# Once again - Describe a funny "Far Side" comic. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 12, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186 "2010-03-12T01:11:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/101 "2010-03-12T22:50:19Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Street corner at center. On one side, a nerd on roller-skates grooving to a Walkman, skating downhill towards the intersection. On the other, obscured from the nerd’s view and bound for the same intersection, Tarzan on elephant-back leading a charging herd of elephants. > > “Brian has a rendezvous with destiny.” Waitress in a bar says to another waitress: “Guess which table wants another round of banana daquiris?” Tarzan and his apes at a table, goofing it up (one has sucked a glass onto his face). * * * > [@Smeghead](#): > > Favorite non-work-related one: A bunch of vultures are gathered around, eating. One of them is wearing a cowboy hat and coat. He says, “Hey, look at me! I’m a cowboy! Howdy, howdy, howdy!” It’s the "howdy"s that make it. Two old coots on a park bench, feeding the pigeons… “Now take them big birds Barney. [Gestures to some vultures perched on a nearby tree] Never eat a thing, just sit and stare.” * * * He did this one twice, basically: Father lecturing his young son, who apparently was making a fuss in bed before lights-out: “Now don’t you start crying again, Jimmy, or I’ll once again summon the Floating Head of Death!” His wife, holding a a balloon outside a first story window, with a scary face drawn on the balloon. The other one involved a mechanical boot in the basement, arranged to pound on the wall: “Ooh, Johnny, the Thing in the Basement heard you crying again. Try to be quiet and see if it goes away.” If I ever have kids I would be sorely tempted to try that, even tho I know it would be despicable. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/102 "2010-03-12T22:53:12Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > From the “Censored Cartoons” section of the collection _Prehistory of the Far Side:_ > > A python or other large snake in a baby’s playpen, its head outside the bars, with a nonplussed expression as it realizes the huge bulge in its middle now prevents it from getting its body out through the bars the way it (presumably) got in. > > No caption, as such, only author’s commentary: “No, you didn’t see this one. Turn the page.” Damn, beaten to that one too . . . ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/103 "2010-03-12T22:57:43Z")
> [@sweetie pea](#): > > Bear on a unicycle, wearing a muzzle and a tutu, madly peddling away from a rip in the side of a circle tent: > > “And Bobo remained free for the rest of his life, although he did require counseling.” Two bears in a circus ring, crowd and ringmaster in background. One bear is wearing a muzzle; the other holds a muzzle between its paws, an astonished look on its face. “Well, I’ll be . . . These things just snap right off!” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/104 "2010-03-12T23:02:50Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > There’s a sequel to that one, too, and it’s even better: > What we say to cats: > “Fluffy, how dare you knock over the fishbowl and eat the fish! Bad cat, Fluffy! Bad cat!” > What they hear: > “Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah” No, I remember that one – the cat hears nothing but a blank, empty word balloon. Which makes it even better than the dog one, especially side-by-side. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/105 "2010-03-12T23:03:59Z")
Cows grazing in a field. One has an angry, astonished look. “Waitaminnit . . . This stuff is grass! We’ve been eating grass!” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/106 "2010-03-12T23:06:22Z")
> [@sulamith](#): > > Oh, oh, another one! > > A bear comes home to his den. He has a tag stapled to his ear, a radar collar on, a big “No. 8” painted on his side, and a hypodermic syringe sticking out of his backside. He is greeted by his clearly irritated she-bear wife who says, “Late again! Well I hope you have a good excuse this time.” What makes this one is the tag says #8, the radar collar says #8, and the male bear has such a befuddled look on his face. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/107 "2010-03-12T23:58:43Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Father lecturing his young son, who apparently was making a fuss in bed before lights-out: > > “Now don’t you start crying again, Jimmy, or I’ll once again summon the Floating Head of Death!” > > His wife, holding a a balloon outside a first story window, with a scary face drawn on the balloon. It is speculated that the term “Blue Screen of Death” was inspired by, or at least influenced by, this cartoon. > [@BrainGlutton](#): > > From the “Censored Cartoons” section of the collection _Prehistory of the Far Side:_ > > A python or other large snake in a baby’s playpen, its head outside the bars, with a nonplussed expression as it realizes the huge bulge in its middle now prevents it from getting its body out through the bars the way it (presumably) got in. > > No caption, as such, only author’s commentary: “No, you didn’t see this one. Turn the page.” Another from the Censored Cartoons: Two whales, looking up at a HUGE bubble clearly rising fast. “Kevin! Was that YOU?” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/108 "2010-03-13T00:34:23Z")
Two medieval soldiers atop a tower; one is pointing and the other has a horrified expressing on his face. “Genghis Khan! It’s Genghis Khan! … made you look!” _Early Man_: A woman in a frumpy robe and curlers has opened her door to a cave man holding flowers. A “horse hospital”; all the horses are in beds with horrified, big eyed expressions, and all the doctors carry shotguns. In the background there is “_BLAM…BLAM_” A cloud outside a building is sucking up furniture, goods and even a dog out of a window. A woman dressed like a widow is running out the front door yelling “It’s Harold! He’s taking it with him!” Two bugs in a to-scale living room filled with huge mounds of eggs piled everywhere. One is saying “Just thinking about what this place is going to look like in a few weeks gives me the willies.” A bunch of outlaws in the Old West are fleeing a bank robbery on horses. A sheriff is saying, “Don’t worry; we’ll take the big horse!” In the background is a building sized horse. An old west saloon seen from the outside; someone has just been thrown out though the window. Hitched out front are two horses, and a bear with a saddle. Two men and a dog in a lifeboat looking at a third man holding something. One is saying “Sorry; there’s only food and water enough for three, and you drew short straw.” A man in a basement looks up at a woman who has just opened the door and is glaring at him. He’s surrounded by phones and stationary all marked “THEY”. She’s saying "So! You’re the “they” in "“That’s what they say!” “They needed a scapegoat. They found Dwayne.” Dwayne is looking out a window at a mob carrying signs like “Down with Dwayne!” and “Dwayne, you jerk!” A corner inside a house. On one side is a cat obviously ready to pounce. On the other side is an eight foot or so tall spiky mouse robot walking towards the corner. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/109 "2010-03-13T00:50:37Z")
The tofudebeast. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/110 "2010-03-13T01:11:28Z")
A pair of lions or some such looking at a herd of antelope who all have “TURBO” written on their sides. “Don’t bother with these guys.” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/111 "2010-03-13T01:27:40Z")
In Hell, a TV is showing a demonic weatherman saying “You know that cold front we’ve been expecting all week? Well it turned out it JUUUST missed us!” A dog pointing a gun at it’s owners as they eat dinner: “I’m THROUGH begging!” A cat takes a shower in a stall equipped with a giant tongue. A donut shop owner is looking at his books and saying “I just can’t figure it! We’re moving over a thousand donuts a week and we’re still just barely breaking even!” (The assistant sweeping the floor weighs at least 500 pounds). Two men in an inflatable raft in the middle of the ocean are pulling in a floating box, and one says “well ok, but I don’t see what good a box of broken glass, throwing darts and razor blades is going to do us.” “Wow, we better remember that spot!” (Two cavemen are looking at a belly-up dead mammoth with a tiny arrow sticking out of it’s abdomen). A mob of [del]villagers[/del] apartment dwellers with torches and pitchforks are storming the apartment where two men are playing a tuba and a bass drum. An astronaut on the moon is staring at the descent stage of a lunar lander and reading a note that says “Where were you? We waited and waited but finally…” A UFO buzzes a screaming crowd of humans and the alien pilot is yelling “YEEEEE-HAW!” Two fishermen in a boat on a lake see a mushroom cloud in the distance. One says “I’ll tell you what it means, it means SCREW the limit!” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/112 "2010-03-13T01:41:59Z")
A man and a woman in a car on the surface of the Moon, with the Earth visible in the sky. The woman is saying “NOW look where the Earth is! Move over and let me drive!” A woman in a home is reaching towards a cat saying “Ooo, can I pet him?” Everything in the home is slashed up, and the couple on the couch are covered in scars, wearing ripped clothes and wearing eyepatches. ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/113 "2010-03-13T02:16:36Z")
A dressed up dog is at the just opened door, which reveals a French poodle, all frilled up and r eady for a date. Dog says, “Gladys, you look stunning. And whatever you rolled in sure does stink!” ---
**Author:** ![from\_a\_to\_z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5fc32e/32.png) [@from\_a\_to\_z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/from_a_to_z)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/114 "2010-03-13T02:21:32Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > The first thread that I started which got more than 100 replies was [Favorite “Far Side” Memories (MAD, too)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=192208) > … This is (almost) too much fun. Who needs to work for a living, when one can laugh oneself silly while enjoying another’s talents. So, if these don’t stink too much… [ul]“Bullknitters” (3 elderly bulls in rocking chairs, knitting and shooting the breeze; for example, “Well, I must’ve thrown that matador twenty feet in the air…”).[/ul] [ul]Tarzan (Larson seems to like him) vine-swinging through the jungle and practicing his greeting: “Okay…‘How do you do. My name is Tarzan, and I believe you are known as Jane.’” (And so on, until he actually meets her.)[/ul] [ul]Lambini & Sons (who are tiling a floor in the early 16th century).[/ul] [ul]“Medieval pickup battles” (shirts vs skins).[/ul] [ul]“Giraffe beach parties” (they’re doing the limbo).[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/115 "2010-03-13T03:01:36Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Two airline pilots are in the cockpit. One turns and says, “say… what’s a mountain goat doing way up here in a cloud bank”. In a similar vein: An airliner from the side. In the cockpit the pilot’s looking down and saying, “What’s that light? Oh my God, it’s the fuel light! We’re out of fuel and going to crash! – Oh wait. It’s just the intercom.” In the back every window has a passenger’s face with the eyes absolutely bugging out. Western kids on horses. One’s been run headon into a tree and its head and neck are accordioned into the body. One of the kids on an intact horse is saying, “Gee, Brad. What are you going to tell your dad?” ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/116 "2010-03-13T03:27:21Z")
Two pirates at a bar, obviously swapping stories. One pirate says, “Oh yeah, let me tell you about this!” showing a peg leg. You see the other pirate, _and he’s got a peg head_. With a cap sitting on top, turned toward the first pirate. Like yeah, a peg leg can compare with a guy with a peg head! ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/117 "2010-03-13T03:44:25Z")
A typical housewife standing next to her window talking on the phone. The entire view outside is taken up by a giant, monstrous eye looking in. Caption: “Bernice? Hi, it’s Gladys form across the street… I’m fine. Listen, could you look outside and tell me what’s in my front yard?” ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/118 "2010-03-13T05:10:59Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > In a similar vein: An airliner from the side. In the cockpit the pilot’s looking down and saying, “What’s that light? Oh my God, it’s the fuel light! We’re out of fuel and going to crash! – Oh wait. It’s just the intercom.” In the back every window has a passenger’s face with the eyes absolutely bugging out. Another airline pilot one which you just know had to be posted all over pilot’s lounges and such: “Okay folks, it looks like we’re about to hit some rather bad turbulence…” Both pilots grab the controls and start violently yanking them to and fro, back and forth, as the frame tilts at a weird angle or two. Next frame shows them both sharing a chuckle… “Alright folks, I think we’re in the clear..no, wait, brace yourself for MORE turbulence!” The knowing looks that the pilot and co-pilot give each other in the last frame completely sells the gag. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/119 "2010-03-13T06:56:49Z")
An airliner taking off, attached to the undercarriage (by it’s tongue), a fairly surprised looking frog. Also, one of the hordes attacking a castle pauses in the middle of the drawbridge and points down at the moat; “Ohh look, _goldfish!_” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186/120 "2010-03-13T08:23:32Z")
A pair of anthropomorphic moose in a living room; the male is potbellied and sitting in a chair with a beer; the female is in a frumpy outfit and holding a phone. “Dear? It’s the call of the wild.” > [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > A typical housewife standing next to her window talking on the phone. The entire view outside is taken up by a giant, monstrous eye looking in. > > Caption: “Bernice? Hi, it’s Gladys form across the street… I’m fine. Listen, could you look outside and tell me what’s in my front yard?” That reminds me of another: A guy is driving and looking in the side mirror, which is labeled “OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR”; nothing is visible in the mirror but a huge bloodshot eye. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-again-describe-a-funny-far-side-comic/532186.md?page=7)