# Once again, Cute Kid Stories **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2011, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079 "2011-03-17T22:41:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/1 "2011-03-17T22:41:11Z")
My 3yo is very into phones lately. She’s seen me use my Bluetooth headset and voice activation. So today she got the headset that goes with our land line, put it on, and started barking people’s names into it. “Call. Granny. McCann!” 😃 So I finally let her call Granny on the regular phone, and in the middle of talking she was like, " . . . yeah, Chloe’s sick. She has – Ooh, I tooted, so I say ‘excuse me!’" Oh well, at least she’s being polite, if unnecessarily informative! The other night she was terrified by a thunderstorm. Phoenix and I were desperately trying to reassure and calm her. She said the thunder should go away. So we said, “Should we yell at the thunder to go away?” and she laughed like crazy and said, “No, that’s silly!” Then a beat later, and totally serious, “We should have the hawks do it.” ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/2 "2011-03-18T04:28:02Z")
Watching the news a few weeks ago, during the Egyptian ousting of Mubarak, and my 5 year old asks what it’s all about. I think about it for a few minutes, and tell him that the people in that country aren’t happy with their president, and have taken the job away from him. “Why don’t they like him? Is he mean?” (Yes.) “Do they have elections in Egypt?” (Yes, they do.) “Why did they vote for him, then?” (I try to explain about how Mubarak made it difficult for anyone to run against him in an election.) “Well, he sounds like a BULLY!” ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/3 "2011-03-18T13:09:18Z")
A friend sent me this a couple weeks ago - a conversation she had with her 3 yr old. K - I want to be with you forever. Will you come with me when I am an astronaut and I go to space? Me - I can’t. I’m not an astronaut. K - Why not? Me - Because I went to school to learn to be a teacher. K - I want to be that too. Me - You want to be a …teacher and an astronaut? K - Have I already learned everything I need for an astronaut? Me - No. It takes a really long time to learn to be an astronaut. K - I changed my mind. I don’t want to be an astronaut. I want to be a teacher so can you tell them? Me - Tell who? K - My teachers. Me - Oh. K, your preschool teachers aren’t teaching you to be an astronaut. K - Then what are they teaching me? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/4 "2011-03-18T13:24:57Z")
My 8yo gave me a hug the other night, announcing that he had waited up for me to get home just to hug me. I said, “Awww…I love you too, Sean. Thank you! You’re cool.” His Response? “Yes. Yes I am…” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/5 "2011-03-18T14:35:47Z")
The little Torqueling, as usual, is always good for a cute thought. One day recently, when I was driving her home from my parents’ house, she was being unusually quiet in the back seat. Then, she suddenly asked, “Daddy, why don’t shadows smile?” ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/6 "2011-03-18T15:15:16Z")
An exchange with my 3-year-old a few nights ago: Me: “David, you have wax in your ear.” David: “No. It’s just one wack.” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/7 "2011-03-18T15:56:17Z")
My son, 6: I want some of that bread, with butter, in the toaster. Me: “That” bread? Him: That good stuff, you know — the _circular_ bread. Me: Oh! [Makes bagel] ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/8 "2011-03-18T16:06:11Z")
My husband was tousling Josie’s hair the other day, and she screamed “No thank you, Daddy! Don’t touch my body!” It’s a wonder Children Services hasn’t been called on us yet. Yesterday she was playing around and found her winter hat (with tassled earflaps) and put it on, then said “I’m BEAUTIFUL!” I wish I could have gotten a picture, but when I said “Let me take a picture, beautiful” she ran into her tent. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/9 "2011-03-18T16:36:09Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > My husband was tousling Josie’s hair the other day, and she screamed “No thank you, Daddy! Don’t touch my body!” It’s a wonder Children Services hasn’t been called on us yet. heh. With the Torqueling, it’s, “Keep your hands to yourself!” She also loves “telling secrets,” which means whispering stuff into each other’s ears. Usually it’s mundane stuff, like, “I don’t think Momma likes chicken fries! She’s weird!” My favorite thing to do, though, is, “Lemme tell you a secret!” “What?” She leans in close. “I’m going to EAT YOUR EAR! OM NOM NOM!” “Daddy! That’s not a secret!” ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/10 "2011-03-18T16:56:56Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > “Well, he sounds like a BULLY!” My 6-year-old son was telling me everything he had learned about bullies in school. He concluded with “Bullies are the meanest guys in town…except for maybe evil scientists.” ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/11 "2011-03-18T23:16:54Z")
My first grader had a couple of pre-division problems on her math worksheet: I am a number that if you form three groups of seven from me, there are four left over (or something like that - I’m sure I have changed the actual numbers). She correctly answered it, and the next question said, “Draw a picture of what you did to solve it.” She drew a head with a star on the brain. 🙂 The next one had bigger numbers and that one had the picture of the head plus pictures of the fingers that she counted on to figure it out. I’m not sure whether to tell her what the problem actually wants, or just let it go. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/12 "2011-03-19T13:39:12Z")
I say let it go - that’s awesome! And hey, it’s a valid answer. It’s not her fault if she’s smart enough to just think about it and figure it out! ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/13 "2011-03-19T13:47:02Z")
My nephew first started going to daycare at about the same time he was learning to talk. Not just starting to speak, but _learning to talk_ IYKWIM. Anyway, at daycare the adults were all women and of course they were all “Mrs. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_.” So for the next few months after he had started going there, he would prefix everyone’s name with “Mrs.,” as in “Mrs. Mommy,” “Mrs. Daddy,” and “Mrs. Uncle DCnDC.” ---
**Author:** ![vifslan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f4b2a3/32.png) [@vifslan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vifslan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/14 "2011-03-19T14:20:29Z")
My nephew (three and a half) and my sister were frying pancakes the other day, while his other mommy was still at work. Nephew went to open the kitchen window “So [other mommy] will smell the pancakes and come home.” On receiving his first set of markers: “Here’s a red one, and here’s a black one so I can paint the thunder.” Another recent gem: “Mom, do you know that cats taste really good?” And then: “It’s okay, I can eat them after they’re dead.” They reached a final agreement that he won’t be eating cats as long as he lives with his mommies. The young 'un never ceases to amaze. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/15 "2011-03-19T14:59:56Z")
My just turned 6 yo daughter just got a non-functioning cell phone as a gift. That is, it’s not on a network, so it can’t make calls or send texts, but all the in-phone features work. This morning, she “sent” me a text message (by way of handing me the phone and telling me I had a text), with the following: > [@](#): > > Dear Mama I love you. you are great you are also funny 😃 and you are so weird :eek: and are sometimes cranky :mad: . (SDMB smilies approximating her phone’s smilies) Yep, 'bout sums it up! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/16 "2011-03-19T15:04:08Z")
8 yo son: Hey, Moooom? Wife: yes, my sweet child? Son: Ya know how we have a butthole? Y’know, where the poop comes out? Wife: yes, I am aware. Son: I don’t think fish have a butthole. I think they poop out of their mouth. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/17 "2011-03-19T20:00:36Z")
12-year-old kid I know from church youth group who is one of my FB friends starts up a chat with me on FB one night. K: [mentions some girl we go to church with who is his age] ME: Yeah, I know her. K: I asked her if she wants to be my girlfriend. ME: What did she say? K: She said she’d think about it. ME: Well keep in mind that girls mature faster than boys, so she may think you’re too goofy or silly for her. K: Yeah I though of that, but I’m awesome. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyFlair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce7236/32.png) [@JimmyFlair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyFlair)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/18 "2011-03-20T00:38:36Z")
Many years ago my brother dated a woman with a 6 year old son. We were sitting at the kitchen table one day, while he colored and told endless rambling stories (as little kids do). He mentioned someone named Russel. Me: Who is Russel? A friend of yours? He froze. Stopped coloring immediately, capped his marker slowly and deliberately, set the pen down, pushed the papers aside and clasped his hands together on the table in front of him. With the most serious and earnest expression possible, he sternly said : "No. Russel is no friend of mind. Russel…(pausing for just the right word)…is my _arch-nemesis_. He then cheerily picked up his markers and resumes coloring while I pretty much collapsed on the floor in laughter. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/19 "2011-03-20T12:32:36Z")
**Jimmy Flair** wins the thread! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079/20 "2011-03-20T12:56:13Z")
My niece when she was about 4 or 5, was watching the holy communion in church. " Mommy,the priest is giving them ice cream!". Later, “Now he is giving them water also” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-cute-kid-stories/575079.md?page=2)