losing”. Seriously. One of my kids picked up the word “shart” from one of her friends, so I asked her to use that phrase instead, since it doesn’t sound quite so vulgar. Now my kids can’t even hear the word “gamble” without breaking into fits of uncontrollable giggling. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/9 "2012-01-05T22:17:22Z")
Hmm… Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over – like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode? \* (With aologies to Langston Hughes)\* ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/10 "2012-01-09T21:22:42Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > When you have a bad case of diarrhea, don’t trust a fart. Or if you’re over 60… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Pops1963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9de053/32.png) [@Pops1963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pops1963)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/11 "2012-01-10T02:23:43Z")
Apparently woke up my wife the other night with a gas attack. She said it was so bad she got up and left the room for an hour. I was unaware of all this because I was sleeping soundly. When she told me about it I was really kind of proud inside though. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/12 "2012-01-10T02:50:34Z")
Farts - or perhaps I should say farting - can be understood as an example of [speech-act theory](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speech_act), the act being, in this case, nearly indistinguishable from the speech (recalling the folk incantation “Speak to me, O toothless wonder”). Farts also illustrate vividly what McLuhan meant by “the medium is the message”: the message is not so much the discrete act (or entity) of flatus as the _process_ of flatulation, indeed, even the very mechanism of the flatus’s creation. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/13 "2012-01-10T02:57:21Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I like the ones that feel like a string of pearls. Geologists call that [beaded drainage](http://bernhardedmaier.reacore.net/site/en/what.pictures.article/200). ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/14 "2012-01-10T03:04:37Z")
Just don’t fart in bed then fluff the covers. Boyfriend thinks that’s hilarious. I get him back by farting when he wants to spoon… muhahahaha ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/15 "2012-01-10T05:10:45Z")
IIRC, Tralfamadorians communicate by tap dancing and farting. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/16 "2012-01-10T05:17:11Z")
“I strongly advise against intentionally farting whilst moving heavy weights. Sometimes – especially under those circumstances – farts have a solid center.” From the author of Starting Strength, [Mark Rippetoe](http://startingstrength.com/resources/forum/archive/index.php/t-8261.html). ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/17 "2012-01-10T07:47:26Z")
Like in the [Dairy Queen commercial](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eibkUoRdOM), I blow bubbles with kittens in them, only from the opposite end. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-farts-and-farting/608514/18 "2012-01-10T15:18:00Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Just don’t fart in bed then fluff the covers. Boyfriend thinks that’s hilarious. I get him back by farting when he wants to spoon… muhahahaha Ahh, yes- the Dutch Oven. I occasionally amuse myself by ripping one and pushing my wife’s head under the covers. Fortunately, she still laughs at my immaturity.