# On introversion and socialising

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-introversion-and-socialising/665575>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 7, 2013, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-introversion-and-socialising/665575 "2013-08-07T11:20:19Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 190

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**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-introversion-and-socialising/665575/190 "2013-09-24T00:13:00Z")

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> [@CLee](#):
>
> Thanks I’m fine is an adequate response to a clerk in a store. Thanks I’m fine is a rather terse reply for your concerned host. A slightly longer explanation would probably persuade even the pushiest host that you are, in fact, enjoying yourself. Is it really too much trouble to express appreciation for the hospitality?

Okay I’m going to pull a straight-up example from this board of something like an introvert goes through sometimes.

> [@No thank you, I do not want to dance. Which of these words is giving you trouble?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-thank-you-i-do-not-want-to-dance-which-of-these-words-is-giving-you-trouble/667546/1):
>
> Dear fellow party/wedding/nightclub attendee,
> 
> I do not like to dance. I do not wish to dance. I have made this perfectly clear.
> 
> So why, in the name of Christ, do you feel it is your duty to hustle me (get it?) onto the dance floor? You start by making eye contact with me from the floor, then motioning with your hand as if summoning a hot dog vendor. I smile and wave you off. You become more animated, incorporating join-the-fun gestures into your dance moves, enlisting others to join your efforts. Again I decline from afar, still a good sport. But here you come. You dance on over to me, clapping your hands above your head to the beat and stepping lively.
> 
> Next thing I know you’re within body odor distance, reaching for my hand. What’s this? You are attempting to physically yank me into the fold, waving off my adamant protests because you, presumably, know what I want more than I. A genuine tug-o-war ensues and I prevail only because I have strength and body weight that you lack. I am thereafter labeled a pooper of parties and looked upon with equal parts pity and scorn.
> 
> Why do so many think it is OK to behave in this manner?  
> mmm

So. While this one doesn’t explicitly say he said anything out loud, I presume he said some niceties such as “no thanks, I’m not a dancer”. [There are other examples in that thread of people absolutely saying things out loud.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16619194) This is what we introverts are talking about with the party thing. As said before: we have no problem telling you once or twice during the night that we’re doing great, the food is good, and we like your music, but it’s cool, we like it here on the couch. It’s when we get into this extra bit with the whole ignoring what we say thing that it becomes a problem.

And seriously…you gotta lay off the whole “barely concealed contempt” thing - because it sure makes it sound like that’s describing you right now. Doesn’t help your argument.

The answer to “and wonder aloud why introverts bother attending parties” is that we like attending parties and being around people. Just not people that treat our mindset as something wrong.

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