# On the stubborn insistence that fictional romances should have real-world significance **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [December 3, 2023, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043 "2023-12-03T08:26:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/21 "2023-12-03T17:53:33Z")
Here is I post I wrote 13 years ago on my experiences in an adjacent area: > [@Why do women marry men on death row?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-women-marry-men-on-death-row/542858/28): > > My firm makes, among other things, software for tracking crazies for private security companies. It’s an outgrowth of software for police intel divisions to track “persons of interest”. Pretty much every brand name famous person in show biz, big biz, or politics hires one of a handful of security companies to watch over them. The uber wealthy-and-famous often have their own such company. These companies’ services are sort of a combo of physical security, bodyguards, concierge to government (e.… ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/22 "2023-12-03T18:30:35Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Although, she did reveal in an interview that there was some level of sexual antics between them. Dunno if it was what one would call a “relationship”, though. That may well be…but people thought they actually _lived_ together IRL. > [@](#): > > And let’s be honest, someone thinking that Robin Williams was an alien is kind of an understandable mistake to make. 😆 ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/23 "2023-12-03T19:15:54Z")
All I know is that I had a vague sense of relief when the actors playing brother-and-sister Dexter and Debra Morgan got divorced. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/24 "2023-12-03T19:52:45Z")
From that link on parasocial relationships: > Media users are loyal and feel directly connected to the persona, much as they are connected to their close friends, by observing and interpreting their appearance, gestures, voice, conversation, and conduct. Media personas have a significant amount of influence over media users, positive or negative, informing the way that they perceive certain topics or even their purchasing habits. My feeling is that media relationships are no more than the modern outgrowth of relationships between people and a religious leader or a cult leader or, in earlier times, kings. Mass media may be a new and amplified version of this relationship, but humans have always been susceptible to taking the words of a charismatic individual and devoting one’s life to them. Parasocial relationships do differ in certain important ways. Imaging that one is a friend of someone on media is a more equal relationship than being an acolyte, although both can feel guidance and support. Members of a cult also tend to feel powerful interrelationship with other members while parasocial relations sometimes devolve into personal jealousy of others who claim similar feelings. (That seems not to be true of Swifties, although I read of it happening with girls latching on to individual Beatles. Maybe girlfriend leads to a separate group than girl friend.) So while not completely parallel, I think they both stem from common roots, the need to belong to larger sets of relationships than their personal lives can accommodate and the willingness to offer personal loyalty against outside scorn. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/25 "2023-12-03T19:54:21Z")
Right?! But geez, I had such mixed feelings about that. I loved them as a couple too. My brain got dizzy for awhile. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/26 "2023-12-03T20:28:13Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > The weird thing was, Fred’s mail tended to come from adults, and he got a lot of marriage proposals from women. Some of them were obviously either kidding or had lost a bet, but some of them seemed very serious, and if they were meant to be jokes, they were too good. There’s a third option I’ve not seen mentioned: fantasy. People could just basically be pretending. Kinda like people at Disney pretend the suit performers are real. It’s not uncommon in online discussion about fiction to talk about the characters like they are real. And there are several accounts out there which will do role play, pretending to be a character. And people will pretend they really are who they pretend to be. It would make sense to me that, especially ore-internet, some people got this itch scratched by writing letters and such. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/27 "2023-12-03T21:10:43Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > All I know is that I had a vague sense of relief when the actors playing brother-and-sister Dexter and Debra Morgan got divorced. > [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > Right?! But geez, I had such mixed feelings about that. I loved them as a couple too. My brain got dizzy for awhile. It’s OK. One was adopted, so no consanguinuity. At least the internet documentaries I’ve seen on this topic suggest it’s all OK & just good clean fun if there’s a “step-” inserted somewhere amongst all the other inserting. 😁 🤪 ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/28 "2023-12-03T21:15:14Z")
> [@Si\_Amigo](#): > > I’m still pissed that Chachi abandoned Joanie. Best thing that ever happened to Joanie. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/29 "2023-12-03T21:17:50Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > The weird thing was, Fred’s mail tended to come from adults, and he got a lot of marriage proposals from women. This is crazy. We all know Fred would be an awful husband. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/30 "2023-12-03T22:00:32Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/zKy8CzX4TEU/maxresdefault.jpg "Wilma Flintstone | Red Dwarf | BBC Studios") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKy8CzX4TEU) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/31 "2023-12-03T22:10:17Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > We all know Fred would be an awful husband. Wilma was young and plenty hot. She had options. She stuck with Fred. Therefore there’s gotta be something desirable in that big hunk o’ man. Evidently the women in the real world saw that too. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/32 "2023-12-03T22:16:23Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Wilma was young and plenty hot. She had options. She stuck with Fred. Inertia. Same as Alice and Ralph Kramden. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/33 "2023-12-03T23:19:17Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Wow, that sounds like misery. Please, tell me this is some kind of performance art or just a put-on. > **[Crazy Chick Flips Out in Barnes & Noble](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv7LwFPp3SY%2F)** > > Next time she might want to check out the self-help section(p.s. if you like this vid here's another one shot by the same guy: https://youtu.be/JqqVby08XcI)s... ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2023, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/34 "2023-12-03T23:39:17Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Please, tell me this is some kind of performance art or just a put-on. How lucky that they happened to be filming it from the beginning! Yeah, just an eminence front. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2023, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/35 "2023-12-04T00:51:22Z")
Ooo! A Who reference! Sweet! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2023, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/36 "2023-12-04T01:13:52Z")
I bought it. But I won’t get fooled again. mmm ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2023, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/37 "2023-12-04T01:20:10Z")
did they have the name of it ? sounds different that the usual k drama ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2023, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/38 "2023-12-04T01:30:18Z")
The Jim and Pam romance had wonderful chemistry. Some actors have it with their acting partner more than others. I liked the chemistry also between Leah Remini and Kevin James. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2023, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/39 "2023-12-04T03:48:26Z")
Lots of people apparently thought James Garner was married to Mariette Hartley [James Garner was such a great actor, everybody believed he was married to his commercial costar](https://www.metv.com/stories/james-garner-and-mariette-hartley-polaroid-commercials-fooled-audiences-into-thinking-they-were-married) ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2023, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043/40 "2023-12-04T05:22:06Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > Lots of people apparently thought James Garner was married to Mariette Hartley Kinda like in post #2? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-the-stubborn-insistence-that-fictional-romances-should-have-real-world-significance/994043.md?page=3)