# On Which Side Do you Hang? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2004, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927 "2004-05-13T09:55:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/61 "2004-06-21T23:07:34Z")
I’m one of those flukes in the universe, I’m not either boxer or brief, and after a day of study, I’m not favored to one side either. Both sides feel el`naturale and I would randomly find it on both sides throughout the day. So I guess you might say I row both sides of the boat. STOP HITTING ME!!! IT HURTS!!! ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/62 "2004-06-21T23:10:48Z")
Hmm, I’m very confused and troubled by this thread. Grundy Jr. spends most of his time pointing upwards towards my navel. If I’m moving around, he tends to make his way left, but I don’t see this as a comfortable thing and do everything possible to correct it. Everybody’s skirting around the issue, but I’ll just come right out and ask: are y’all talking about actually going _down_ one pants leg or the other, or just lying to a side? Now, I’ll admit that I’m more of a “grower,” and I’m fine with that, but I can’t even _imagine_ having to deal with those kind of space issues. What happens when you sit down? Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/63 "2004-06-22T00:19:24Z")
> [@tpayne](#): > > I think many of you are beating around the answer… > > my crackpot theory is that you hang/dress opposite the hand you used to masturbate 😃 (at least back in your early really frequent, er, formative years…). > > I’m right handed but hang right… but the left hand was the preferred instrument of self-abuse… Beating around the answer! Har! I’m right-handed, I “dress” to the left, and I use my left hand whenever I date Rosy Palm and her Five Sisters. The reason for my choice of masturbation hand has to do with the fact that my wiener not only _points_ slightly to the left, it’s also _rotated_ slightly to the left. My schlong naturally hangs such that the centerline is rotated a few degrees – the “top” is slightly to the right, and the “bottom” is slightly to the left. The bottom is where the super-sensitive spot is, where most of the sexual stimulation happens, and my objective in masturbating is to maximize the amount of palm-surface contact with said super-sensitive spot. (Being circumcized, I generally require lubrication as well, but I can get that by licking my hand. Although I can still get by with dry-humping my bedsheets.) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/64 "2004-06-22T00:33:29Z")
And the trophy for Way Too Much Information in a thread just bursting at the seams with personal info goes too… **tracer**!!! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/65 "2004-06-22T00:35:00Z")
Egads, I said _seams_! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/66 "2004-06-22T01:08:59Z")
Well, since somebody else brought it up… I’ve been meaning to post a poll for some time now to find the relationship between “handedness” and, um, “handedness”. In other words: Are you right- or left-handed? and Which hand do you “hold” with? Cuz I’m right-handed, but the left hand takes care of bizness, knowwhatimean? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/67 "2004-06-22T03:35:38Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > Well, since somebody else brought it up… I’ve been meaning to post a poll for some time now to find the relationship between “handedness” and, um, “handedness”. > > In other words: > > Are you right- or left-handed? > > and > > Which hand do you “hold” with? > > Cuz I’m right-handed, but the left hand takes care of bizness, knowwhatimean? Hm, mrAru is right handed, dresses left and tosses off with is right hand. FWIW, AruRoomie is leftie, dresses left and tosses off left. He is now wondering why MrAru and I are giggling madly and asking him such strange questions, and the beer is the only reason he actually answered \ ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/68 "2004-06-22T03:46:58Z")
I had never given the subject much thought, never imagining that it would make a difference. As I am sitting here, everything is to the left ( I wear boxers). I tried moving everything to the right, but it feels unnatural, so apparently I dress left. FYI, I am right handed, and “right handed”. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/69 "2004-06-22T11:39:16Z")
Hangs on the left, manipulated with the right, right-handed. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Stilettos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Red\_Stilettos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Stilettos)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/70 "2004-06-22T13:40:48Z")
After reading this thread, I came across a very apropos historical tidbit: A ring piericing the top of the penis is called a prince albert, named after (drumroll, please) Prince Albert. (duh). But according to my source (Cosmopolitan 😛 ), he called it a dressing ring and used it to attach his member to one pants leg or the other. :eek: Now, that sounds painful! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/71 "2004-06-22T13:53:09Z")
I dress in the center. Yay, briefs! Way too much movement and constricting action going on down in the groinal region for me to be comfortable wearing boxers. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/72 "2004-06-22T16:09:29Z")
**galt:** > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **AHunter3** > > > [@](#): > > > > After a bit of experimentation I can report that I dress “up”. Everything is way well above the seam that divides leg from leg, and symmetrically arranged. > > Ok, I gotta ask for clarification here. Do you mean “up” as in pointing up? Or do you simply mean that the seam in question is low enough that all concerned parties are above it, and are therefore unconcerned with the whole left-right issue? I’m a tighty-whities guy myself, and that places all concerned parties in a neat package that doesn’t reach the seam. However, within that package, things are still more right than left. And never “up”. I don’t think I’d be able to sit down. The pointing part is pointing up, but not turgid or anything. The dangly bags do not point, of course, as pointing is not in their nature. Yeah, the neat package that doesn’t reach the seam thing, exactly. Nothing is more right than left or more left than right, or not consistently so. Everything is above the seam, although the pants are not loose. Bikinibriefs. [/way TMI] ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/73 "2004-06-22T17:22:50Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > (wow, this feels weird… feeling oneself while sitting at these message boards) Well, that depends on the thread, now doesn’t it? Anyway, my tailor knows that I dress left, so he makes my left pants leg longer than my right pants leg. That way, I don’t inadvertently violate the local exposure ordinances … 😃 and :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/74 "2004-06-22T19:55:55Z")
I dress to the left. If it slips to the right I **have** to rearrange it or it’s just too uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Xiphos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/48db29/32.png) [@Xiphos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xiphos)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/75 "2004-06-23T11:19:19Z")
I just tuck it in my (left) sock to keep it quiet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/76 "2004-06-23T15:15:52Z")
I generally go commando and I definately dress left. I am ambidextrous and I occasionally cheat on “Palmela Handerson” with “Rosie Palms”…but “Rosie” doesn’t mean anything to me 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/77 "2004-06-23T21:21:05Z")
The first time TeenSthrnAccent was going to be measured for a suit, I mentioned to him briefly and as off hand as possible before he left the house, that the tailor would be measuring his inseam. and explained what the inseam is from where to where. And told him he would likely be asked, “Which way do you dress?” and that it means to which side are your dangly bits most likely to be resting when you put on your underpants. I figured it was less embarrassed to be forewarned by your mother in private than to wonder what the heck the tailor is talking about whilst turning into a glowing red blushmaniac in public with a stranger. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/78 "2004-06-23T21:53:39Z")
> [@AbbySthrnAccent](#): > > . And told him he would likely be asked, “Which way do you dress?” and that it means to which side are your dangly bits most likely to be resting when you put on your underpants. I figured it was less embarrassed to be forewarned by your mother in private than to wonder what the heck the tailor is talking about whilst turning into a glowing red blushmaniac in public with a stranger. Next burning question is - did you actually call them dangly bits? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/79 "2004-06-23T22:04:33Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > Us ladies leave the ‘hanging’ to the men. For us, the seem just goes down the middle. I need my eyes checked. When I first read that post, it parsed as _the semen just goes down the middle_. Which is probably technically correct but not at all what **Gemma** intended. Sorry, **Gemma** ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927/80 "2004-06-23T22:52:07Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Next burning question is - did you actually call them dangly bits? :dubious: Yes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/on-which-side-do-you-hang/244927.md?page=5)