# Once more with feeling- TRULY AWFUL JOKES!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 7, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551 "2003-02-07T20:26:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/101 "2003-02-08T16:59:16Z")
A blind man walks into a bar… “Ouch! What the f\_\_K is _that_?” ---
**Author:** ![stargazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@stargazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stargazer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/102 "2003-02-08T18:09:23Z")
How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it! How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way! I call those my second-grader jokes. I love 'em. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/103 "2003-02-08T18:46:34Z")
**stargazer** , you bastard, I was about to tell those. Oh well. How do you know the stage is level? There’s drool coming out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth. What do you call 20,000 trombones at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! What’s the difference between a Ming vase and an oboe? No one cares if you break an oboe. What’s a pirate’s favorite color? Arrrr-ange! ---
**Author:** ![dinahmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dinahmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinahmoe)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/104 "2003-02-08T19:28:57Z")
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? I’m a pile-up! \ (make sure you ask the reply out loud. Very loud, in fact. Try yelling it:)) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/105 "2003-02-08T20:10:37Z")
Q. How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/106 "2003-02-08T20:12:44Z")
A joke from 1987-88 that’s threatening to become relevant once again: Q. What’s the difference between Republican women and Democratic women? A. Republican women give their heart to Bush. ---
**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/107 "2003-02-08T20:31:12Z")
A penguin walks into a bar and orders a whisky. The bartender is so surprised to see a penguin in the bar, he goes to check with the manager. He says to the manager, “There’s a penguin here, he wants a whisky.” The manager thinks for a minute and says, “Serve him the whisky. Charge him $5.” So the bartender goes back to the penguin and serves the whisky. He goes to help some other customers, but eventually his curiousity gets the better of him and he goes to talk to the penguin. He says, “It’s really strange to have a penguin in this bar. We don’t see too many penguins around here.” The penguin replies, “Well, at these prices, you won’t see too many more!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/108 "2003-02-08T20:36:41Z")
Baby penguin walks into the same bar and says, “Hey! You seen my dad?” Bartender, “I dunno, what’s he look like?” ---
**Author:** ![Homer\_J](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c37758/32.png) [@Homer\_J](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer_J)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/109 "2003-02-08T20:55:06Z")
Two Sausages in a frying pan One says to the other ‘man its getting hot in here’ The second one says ‘SHIT! a talking sausage!’ ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/110 "2003-02-08T20:59:39Z")
What’s a foot long and slippery? _A slipper!_ Why is six afraid of seven? _Because seven eight nine!_ ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/111 "2003-02-08T21:07:10Z")
What’s long and hard and filled with seaman? A submarine. What’s hard and round and sticks so far out of a man’s pajamas he can hang a hat on it? His head. Silly Sally was in her bathtub when a man came in, took off his clothes and joined her in the tub. Silly Sally just laughed and laughed. She knew there was only one bar of soap. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/112 "2003-02-08T21:12:48Z")
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Sixteen. One stands on a stepladder and holds the lightbulb below the fixture. The other fifteen drink whiskey until the room goes round. ---
**Author:** ![Mirasol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Mirasol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirasol)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/113 "2003-02-08T21:24:52Z")
The ONLY joke I ever seem to remember: Whaddya get if you cross and elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/114 "2003-02-08T22:30:57Z")
A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office dressed only in saran wrap. “Well,” the psychiatrist says, “I can clearly see you’re nuts.” ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/115 "2003-02-08T22:53:43Z")
Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? To the Dump, To the Dump, To the Dump, Dump, Dump. ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_D\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/839c29/32.png) [@Jane\_D\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_D_oh)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/116 "2003-02-08T23:14:17Z")
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. I don’t know why, but it always makes me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/117 "2003-02-08T23:21:54Z")
There are 10 types of people in the world – those who understand binary notation and those who don’t. ---
**Author:** ![doverpro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@doverpro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doverpro)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/118 "2003-02-08T23:47:22Z")
A baby seal walks into a club. ---
**Author:** ![VitaLemonTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/96bed5/32.png) [@VitaLemonTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VitaLemonTea)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/119 "2003-02-09T03:10:59Z")
A fly walks into R Kelly’s recording studio and asks “Hi, can you help me?” R Kelly says “I believe I can, fly”. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551/120 "2003-02-09T04:23:32Z")
I hope that fly isn’t underage. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-more-with-feeling-truly-awful-jokes/153551.md?page=7)