# Once and for all, who kicks more arse? The ninjas vs. pirates thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740 "2003-08-12T21:41:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Gutgore_Blooddrink)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/1 "2003-08-12T21:41:31Z")
All right, this is a debate that needs to be settled once and for all. We’ll take this all the way up to Cecil if we have to, but damn it, this needs to be settled. Once and for all, which is the Uber ass kicking king of coolness: Ninjas or Pirates? It’s on! ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/2 "2003-08-12T21:43:20Z")
This is tough. Ninjas are stealthy and cool. But it’s fun to talk like a pirate. Yarr!! I have no vote here… ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/3 "2003-08-12T21:52:18Z")
I’d say Ninja’s. However there would probably be many more Pirates in the fight. In all the movies you see only, say, 3, 4 ninja’s. But hell, there are shiploads of pirates. Eventully, the mob alone would overtake any Martial Artists up for the challenge. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/4 "2003-08-12T22:09:44Z")
Let’s see… Ninjas wear all black clothes and slippers. Pirates wear whatever they want and boots. Points: +1 Pirates Ninjas have long, slightly curved swords. Pirates have broad, curved swords. Points: a draw Ninjas are silent and stealthy. Pirates are loud and flamboyant. Points: +1 Pirates I say Pirates by 2 points! ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/5 "2003-08-12T22:13:00Z")
well… it would be hard for the ninjas to get way out to the spanish main… so somebody wouyld have to be “home” and someone would hoave to be the “away” team. I suppose, therefore, that there would be a fairly imposing “home field advantage”… at sea, ship vs. ship, I go with the pirates… in just about any other location, my money is on the ninja… 'specially in night games! ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/6 "2003-08-12T22:18:24Z")
Pirates. ---
**Author:** ![Tallayan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Tallayan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tallayan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/7 "2003-08-12T23:03:15Z")
I’m a big pirate fan but it should be oblvious that ninja’s would kick the pirates asses. Your deluding yourself if you think it would be a contest here’s the scenario The ninja’s infilitrate the pirate ship while it is at bay and stealthily poision the food, only a few pirates wouldnt be dead or extreemly sick, the ninja’s would easily be able to eliminate these individuals. Even without poisioning they would be taking the pirates 1 on 1, they would garrot and stab the ones on watch, set fire to an area and kill all who come to put the fire out etc. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/8 "2003-08-13T02:09:22Z")
Or, you could call the argument a [draw…](http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/yarr.htm) Robin ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/9 "2003-08-13T02:14:09Z")
Even being a NationStates member, I’d say ninjas definitely kick more ass. Especially when there are ten monkey ninjas armed with swords. . . Which begs the question, would ten, sword-wielding monkey ninjas beat a full-grown grizzly bear? [sub]damn, wish I could find that thread. . .search is down for me[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Shaolinrabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Shaolinrabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shaolinrabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/10 "2003-08-13T02:21:36Z")
Pirates suck the goat ass. Ninja’s _RULE_. ---
**Author:** ![misshornypenny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@misshornypenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misshornypenny)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/11 "2003-08-13T03:39:17Z")
depends on the situation really… however, i get the impression that ninjas would be cleaner. there are times when pirates look like they must really smell. but if we’re doing battle on the open sea, what the hell good is a ninja? and if we’re breaking into the emperor’s palace, well i’m afraid one could both smell and hear a pirate coming. apples and oranges, pirates and ninjas… that’s what i say. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/12 "2003-08-13T04:17:58Z")
What kind of ship do the ninjas have? ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/13 "2003-08-13T05:02:53Z")
If I’m correct in that thinking the discussion is about who is cooler, not _just_ who’d win in a fight (since it’s my post I’m declaring that I am right), then it’s pirates in a landslide for one reasons. Pirates hang out drinking on beaches with whores… ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/14 "2003-08-13T05:33:22Z")
You know what would be cool? PIRATE NINJAS! Man, how come nobody thought of that? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/15 "2003-08-13T05:55:48Z")
Ninjas, no contest. [http://realultimatepower.net/](http://realultimatepower.net/) ---
**Author:** ![Catalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Catalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catalyst)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/16 "2003-08-13T08:02:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Incubus \* > \*\*You know what would be cool? PIRATE NINJAS! Man, how come nobody thought of that? \*\* No no, it’s _ninja pirates_! **MsRobyn** has already linked to the appropriate site (what _isn’t_ Weebl & Bob appropriate for?). Avast ye! ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/17 "2003-08-13T08:07:45Z")
Shiver me shurikens! I’m going to have to vote for ninjas, because they’re so enigmatic. Pirates are motivated by the patently worldly pursuit of swag. Ninjas, on the other hand, are freaking weird. Case in point, teenage mutant pirate turtles just wouldn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/18 "2003-08-14T07:53:56Z")
Ooooooo, TMNT could turn the tide of the arguement. ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/19 "2003-08-14T08:14:59Z")
Black is quite slimming, whereas horizontal stripes make all but the most svelte look like the back of a galleon. On the other hand, you could really get to know a pirate, whereas a ninja would remain silently aloof. Also, you can’t beat a good west country accent, certainly not with whatever language ninjas use whenever they’re not saying fuck all. All in all, I’m going to have to go with pirates, those lovable cutthroat rum-swilling rapists. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/20 "2003-08-14T16:36:33Z")
Putting some history into this, some of the Ninja clans of old Japan made money as pirates. So there were ninja pirates, I have been told that there even exist martial arts technique scrolls from the period, for techniques to use on a moving ship, to take advantage of the motion of the ship’s deck. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740.md?page=2)