# One day in the Brainstorming Room of the Cafe Society **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728 "2003-08-03T16:21:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jeanster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc348/32.png) [@jeanster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeanster)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/1 "2003-08-03T16:21:44Z")
The scene is the brainstorming room in the Cafe Society. Seated around the table are **Jeff Olsen** , **Baker** , **kingpenvin** , **Kn\*ckers** , **jeanster** , **RealTronic** , **FairyDust** and **LookitMe**. The door opens and in walks Abner “Slim” McLeod. “Slim,” says **Jeff Olsen**. “Glad you could make it.” “Wild horses couldn’t keep me away, Jeff, when I heard a sequel was going to be written starring yours truly,” beams Slim. “What on earth did I ever do to deserve such an honor?” “Uh, Slim, there’s something I should tell you about this sequel,” says **Jeff Olsen**. “I get to gamble, right? There has to be a card game in it,” says Slim. “Yes, of course,” says **Jeff Olsen**. “Like I was saying, Slim, there’s something I should tell you --” Slim looks at the others seated around the table. “Are these my writers?” he asks. Everyone nods. “Great!” The door opens and in walks Everet Everhsham who nods and waves. “Howdy, folks. I just came in for a cup of coffee. Don’t let me disturb you. Carry on.” Everet quickly pours himself a cup of coffee from the pot, adds some cream and sugar, then leaves. Slim looks puzzled, then asks **Jeff Olsen** , “Who was that?” **Jeff Olsen** looks a little uncomfortable. “Everet Everhsham. Uh, he’s a new character who will be appearing in the sequel.” “Oh. You mean I get a sidekick?” “Well, I guess you could think of him that way,” says Jeff. “Tell him, Jeff,” says **Baker**. “Yeah, he may as well know,” says **Kn\*ckers**. “Know what?” asks Slim. “Uh, Slim, did you ever have a desire to do any, uh, experimenting?” asks **Jeff Olsen**. “Experimenting? Oh, you mean with chemicals and microscopes?” “Uh, no,” says **Jeff Olsen**. He whispers into Slim’s ear. Slim is very quiet for a moment. “O-kay. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. It’s just not what I was expecting. Ever.” “Slim, you have to admit Everet is damn good-looking, right?” says **jeanster**. “Well, yeah.” “Okay, folks, let’s get to writing this story,” says **Jeff Olsen**. “Uh, Jeff?” “Yes, Slim?” “How’s about you put me in the sci-fi story instead of this sequel? I can do sci-fi. I’ve always wanted to do sci-fi. In fact it’s been my lifelong dream ever since I was a little kid to do sci-fi.” “Slim, you’re a Mississippi riverboat gambler from the days of the old Wild West. How can we work you into sci-fi? No, no. You just star in [this sequel](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=199167). We’ll make it work.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/2 "2003-08-03T19:32:41Z")
Well, well, I hadn’t contributed but the one post to the sequel, and now I see it’s taken, hmm, an _interesting_ direction. But as for Slim and sci-fi, I know I made a threat against people in the Western thread if they took his surname too seriously. However, I have to ask. Has Slim ever received a _really_ serious injury, something everyone thought would be the _death_ of him? And the name I gave the sheriff? I had been thinking at first we could work this According to Jeff Olsen, the Palace burned in 1883, do a little looking around and what famous figure came to San Franciso in 1882? I’ve got to get back into this thread. The way it’s developed I don’t think I’ll have Slim go back to Anerson’s Gulch anytime soon though. I’d thought that a sequel to \* that would have Sally having a cruch on him. Don’t think she’s ready for Slim just yet. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/3 "2003-08-03T19:44:29Z")
That’s _Anderson’s_ and _crush_! Preview is my friend. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/4 "2003-08-03T20:17:36Z")
Everet leaves the Brainstorming Room of the Cafe Society and walks across the hall. He opens another door and enters the room. The occupants seated in there all turn toward him. “Where’s the pie?” asks Evelyn. “Pie?” “Everet, dearest, I distinctly remember telling you, ‘When come back, bring pie,’ right before you left to get coffee,” says Evelyn. “They didn’t have any pie. Just coffee.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, of course I’m sure.” Maximilian Montreal says, “I bet they ate all the pie. It would be just like them to do that. The greedy hogs. Writers are like that.” “I’ll bet it was apple pie. And it wouldn’t surprise me if it came with ice cream, too,” says Big Deke. “I’m hungry. Want pie NOW!” “Let’s send out for some,” says James. “Where’s the phone?” “Don’t you remember?” says Sheriff Tom Cunningham. “They took away the phone after SOMEONE made one too many prank phone calls.” Everyone in the room turns to stare at Max who squirms nervously at them. Lee Mai Siang who had been reading a magazine then says, “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m hungry for some dim sum. And my favorite restaurant that serves it is just two blocks from here. Who’s with me?” Everyone cheers and gets up to leave with Siang. “Shouldn’t we see if Slim wants to join us?” asks Everet. “Why don’t you go across the hall and ask him? We’ll meet you at the restaurant. It’s the Silver Dragon two blocks east from here,” says Siang. “Okay,” says Everet. ---
**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/5 "2003-08-03T20:58:31Z")
Everet knocks and opens the door to the Brainstorming Room of the Cafe Society. “Excuse me,” says Everet. “Hello, Slim. I’d know you anywhere from the description I was given. I’m Everet Everhsham. Just wanted to know if you want to join the others and me for dim sum.” “Uh, sure. That’s sound fine,” says Slim. “The others have already left. We can leave now and meet them at the restaurant.” “Hold on there!” cries **Jeff Olsen**. “They LEFT? You mean they LEFT THE BUILDING?! Sheriff Cunningham, Max, Evelyn, James, Siang and the others LEFT THE BUILDING?!” “Well, yeah,” says Everet. “Is that a problem?” “Shit!” says **Jeff Olsen**. He picks up the phone. “Get me security!” “What’s wrong?” asks Slim. But **Jeff Olsen** doesn’t answer him. Beads of sweat appear on his forehead and he is visibly nervous. “Worlds colliding,” he mutters. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/6 "2003-08-03T21:35:00Z")
Hey, my first appearance in a “behind the scenes” thread! I’m honored. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/7 "2003-08-03T21:36:49Z")
“They don’t take reservations here,” says Lee Mai Siang. “But the food is great.” They wait. Twenty minutes go by. The group notices other customers entering the restaurant after them are being given tables. “That’s weird,” says Siang. He goes over to the woman at the podium. “Excuse me, but we were ahead of those other people. Why did they get tables and we’re still standing here?” Evelyn whispers to James, “Doesn’t this seem familiar in a eerie way?” “Yes. Wait a second! Didn’t something like this happen in an episode of Seinfeld?” “That’s it!” Meanwhile back at the Brainstorming Room of the Cafe Society: “You mean they just walked out of the building and you didn’t stop them?” says **Jeff Olsen** to the security guard. “Was I supposed to?” asks the security guard in sincere puzzlement. **Jeff Olsen** sighs. “You’re new here, aren’t you?” “Yes, sir. Just started today.” “So you didn’t get the memo that was sent out a month ago. The memo that’s kept in the binder at the Guard’s Desk.” “Memo? Binder?” “Never mind.” **Jeff Olsen** mutters again, “Worlds colliding.” ---
**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/8 "2003-08-03T21:54:40Z")
“I can’t believe they just walked out of the building without so much as a howdy-doo,” says **Jeff Olsen**. He turns to say something to Slim, but Slim is not there. Neither is Everet. Everet and Slim are outside headed toward the Silver Dragon restaurant. “Do you think this is wise? He seemed upset that the others left,” says Slim. “Why lock the barn door after the horses have already run out?” says Everet. “Aren’t you hungry?” “As a matter of fact, I am,” says Slim. “There’s the restaurant up yonder,” says Everet. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/9 "2003-08-03T22:27:48Z")
They enter the restaurant in time to see Big Deke holding the podium up above his head. “You’re going to give us a table NOW, or I’m going to throw this here podium through your aquarium over there,” says Big Deke. “Yes, yes! Come this way,” says the woman holding some menus. Big Deke sets down the podium and they follow the woman to a table large enough to accomodate their group. “Thank you,” says Siang. “We’re just going to have tea and dim sum.” “Speak for yourself, Siang. I’ll also have a plate of the fried noodles with beef and vegetables,” says Big Deke. “That sounds delicious. I’ll have that, too,” says Max. “We could order several large platters,” says Siang. "The fried noodles with beef and vegetables and some others. Then we can all share. That’s how it’s traditionally done here in these restaurants. “All that food on top of dim sum? Can we eat all that?” says Evelyn. “Sure,” says Big Deke. “Oh, I see you two finally got here,” says Sheriff Cunningham. “Sit down and join us.” Slim and Everet sit down. Everet introduces Slim to the others. “It may interest you all to know that a certain writer back at the Brainstorming Room is less than thrilled that we all took off for lunch,” says Everet. “Really?” says Evelyn. “Yes, really.” Meanwhile back at the Brainstorming Room: **Baker** says, “You look like you’re going to explode, **Jeff**. Calm down. So they went out to lunch. So what?” “You don’t understand, **Baker**.” “So enlighten me. What did you mean by ‘Worlds colliding’?” ---
**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/10 "2003-08-03T23:05:47Z")
“I can’t get the hang of these things,” says Big Deke struggling with the chopsticks. “Hold the sticks like this,” says Siang demonstrating. “Or we could ask the waitress to get you a fork.” “Make that two forks,” says Max. “I can’t work these things either.” “It’s not that difficult. You just have to be patient,” says Evelyn. “I’m too hungry to be patient,” says Max. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/11 "2003-08-03T23:15:31Z")
**Baker** and the other writers stare at **Jeff Olsen** as he explains what he means by ‘Worlds colliding’. They realize now how serious the situation is. “Well, let’s just go find them and bring them back,” says **kingpengvin**. “We don’t even know where they went,” says **Jeff Olsen**. “Fan out and search every nearby restaurant,” says **Baker**. The writers all head outside. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/12 "2003-08-04T00:34:22Z")
_sits there in front of the general store, sipping his sarsaparilla and watching the “headed to the Chinese restaurant, eventually, fire drill”_ ---
**Author:** ![jeanster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc348/32.png) [@jeanster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeanster)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/13 "2003-08-04T01:16:45Z")
Each writer carries a cell phone. **Baker** finds the group at the Silver Dragon. She calls the other writers. “They’re here at the Silver Dragon restaurant! Hurry!” Minutes later the other writers join **Baker**. But they are too late. The effects of worlds colliding begins. Slim, Everet, Siang and the rest of the group are in the midst of eating their dim sum and noodle dishes when suddenly everything gets blurry. Each member of the group drifts into unconsciousness. And so do the writers. They awaken minutes later to find themselves in the sequel that **Jeff Olsen** had begun to write. Slim has already sold his horse in Leadville. He has also already dined and bathed. He has now boarded the Pacific Flyer headed to San Francisco on his way to the big card game. He has no memory of ever having met the others in the group or any of the writers, not even **Jeff Olsen**. Slim’s adventure proceeds, only this time a group of newcomers is aboard the Pacific Flyer: the writers who only less than an hour ago were in the Brainstorming Room of the Cafe Society. The writers awaken to find themselves no longer in the Silver Dragon restaurant. They are in Cheyenne boarding the Pacific Flyer, and they are dressed in clothing of that time period: the late 1800’s. **Jeff Olsen** tries not to panic. He knows that the longer they stay in this strange world the more of their memories they will lose. They will eventually forget their lives and loved ones back home and will believe they are of this time period. He and the other writers peek over at the cabin where Sheriff Tom Cunningham sits. He is soon joined by Abner “Slim” McLeod. **Baker** sees **Jeff Olsen**. She moves over to him and taps him on his arm. “ **Jeff** , how are we going to get out of here?” she asks, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/14 "2003-08-04T02:27:34Z")
_Wyatt pauses for a moment to examine his sarsaparilla glass … wow!!! What a rush!!! he thinks to himself, as he looks out the train window …_ ---
**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/15 "2003-08-04T03:25:44Z")
**Jeff Olsen** tries hard to think of a way out of their predicament, but he can feel his grasp on his memories slowly eroding. Don’t panic, he tells himself. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m going to completely forget who I really am, and I’ll be lost in this imaginary world! Aaagghh! And so will my fellow writers! He and the other writers look over to see a thin pale man join the sheriff and the gambler. That’s, uh, um, thinks **Kn\*ckers** , oh hell! What IS that guy’s name? And I’m the one who names him! Aaagghh! I can’t remember what I dub him. Uh-oh. What’s MY name? Oh, no! ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/16 "2003-08-04T03:35:29Z")
**Baker** says, “Maybe if we all click our heels three times and say, ‘There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.’ Is it worth a try?” **Jeff Olsen** stares at her blankly. He wonders who this woman is speaking to him in riddles and rambling on about heel clicking. **Baker** says, “Oh, come on! I’m desperate! I want to go home!” She is on the verge of bursting into tears. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/17 "2003-08-04T06:22:16Z")
**Baker** just manages to get hold of herself, because, being from Kansas in the real world, she _hates_ Oz jokes. “There’s got to be a way to turn this around” she mutters to herself. A last desperate thought occurs to her. “ **Jeff!** ” she yells, “Everybody! We can get back. Just rewrite the story, think of altern…” But she finally lost her train of thought, and sat down in one of the seats, to look at the passing scenery. ---
**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/18 "2003-08-04T15:23:42Z")
**LookitMe** is torn between hanging on to what was left of her memories and allowing herself to be swept away into this new world that would allow her to start fresh with a new life. No more of the hurried, fast-paced hectic lifestyle of the 21st century. Maybe she would prefer the slower-paced lifestyle of a bygone era. But can she bear to give up e-mail, the Internet, posting on the SDMB, and coffee shops? She would have to decide quickly, for she could feel her memories slipping away. ---
**Author:** ![jeanster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc348/32.png) [@jeanster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeanster)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/19 "2003-08-04T15:53:32Z")
The waitress at the Silver Dragon restaurant looks for members of that large party at Table Four. They are nowhere to be found. She checks the restrooms and searches entire interior of the restaurant. “They stiffed me!” she says angrily. “I’ll be watching for them if they ever set foot inside this restaurant again!” Meanwhile a young teenaged boy curiously enters the Brainstorming Room of the Café Society. It is none other than **Kid Czarcasm** , the mod’s kid. He had heard rumors that several large bakery boxes were delivered here earlier in the day. **Kid Czarcasm** is hungry for pie, preferably chocolate crème pie, so he searches the room. He is disappointed to find no pastries of any kind. There are empty bakery boxes in the large trash barrel. He decides to go downstairs to buy a chocolate bar from the vending machine when he notices something on the large table. It is a medallion. He picks it up and examines it. The soft green texture is cool to his touch. It is shaped like a phoenix. **Kid Czarcasm** decides to take it to the Lost and Found Department since it looks like the room is deserted and he does not know if the owner of this medallion will return later. He slips it around his neck so as not to lose it while on his way to the vending machine. But a moment after the medallion is placed around his neck **Kid Czarcasm** vanishes from the Brainstorming Room. The next instant he finds himself on board the Pacific Flyer train headed toward San Francisco. He is dressed in cowboy clothes. The medallion is still around his neck. The Jade Phoenix Medallion allows **Kid Czarcasm** to retain his memories while back in this time period of the late 1800’s. The mod’s kid is startled and confused by his new surroundings. He does not recognize anyone at first. Then he is surprised and relieved to see a familiar face: **Jeff Olsen** who had greeted **Kid Czarcasm** earlier before heading for the Brainstorming Room to meet with the other writers. “ **Jeff Olsen**!” he says smiling. But **Jeff Olsen** does not turn to greet the mod’s kid. **Kid Czarcasm** is puzzled, so he taps **Jeff** ’s arm. **Jeff Olsen** looks at the mod’s kid and smiles. “Yes, son? Can I help you?” “ **Jeff** , where are we?” asks **Kid Czarcasm**. “I’m sorry, son. Have we met? My name isn’t Jeff. It’s Matt. Matt Johnson.” **Kid Czarcasm** stares in confusion at the man he knew as **Jeff Olsen**. I must be dreaming, thinks the mod’s kid. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728/20 "2003-08-04T17:14:20Z")
_With a sense of wild abandon, **Wyatt** orders another sarsaparilla from the train steward, and looks around cautiously, to make sure this is not a handbasket he and the story are traveling in…_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-day-in-the-brainstorming-room-of-the-cafe-society/192728.md?page=2)