# One line character summaries that sparkle **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 30, 2020, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841 "2020-06-30T20:03:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2020, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/1 "2020-06-30T20:03:18Z")
Not sure if this has been done before – it’s a tough subject to search the boards for. But what I was thinking of was that one- or two-line quote that captures some aspect of the subject’s character so well that it sparkles. Most of these are, I suspect, not too flattering. Lyndon Johnson, regarding FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover: > [@](#): > > It’s probably better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in. But some are favourable - John Cleese on Peter Cook: > [@](#): > > Most of us have to grind away for something like six or seven hours – that’s what Chapman and I used to reckon – to produce three minutes of material, whereas for the first fifteen or twenty years of Peter’s professional life it took him exactly three minutes to produce three minutes of material ……” Sometimes it’s not so easy to say whether the sentiment is entirely positive or negative. Here’s a particular favourite which has resonated down the ages – Lady Caroline Lamb on Lord Byron: > [@](#): > > Mad, bad and dangerous to know. Wow. That was her lover, by the way, So here’s the idea: I like these because they effortlessly capture something about the subject – how many can we come up with? They’re short, but a word limit would be ridiculous; many are about the famous, but that’s not a requirement. And they could be about people from any walk of life. Like football (soccer) player Stan Bowles, for example, of whom his manager Ernie Tagg, famously said: > [@](#): > > If he could pass a betting shop as well as he passes a football, he’d be a very rich man. What have you got? j ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2020, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/2 "2020-06-30T20:19:59Z")
Dr Samuel Johnson on the poet Richard Savage: > He contented himself with the applause of men of judgment; and was somewhat disposed to exclude all those from the character of men of judgment who did not applaud him. ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2020, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/3 "2020-06-30T22:27:23Z")
Madame de Rémusat on Talleyrand - “The contempt of his silence was impressive.” Dorothy Parker on Basil Rathbone - “Two profiles pasted together.” J.J. Hunsecker (Burt Lancaster) to Sidney Falco (Tony Curtis) in _Sweet Smell of Success_ (1957) - “I’d hate to take a bite outta you. You’re a cookie full of arsenic.” Baseball general manager Buzzie Bavasi on outfielder Willie Davis - “He had million dollar legs and a ten cent head.” Don Rickles to Frank Sinatra - “Make yourself at home, Frank. Hit somebody.” ---
**Author:** ![gdave](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gdave/32/3683_2.png) [@gdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gdave)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2020, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/4 "2020-06-30T23:02:39Z")
I can’t remember where I read or heard this, so I can’t properly attribute it (or remember it exactly right, for that matter), but of Winston Churchill, something along the lines of: “He had more bad ideas during his morning bath than most politicians have during their entire careers.” ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2020, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/5 "2020-06-30T23:46:38Z")
> Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I’ll waste no time reading it. > This book fills a much-needed gap. Moses Hadas (Writer) ---
**Author:** ![SwissMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@SwissMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwissMan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/6 "2020-07-01T00:21:46Z")
George Best’s description of how he lived his life: “I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered.” I can’t credit a particular person as the inventor of it, but the following description of Newt Gingrich: “A stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/7 "2020-07-01T01:57:52Z")
I’ve always liked Marlon Brando’s disdain for Bob Hope in an old Playboy Interview: “Bob Hope would accept an award from Thom McAnn for wearing their shoes.” ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/8 "2020-07-01T03:06:27Z")
Miles Kington on the 19th-century French humorist Alphonse Allais: “Like most Frenchmen he loved a good pun and rather liked a bad one.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/9 "2020-07-01T03:18:15Z")
I believe Frankie Boyle described Boris Johnson thusly: “He couldn’t out-maneuver a _statue_ of Stephen Hawking.” If it wasn’t Boris Johnson, I can’t remember who, but it was great. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/10 "2020-07-01T05:24:37Z")
My contribution probably misses the whole idea, but we have favorite movie quotes. One is from _The Coal Miner’s Daughter_: Doolittle Lynn (Tommy Lee Jones) answers the phone in a foul mood. “It’s two o’clock in the Goddamn morning. What the Hell do you want?” Another is from _Mr Mom_: Michael Keaton is trying to impress Teri Garr’s boss while wielding a chainsaw and bragging he’s going to add a wing onto their house. The boss (Martin Mull) asks him if he’s going to put in 220. Mixhael Keaton say, “220, 221, whatever it takes.” ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/11 "2020-07-01T07:38:47Z")
The follow-up to that was supposedly when his manager went into his hotel room to find Best in bed with a Miss World, drinking champagne with hundreds of pounds in loose notes scattered around. His manager said ‘George, where did it all go wrong?’. ---
**Author:** ![Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiendish_astronaut/32/3295_2.png) [@Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiendish_Astronaut)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/12 "2020-07-01T08:15:25Z")
Frankie Boyle also said of Boris Johnson: “He’s just there to divert us from the horrific things the government is planning, like a nodding dog stuck to a serial killer’s dashboard.” On Trump he said: “He is a super-villain in a world without heroes, a man so obnoxious and unhappy that karma may see him reincarnated as himself.” ---
**Author:** ![SwissMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@SwissMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwissMan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/13 "2020-07-01T14:53:10Z")
I hope Georgie’s answer was “where did _what_ go wrong?” ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/14 "2020-07-01T18:10:13Z")
# “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.” George Best was quoting either George Raft, or W.C. Fields, both of whom used the line in the 1940s. The earliest known quote is from a 1936 _Readers Digest_, which attributes it to a playwright and critic named Channing Pollock. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/15 "2020-07-01T18:25:13Z")
“A modest man, with much to be modest about.” Originally by Voltaire. Later said by Winston Churchill about Clement Atlee, and by Ronald Reagan about Hubert Humphrey. Victor Mature once applied to join a country club. He was told that the club never admitted actors. He replied, “I’m not an actor — and I’ve got 64 films to prove it!” ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2020, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-character-summaries-that-sparkle/913841/16 "2020-07-01T18:29:44Z")
Not a person, but a team – Oakland Raiders quarterback Ken Stabler said this of himself and his teammates, who were known for off-field exploits, during the 1970s: " “We were the only pro team who traveled with its own bail bondsman.”