# One burger for the rest of your life. Which is it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 19, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536 "2012-12-19T16:19:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/61 "2012-12-20T14:16:38Z")
Well, if it’s a real-world burger with real-world limitations, that’s an easy choice. As I said in the thread that inspired this one: Whataburger is open 24/7, and is consistently delicious. If I had to pick it only one way, a double double with bacon on a wheat bun. If it’s a magic burger that we can get for just wishing. I want a bacon cheeseburger from Cool Beans, a bar that used to exist in Denton, TX. If we get to wish the whole meal into existence, I’d like a pre-1990 Shiner Bock to drink. mmmmmmmmmmmmm ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/62 "2012-12-20T14:53:06Z")
If for some reason the Triplet in Spencer, Idaho was unavailable, my second choice would be the cheeseburger at the Long Branch Saloon in Anchorage, AK. The bun is merely a cloud to transport the beefy goodness to your mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/63 "2012-12-20T15:40:48Z")
A Hackney’s (Chicagoland restaurant - well known for their burgers and onion ring loaves) Patty Melt, medium rare. With the onion ring loaf. If you’re going to Hacckney’s, you gotta get the oniony loafage. That or a Big Mac (no lettuce, extra cheese and sauce.) ---
**Author:** ![Kiros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/439d5e/32.png) [@Kiros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiros)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/64 "2012-12-20T16:06:31Z")
There’s a local place named Corey’s Catsup and Mustard that does excellent pub-style burgers. I’d go with one of those, medium rare, with cheddar, bacon, and barbecue sauce. Cajun style fries and whatever IPA is on tap finishes it off. Bonus points if you can get me in there on a Friday or Saturday with less than an hour wait, a feat that is near impossible in Real Life. The bison burger at Ted’s (same as above - which is to say George’s Cadillac, in Ted-speak) comes in a close second. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/65 "2012-12-20T16:34:07Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > A Hackney’s (Chicagoland restaurant - well known for their burgers and onion ring loaves) Patty Melt, medium rare. On dark rye, or a traditional bun? ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/66 "2012-12-20T17:41:04Z")
I’m going to have to go with a single patty with cheese, mustard, ketchup and onion from [Edzo’s](http://edzos.com/). Simple and perfect. And Taylor Street fries. Holy crap, Taylor Street fries. ---
**Author:** ![notquitekarpov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@notquitekarpov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notquitekarpov)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/67 "2012-12-20T19:23:17Z")
Would have to be my own home made one. I can count the number of places I have eaten a burger that I would return to do likewise on one hand. None of them have been chains, however small. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/68 "2012-12-20T19:43:29Z")
Since I have to order from a restaurant (my burgers are better), I’ll go with **Culver’s**. A double ButterBurger, cheese, mayo, ketchup, lettuce, onions… Wait… A few months ago they had a promotion for a grilled-onion burger which they no longer sell. I WANT THAT BURGER IT WAS SO AWESOME! If I can choose the burgers I cook @ home, then the burgers I cook @ home. I also enjoyed the burgers I got from [Portillo’s](http://www.portillos.com/), but I don’t have one of those down the street. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![KermitTheFrig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/47e85d/32.png) [@KermitTheFrig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KermitTheFrig)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/69 "2012-12-20T21:11:05Z")
Five Guys little bacon cheeseburger, all the way, (mayo, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, ketchup, mustard.) ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/70 "2012-12-20T21:24:55Z")
> [@bup](#): > > On dark rye, or a traditional bun? Dark Rye. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/71 "2012-12-20T22:18:55Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I think I’d have to go with my favorite burger at The Counter: patty, ham, swiss cheese, and fried egg. Since it’s not a fast food place I’d probably have to cut down on my burger consumption (they’re not cheap!) and I’d miss my occasional McD’s or Burger King burger, but if I only get one, that’d be it.. If you’re talking about Counter in Chicago, I am sorry to report that it has closed…and will become the second Kuma’s location. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/72 "2012-12-20T22:25:52Z")
> [@jnglmassiv](#): > > If you’re talking about Counter in Chicago, I am sorry to report that it has closed…and will become the second Kuma’s location. Kuma’s is expanding? Did not know that. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/73 "2012-12-20T22:27:48Z")
I hate burgers. Two exceptions: patty melt, a wide yet THIN burger with a ton of sauteed onions and swiss or provolone cheese, on marble rye, grilled in a smidge of butter. (Isn’t that what they call a panini now?) Or Burger King Junior Whopper. Not the full size, the Junior. They’ve always been my favorite fast food, if nothing better is available. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/74 "2012-12-20T23:22:37Z")
> [@jnglmassiv](#): > > If you’re talking about Counter in Chicago, I am sorry to report that it has closed…and will become the second Kuma’s location. Nope, I’m talking about the one in San Jose, though I recently found out it was a chain so there might have been one in Chicago too. The one in SJ is alive and well and still serving tasty burgers to hungry hipsters. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/75 "2012-12-20T23:34:30Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I hate burgers. Two exceptions: patty melt, a wide yet THIN burger with a ton of sauteed > onions and swiss or provolone cheese, on marble rye, grilled in a smidge of butter. (Isn’t that what they call a panini now?) Or Burger King Junior Whopper. Not the full size, the Junior. They’ve always been my favorite fast food, if nothing better is available. I can fully support the patty melt sentiment. A well-made patty melt truly is transcendent. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/76 "2012-12-20T23:44:55Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > In Madison Wisconsin there is a place called Dotty’s Dumpling Dowry. The memory I have of those burgers (late 80s) still lingers like no other. I cannot attest to how they are now, I know they moved, but if I could get that burger I had back then then I could die happy. Still around, still outstanding, but IMO gets beaten out in Burgers by Tony Franks. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/77 "2012-12-21T00:24:52Z")
I’ll pretend that the world is in the throes of near-Armageddon and there’s only one restaurant left standing, thus making it impossible for me to continue my vegetarian lifestyle. In that case, the last restaurant on Terra had better be JJ’s Sunken Sub in Tallahassee, FL so I can get a Double Chuckaburger with cheese. They’re the best damn burgers the world has ever known. ---
**Author:** ![Rhodes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhodes/32/273_2.png) [@Rhodes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhodes)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/78 "2012-12-21T00:44:10Z")
It’s not available where I live, but if it was then a [Crown Burger](http://www.crown-burgers.com/index.php) (or one of its [many](http://astroburgers.com/) [clones](http://www.apolloburgers.com/) in Utah) would be the only burger I’d ever need. It’s piled high with pastrami. So flavorful you can hear your arteries hardening with every bite. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/79 "2012-12-21T00:56:22Z")
I’m gonna have to go with a local Chicago favorite and say the Big Mickey (or the Big Baby if you prefer) - simple double cheeseburger with grilled onions. I think the price has skyrocketed to $1.19 ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536/80 "2012-12-21T01:52:50Z")
The burger at [Holman and Finch](http://holeman-finch.com/burger.html) in Atlanta. They only serve 24 of them at 10pm because it ties up their whole griddle. I thought it was a lame gimmick, and then I ate one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-burger-for-the-rest-of-your-life-which-is-it/644536.md?page=5)