# On the death of a friend **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2021, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939 "2021-05-26T09:06:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/1 "2021-05-26T09:06:13Z")
Friends, Please join me in celebrating the life of my friend, “Ade.” “Ade,” short for “Adrienne,” was an old friend. I’ve known her since we were both 15. We went through high school together, and she was part of our group at high school. By that, I mean that we were a loose group of misfits that didn’t fit anywhere else in the high school hierarchy–we weren’t “sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads,” as Grace would say in _Ferris Bueller’s Day Off_. We were just us, and as long as we had us, we were happy. Ade was one of the centres of our group. You didn’t cross her–she had a disarming wit that put more than a few wannabes (and at least one teacher) to shame. If you were a friend of hers, you were golden; if you weren’t, watch out. Thankfully, I was a friend, and got to know one of the most amazing best friends I’ve ever had in my life. We stayed in touch long after high school, as we both did with our old high school group of friends, and Facebook made it easier when it came along. Ade became the proud mother to a couple of boys, and a Scout leader. Then, she was hit with multiple sclerosis. Ade, as you might expect, basically said “@#$% this disease, I’m doing what I want.” And she did. It didn’t slow her down, until it did. In the process, I’d suggest that she taught us all how to fight adversity. Last week, Ade passed. Damn, I am missing my friend, who taught me so much about living life. ---
**Author:** ![Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiendish_astronaut/32/3295_2.png) [@Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiendish_Astronaut)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/2 "2021-05-26T09:18:48Z")
Sorry to hear that. Ade sounds like she was quite a character. Best wishes to you and her family. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/3 "2021-05-26T13:18:16Z")
So sorry to hear about your loss. Your little high school group reminds me of the one I was in. In contrast to the school’s social hierarchy, we called ourselves the “lowerarchy.” You and Ade would have fit right in. May your memories of Ade be a blessing. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/4 "2021-05-26T18:23:27Z")
Sincere condolences. I wish I’d had a group like that in HS. She sounds like a rare treasure. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/5 "2021-05-26T20:09:11Z")
A moving tribute and a profound loss. My deepest condolences. May your grief be mercifully brief, but may your memories of Ade be sweet and everlasting. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/6 "2021-05-26T21:22:28Z")
I am sorry about your loss. I too have a good group of friends from high school and I’ll be visiting them this summer. They mean the world to me and I have thought about what it would be like to lose one - a couple of them have been diagnosed with cancer and while they are doing well now, I know our luck won’t last forever. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/7 "2021-05-26T21:24:41Z")
Ade has enriched us all now. She’s being true to form. {{{{{ **spoons** }}}}} ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/8 "2021-05-26T21:45:04Z")
Oh I’m so sorry. May she rest in peace and may your memories bring you comfort. Be well. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2021, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-death-of-a-friend/942939/9 "2021-05-27T04:36:20Z")
Thanks, folks. In the time since my OP, Ade’s brother posted a moving tribute on Facebook. Among other things, he said this: > [@](#): > > She showed us that the true strength of warrior is on the inside and that you NEVER GIVE UP even when the fight is coming from a direction you never see, she never complained about her situation and kept her focus on helping others and trying to make things right in this world. That was Ade. Never give up. You got dealt a lousy hand, but you gotta play it; complaining won’t help and will achieve nothing. Do what you can while you can. And I’ll add a lesson that her brother added in many more words in another paragraph: Don’t be a pushover; don’t be afraid to call a spade a @#$% shovel if the situation calls for it. That was Ade. One of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever known. Again, thank you all.