# One line email judgment call question need answer fast **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471 "2014-07-18T17:57:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/1 "2014-07-18T17:57:47Z")
> [@](#): > > To the extent possible, I am requesting that I be invited to any meeting that takes place between any member(s) of (my department) and any other (my organization) personnel. I know you don’t _really_ know enough about context to make this judgment call for me and I’m not asking you to. I just want to do a crazy check. Am I going to sound too crazy for sending this email out to my supervisor and “uncles” (i.e. on the org chart)? You can probably guess what would lead me to want to. Things have happened where members of my department met with people from other departments, then everybody came out of these meetings with different ideas about what was said. And of course no body put anything in an email because that would be too easy. I just want to be there. I’m really good at making sure things are clear and people understand each other (and fucking putting it on paper afterwards, idiots, oops did I say that out loud?). But I don’t want to spill the whole story in the email because who wants to read all that. I just want them to have me there. And that seems reasonable. Doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/2 "2014-07-18T18:00:00Z")
Are you a supervisor or manager of your department, or merely a member of it? ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/3 "2014-07-18T18:00:54Z")
Supervisor. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/4 "2014-07-18T18:01:12Z")
Your request is reasonable but your email makes you seem like a despot. If you soften it up a bit I imagine it would go over a lot better. Such as: > [@](#): > > Hello team, > > In order to prevent some miscommunications that have happened in the past and make sure we’re all on the same page, please include me in any meetings that involve members of (my department). > > Thanks for your help, > Frylock ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/5 "2014-07-18T18:01:37Z")
Are these meetings involving superiors, peers, or subordinates? If this is an unsolicited request, I’m not sure how I would handle it, if I was your boss. A lot of it would have to do with your relationships with your co-workers and supervisor. ETA: I think **Yellowjacketcoder** nailed it. You should explain why you think your presence is necessary, rather than just coming across as nosy or a busybody. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/6 "2014-07-18T18:03:36Z")
Are you a manager? If not, you might come across as just an interfering jerk. Why not discuss with your supervisor the need for people in your department to follow up by email on what gets agreed to in meetings with other departments? Give him some examples where different people had different ideas afterwards. Meetings 101 states that minutes are required. ETA: nm. I see you are the supervisor now. Ask for minutes, or an email. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/7 "2014-07-18T18:06:23Z")
Yeah I think I’m not going to send it. I can just talk to people about this. If it continues to be a problem, then I can think about sending such a request. Thanks guys. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/8 "2014-07-18T18:09:07Z")
Just tell your supervisor, let him tell your uncles. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/9 "2014-07-18T18:13:09Z")
As written you are coming across as a micromanaging ahole. Soften it way up, or train your people to take lots of notes in the meetings and have them get everyone to agree, then they can come brief you. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/10 "2014-07-18T18:13:26Z")
I think it is reasonable to request, in the most relaxed possible terms, that you be involved in any meeting between a member of your SUPERVISED staff and any other person in the company. A second sentence would stress that you are seeking clarity and common focus for such meetings. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/11 "2014-07-18T18:13:28Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > Just tell your supervisor, let him tell your uncles. I would agree with that in the abstract. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/12 "2014-07-18T18:15:26Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I think it is reasonable to request, in the most relaxed possible terms, that you be involved in any meeting between a member of your SUPERVISED staff and any other person in the company. A second sentence would stress that you are seeking clarity and common focus for such meetings. Yep, I changed it up along just those lines. Then I decided to just leave off entirely–I can handle this in person and start writing emails later if it proves to be a continuing problem. I was reacting in the moment to a particular situation, I’m glad I waited to think about it. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/13 "2014-07-18T18:18:51Z")
Its not an unreasonable request but it could be phrased more happily. One thing you can do with regards to your staff is when they get out of such a meeting, have them send an email to the meeting organizer and CC you and just summarize the meeting to confirm if its correct. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/14 "2014-07-18T18:26:47Z")
I would alternately say “When you go to a meeting with someone outside if the org, someone will take notes and distribute them via email to the attendees the same day and cc me. If no one else does it you will. In this email you will state that these points are what we discussed and agreed upon and if no one replies I we will assume everyone is in agreement.” I would make it sound more like other departments are causing this necessity, not that you don’t trust your own folks. But that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/15 "2014-07-18T18:37:40Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I can handle this in person and start writing emails later if it proves to be a continuing problem.about it. Good on you. Too many bosses think everything can (or should!) be done by email. Thanks for working it out in person first. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/16 "2014-07-18T20:04:50Z")
Agree with others that it isn’t phrased the best. I would say something (if it ends up necessary after your in-person discussions) like “We really need to have minutes taken of meetings just so we avoid some of the confusion that can occur when people have different takeaways from a discussion. If there’s ever a meeting where no one is prepared to take sufficient notes/minutes, I’d be happy to attend and take notes for everyone.” You’re saying there’s a problem and offering a solution. ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/17 "2014-07-18T20:12:11Z")
Maybe ask people to email you a quick recap of what was discussed in/outcomes of the meetings? Then you don’t have to be there, AND you get at least something written down. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/18 "2014-07-18T20:52:42Z")
Just to provide a bit of context: It seems that Mr. **Frylock** has just recently suffered a major promotion to a higher level of management than he has suffered heretofore, and is in [the process of learning the ropes of his new exalted position](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=17500144). He certainly doesn’t want to make a clumsy false move and blow it all! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/19 "2014-07-18T21:19:04Z")
E-mails like that rarely solve problems. In my experience, everyone gets about 8 million emails every day and I guarantee the impact will be somewhat negative even if the person is willing and generally forgot/ignored other than a small percentage of people. Problems like these require personal contact with other people, build relationships, problem solve together, much more likely to be received well and followed up on. Also, it’s pretty rare to have enough time to attend every meeting and is probably wasteful (your situation may be different). Make sure the people that report to you are helping the process by recapping at the end of the meeting if nobody else is (e.g. “…just so I understand, Fred you’re going to fix widget A and send it to me, and then I’m going to dip it in chocolate before I send it on to Susan, right?”) ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471/20 "2014-07-18T22:15:19Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I was reacting in the moment to a particular situation, I’m glad I waited to think about it. There is nothing so focusing as the discarded rant letter. You’ll either reconsider or feel better, or be more measured in your second pass at it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-line-email-judgment-call-question-need-answer-fast/693471.md?page=2)