# On TV it seems like everybody solves murders but actual detectives **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [February 24, 2021, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641 "2021-02-24T14:52:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/21 "2021-02-24T16:03:45Z")
> [@MrAtoz](#): > > was a complete amateur, as was Sherlock Holmes Nope. Holmes wasn’t a _police_ detective, but he certainly was a detective, and hardly an amateur. > [@Sherlock Holmes](#): > > Well, I have a trade of my own. I suppose I am the only one in the world. I’m a consulting detective, if you can understand what that is. Here in London we have lots of Government detectives and lots of private ones. When these fellows are at fault they come to me, and I manage to put them on the right scent. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/22 "2021-02-24T16:11:19Z")
> [@solost](#): > > God…you’re right…it all adds up now! Plus, her ‘day job’ was writing murder mysteries, so she had all the know-how to frame people. Devious! Now, let me tell you about _My Three Sons_… Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/23 "2021-02-24T16:37:57Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > McMillan and Wife While I love the show, Mac wasn’t a cop, he was (the) Police Commissioner. He wasn’t in the chain of command. Enright (and later Dimaggio (no relation)) was a detective, though, and was always at Mac’s beck and call (Enright was a friendless doormat, but that’s a other rant…). Mac’s job was as an appointed person that sets policy for the police. I’m not even sure in real life if they handle budgets. And in real life, SF has more than one at a time, ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/24 "2021-02-24T16:42:33Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > While I love the show, Mac wasn’t a cop, he was (the) Police Commissioner. He wasn’t in the chain of command. Enright (and later Dimaggio (no relation)) was a detective, though, and was always at Mac’s beck and call (Enright was a friendless doormat, but that’s a other rant…). Mac’s job was as an appointed person that sets policy for the police. I’m not even sure in real life if they handle budgets. And in real life, SF has more than one at a time, I don’t know what it is in SF. In some places the police commissioner is a civilian but in others they are not and it’s been many years since I watched an episode of McMillan and Wife. If he had a gun and arrested people I’d say he was a cop. If his detective sidekick did that, then okay. We’ll put the show in the same vein as CSI. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/25 "2021-02-24T16:46:30Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Now, let me tell you about _My Three Sons_ … Let me guess…Fred MacMurray’s character on MTS was actually his character from ‘Double Indemnity’, who managed to escape the cops, establish a new identity as his MTS character, marry, have the titular sons, then killed his wife (probably for insurance reasons again). ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/26 "2021-02-24T16:49:27Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Jessica Fletcher was dropping bodies right and left and then gaslighting innocent victims into confessing to a crime she totally manufactured. It is shocking nobody looked at the murder rate in her vicinity and put it all together because the statistics alone make the truth self-evident. > > Stranger Not to mention Psych, which has more murders in a single season than Santa Barbara had during the show’s entire run (not to mention multiple serial killers) ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/27 "2021-02-24T16:57:31Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Let me guess…Fred MacMurray’s character on MTS was actually his character from ‘Double Indemnity’, who managed to escape the cops, establish a new identity as his MTS character, marry, have the titular sons, then killed his wife (probably for insurance reasons again). Not quite; Walter Neff was definitely getting the electric chair as the end of _Double Indemnity_. But there was [definitely something suspicious going on](http://www.panix.com/~clp/humor/Note/Note6.81.txt) with _My Three Sons_ with so many people disappearing that by then end of the run there was only one son left. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/28 "2021-02-24T17:10:03Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > there was [definitely something suspicious going on](http://www.panix.com/~clp/humor/Note/Note6.81.txt) with _My Three Sons_ with so many people disappearing that by then end of the run there was only one son left. Wow, I was too young to see the clues right in front of my face when I watched it as a kid, but now it’s painfully obvious that an orgy of familial serial killing took place on that show. What about Petticoat Junction? The 3 pretty daughters kept changing, yet claiming the original daughter identity, and no one seemed to notice or claim otherwise. And there was definitely something fishy about Uncle Joe… ---
**Author:** ![TiberiusNeroClaudius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@TiberiusNeroClaudius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TiberiusNeroClaudius)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/29 "2021-02-24T17:17:05Z")
All with a kooky friend who gets into trouble ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/30 "2021-02-24T17:18:27Z")
Yup, and a male significant other who doesn’t entirely approve of her amateur sleuthing. (Why, yes, my wife is a Hallmark Channel addict. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2021, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/31 "2021-02-24T18:55:39Z")
I can think of several that have a detective solving crimes. _Midsomer Murders Dragnet FBI Hill Street Blues Death in Paradise_ ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/32 "2021-02-25T01:14:40Z")
> [@solost](#): > > > [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > > > there was [definitely something suspicious going on](http://www.panix.com/~clp/humor/Note/Note6.81.txt) with _My Three Sons_ with so many people disappearing that by then end of the run there was only one son left. > > Wow, I was too young to see the clues right in front of my face when I watched it as a kid, but now it’s painfully obvious that an orgy of familial serial killing took place on that show. Wow; great link! I’d never noticed that. Despite watching the show for its entire run and being roughly Chip’s age the whole time. Then again, at the end Dad Steve is left with hot Katie, 20ish years his junior, and a new brood of little ones to kill at his leasure. Plus his second wife Barbara who was his age plus a bit. (taking the characters’ ages as those of the actors). In all, there was another 20 years of happy mayhem to go when the audiences and therefore the studios lost interest in Dad Douglas’ depraved and deadly depredations. Done right (= very, _very_ wrong), a reboot of this exploring the mass murder angle and the post-cancellation period could be a real hit with our geezer demographic. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TiberiusNeroClaudius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@TiberiusNeroClaudius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TiberiusNeroClaudius)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/33 "2021-02-25T01:20:10Z")
Would you prefer that all three (actually four) sons stay in the house into their mid30s as they did on “Bonanza” taking orders from their father? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/34 "2021-02-25T01:32:52Z")
Who you callin’ a geezer? 🤨 ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/35 "2021-02-25T01:39:54Z")
> [@TiberiusNeroClaudius](#): > > Would you prefer that all three (actually four) sons stay in the house into their mid30s as they did on “Bonanza” taking orders from their father? Talking about _Bonanza_, what was the average lifespan of a Cartwright bride? Stranger ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/36 "2021-02-25T01:47:49Z")
More important, was there ever an official inquiry as to why they all had such short life expectancies? 🤨 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/37 "2021-02-25T01:56:12Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Talking about _Bonanza_ , what was the average lifespan of a Cartwright bride? Like, three episodes, I believe. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/38 "2021-02-25T01:57:03Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Let me guess…Fred MacMurray’s character on MTS was actually his character from ‘Double Indemnity’, who managed to escape the cops, establish a new identity as his MTS character, marry, have the titular sons, then killed his wife (probably for insurance reasons again). Don’t get me started on the son who “disappeared.” Ever wonder why he up and decided to move everyone to California? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/39 "2021-02-25T02:09:46Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > More important, was there ever an official inquiry as to why they all had such short life expectancies? 🤨 “Hoss” was apparently bigger than we knew. Wrecked 'em? He damn near killed 'em. Those poor girls! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2021, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641/40 "2021-02-25T02:11:45Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > [Jessica Fletcher was dropping bodies right and left and then gaslighting innocent victims into confessing to a crime she totally manufactured. It is shocking nobody looked at the murder rate in her vicinity and put it all together because the statistics alone make the truth self-evident. Well, they would think that if they weren’t all just stories from her books. I mean, it’s in the title. (Not a real spoiler.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-tv-it-seems-like-everybody-solves-murders-but-actual-detectives/933641.md?page=3)