# Once upon a time, there was a duck.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-duck/342424
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 31, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-duck/342424 "2006-01-31T22:43:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 6
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2006, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-duck/342424/41 "2006-02-05T02:01:58Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#):
>
> Just in time was he pressed. The creases in his trousers looked _dreadful_! However, the shrewd public duckfender uncovered procedural errors in the state’s case, namely that Drake was never read his Miranduck rights, and that his confession had been improperly recorded on duck tape without his knowledge or consent, thereby saving him from the hot water which would have led to duck soup. Case dismissed.
>
> Stepping from the courthouse a free duck, he smiled and looked across the park and saw…
. . .Pinney, looking very dapper in white ducks and tails. “Ooo, baby, shake a tail feather”, thought Drake. “You’re place or mine?” cooed Drake. “Eider one is fine with me”, replied Pinney. I’d like to see where the wild goose goes." “Scandia, I think”, said Drake with a wink.
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-duck/342424/42 "2006-02-06T15:41:22Z")
Thus firmly entrenched in the field of love, the two took to the air and joined a small group of migrating mallards. Before too long the group spied what appeared to be a smallish party of some class near the rushes in a small pond. Down they spiraled. But as they began to reach the water, BLAM! Pinney was sprayed with the hot gore that blew out of Drake’s neck and chest. Before she realized what was going on, BLAM! She felt a dozen fiery knives dig into her own body and she and her would-be lover plummeted into the chilly waters.
…Hmm…
Ok, Once upon a time, there was a duck. But he was no ordinary duck see? He was a Cannuck muck-duck with plenty of pluck. And the thing he liked best in the world was to …
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### Author:  [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)
#### Post date: [February 11, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-duck/342424/43 "2006-02-11T21:13:39Z")
… press his luck. With puns most atrocious embedded in embellished tales most verbose-ious.
😉
Once upon a time, there was a slug…
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### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [February 11, 2006, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-duck/342424/44 "2006-02-11T22:04:37Z")
…who grew up to be a world-famous cartoonist. But one day, to his shock…
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### Author:  [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2006, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-duck/342424/45 "2006-02-12T05:28:37Z")
and awe (shock _always_ goes with awe), he realized that he was no longer leaving slime trails everywhere, making people wonder if a politician had been there before them, because he had webbed feet. Feathers. Wings. And a bill! Of course he had a bill, silly. Someone has to pay for the webbed feet, feathers, and wings. By some strange circumstance only understood by Marlin Perkins, the slug had miraculously been transformed into [del]Liberty Mutual Insurance[/del] a DUCK, making him Duck l’orange. Not being daffy, the duck knew that his saucy state would likely make folk salivate, and that would surely complicate the story as we’ll demonstrate. Tossing aside his copy of “Being a Duck and Gettin’ Down” by Johnnie Cochran, he moseyed over to…
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### Author:  [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)
#### Post date: [February 12, 2006, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-duck/342424/46 "2006-02-12T22:24:08Z")
… his good friend, the groundhog known as Puns-A-Tawney Phil. A fellow lover of the well-turned phrase, he spent 364 days of the year in Boca. Once a year, he hikes back to Pennsylvania to fulfill his mighty destiny.
Phil and Duck L’Orange decided to move to warmer climes and open up a grille, wisely deciding to name it the Quill And Burrow. Business was brisk. Phil had just taken out the week’s renderings when who should walk in the service entrance but…
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