# Once and for all, who kicks more arse? The ninjas vs. pirates thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740 "2003-08-12T21:41:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![epeepunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f19dbf/32.png) [@epeepunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epeepunk)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/21 "2003-08-14T16:51:43Z")
Of topic, but … My son has decided that when he grows up, he’ll be a pirate. And after he’s done being a pirate, he’ll be a ninja. If I told him he could be a ninja pirate I think his head would explode. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/22 "2003-08-14T16:53:15Z")
Here is a [link](http://www.hanako.co.uk/Soke/Biographies.htm). Read about Kuki Yoshitaka, and his connection with Ninja-Pirates. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/23 "2003-08-14T17:13:30Z")
Cooler hair, cooler clothes, much more jewelry, immortal phrases that have entered the language centuries ago and show no signs of leaving…pirates all the way. In a fight, the pirates win because they gang up and fight dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/24 "2003-08-14T17:26:49Z")
Pirate have pistols–POWIE! Ninjas, on the other hand, are always ill, due to genetic problems brought about by mutation. No contest. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/25 "2003-08-15T11:36:03Z")
[oh yes. very sexy.](http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/quest.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/26 "2003-08-15T14:02:49Z")
Ninja’s kick ass very stealthily. and actually **Encinitas** , ninja swords are not curved. they are straight and slightly shorter than normal samurai swords. still look damned cool tho, and they will still cut you in half easily. i feel stealth shall win over lack of washing/teeth anyday… ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/27 "2003-08-15T14:44:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Incubus \* > \*\*You know what would be cool? PIRATE NINJAS! Man, how come nobody thought of that? \*\* how bout FINNISH OPABINIA PIRATE NINJA ELVES! ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/28 "2003-08-15T14:58:10Z")
Based on this thread and the various PotC threads, our current candidate for the overall coolest mascot is: **Coin-filching Zombie Robot Guitarist Pirate Ninja Monkey from Space!** ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/29 "2003-08-15T16:49:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*What kind of ship do the ninjas have? \*\* Cutters, of course! ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/30 "2003-08-15T18:03:52Z")
Oddly enough, I have a movie with Ninja pirates in it 😃 “The East is Red” with the swoonerific Brigitte Lin, has a gang of ninja pirates. But this is the really cool part…their ship (yes, a ship!) also converts into a submarine! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/31 "2003-08-15T18:18:48Z")
Ahhrrr me mateys, most ships convert to submarines when the canonballs hit them below the waterline, ahhahhhr. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/32 "2003-08-15T18:57:17Z")
Well, let’s look at this… The traditional source of ninja information comes from Anime and Manga. In those highly-accurate sources, there’re ALWAYS hundreds of ninjas, and they ALWAYS kick ass… UNLESS they’re facing a main character, in which case they become more inept than Stormtroopers and Redshirts combined. Ergo, in you pitted a hundred ninjas against a hundred pirates, the pirates would lose. However, if you pitted a hundred ninjas against, say, Jack Sparrow, the ninjas would be slaughtered with ease. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/33 "2003-08-15T19:58:02Z")
Ahem - there’s actually _debate_ over this? Ninjas, obviously, are _ **far** _ superior to any other creature of violence and mayhem. And I fully expect **look!ninjas** , **Little Plastic Ninja** , and any other Ninja Dopers to be in here shortly for a full-on demonstration of our Ninja Powers. Hmph. Pirates. I scoff (but silently, of course.) ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/34 "2003-08-15T23:53:39Z")
Alas, **NinjaChick** , I don’t know if I can back you up in this fight. While I have seen the might of the ninja (and they are mighty), I have a soft spot in my heart for the dashing, daring pirates. I recall the shipwreck near that little island in the South Seas, and the adventures that led to my brief, tumultous affair with the roguish Captain McPucky… In the end, I find myself agreeing with **Scuba\_Ben**. The **Coin-filching Zombie Robot Guitarist Pirate Ninja Monkey from Space!** ™ kicks more ass than anyone else going. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/35 "2003-10-24T16:09:02Z")
Gosh, I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t even see this thread before. Well, I’ll resurrect it zombie style, because zombie pirates are SO FREAKIN’ COOL. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/36 "2003-10-24T18:57:48Z")
I like ninjas and all, but ninjas have never given me free illegal movies and music. Pirates all the way! ---
**Author:** ![DaveX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/96bed5/32.png) [@DaveX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaveX)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/37 "2003-10-24T19:09:06Z")
Ninjas, being from the far east, most likely subscribe to an eastern philosophy that eschews personal belongings. Pirates bury their money. **draw** Ninjas (again, drawing on eastern philosophy) meditate to acheive an altered state of consciousness. Pirates get smashed out of their gourd. **advantage, pirates** Also, the greatest movie of all time, “The Princess Bride”… Nary a ninja to be found, but pirates abound! Pirates all the way, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740/38 "2003-10-24T19:25:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bippy the Beardless \* > \*\*Ahhrrr me mateys, most ships convert to submarines when the canonballs hit them below the waterline, ahhahhhr. \*\* Heh heh heh . . . good point, **Bippy**. But what would happen when the apocryphaballs hit 'em? (Sorry . . . so damned sorry . . . ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-and-for-all-who-kicks-more-arse-the-ninjas-vs-pirates-thread/194740.md?page=1)