# One of my sillier patients **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 8, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098 "2003-11-08T19:03:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/41 "2003-11-10T20:32:34Z")
As someone who has had albuterol reactions in the past after two puffs – oh, man, that poor bastard. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/42 "2003-11-10T20:51:30Z")
Thank you for taking some time away from licking and slithering all over the hull to regale us, dear **Qadgop.**. Laughing out loud in my cube, Gazelle ---
**Author:** ![Badge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Badge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badge)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/43 "2003-11-10T20:59:21Z")
It’s nice to hear that these guys don’t get any smarter after we ship them in, **Qadgop**! Thanks for a great story! ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/44 "2003-11-10T21:01:45Z")
Why do stupid criminals rely so often on lists? ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/45 "2003-11-10T21:15:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan \* > **It’s hard to kill yourself with an albuterol inhaler if you’re young and healthy. Sort of like trying to commit suicide by using a week’s worth of nicotine patches and two pots of coffee** So you’re saying that if you have asthma, then a good home remedy is smoking 14 packs of Marlboro Lights and drinking 24 cups of coffee? Cool! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/46 "2003-11-11T00:55:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enola Straight \* > \*\* Taking into consideration the patients are convicted prisoners and you anonymized their identities, is it unethical to violate Doctor/Patient Confidentiality in posting this thread? \*\* I don’t see how. I’ve followed standard anonymization procedures for both printed and electronic (HIPAA) media. I myself am anonymized, which is usually not even the case. The facts have been adjusted enough so that even if you did discover exactly who I am and where I work, you’d have over 8000 potential candidate patients to choose from. If you armed yourself with legal writs based on open-law records and spent weeks combing the records available to you, you’d still lack access to the patients’ actual medical records, their disciplinary records, etc. Good luck. This doesn’t come anywhere _near_ breaching doctor/patient confidentiality. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/47 "2003-11-11T05:40:33Z")
Okie-doke. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/48 "2003-11-11T05:42:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enola Straight \* > \*\*Not to ruin the mood of the thread, but… > > Taking into consideration the patients are convicted prisoners and you anonymized their identities, is it unethical to violate Doctor/Patient Confidentiality in posting this thread? \*\* HE didn’t use names, just told us about a patient. When I was in therapy, my counselor often used examples of other patients in my condition, who experienced the same sorts of things. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/49 "2003-11-11T11:22:32Z")
Too damn funny. Thanks **QtM**! ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/50 "2003-11-11T17:36:16Z")
The To-Do-List was really funny. Thanks **QtM** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/51 "2003-11-11T18:16:53Z")
Number #6 has obviously read _The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisoners_. Was any of the to-do list checked off? Too funny. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/52 "2003-11-11T18:23:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ca3799 \* > frogmarch? In case this wasn’t already explained - I assume this is the odd shuffling walk that prisoners do when handcuffed and in legirons. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/53 "2003-11-11T19:26:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*[This](http://www.apa.org/journals/psp/psp7761121.html) proves it! \*\* I love the job description for comedians that the authors offer: > [@](#): > > We then compared [the subjects’] ratings [of jokes] with those provided by a panel of experts, namely, professional comedians _who make their living by recognizing what is funny and reporting it to their audiences_ Heh, heh. (Italics added.) ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/54 "2003-11-12T13:12:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bughunter \* > \*\*So you’re saying that if you have asthma, then a good home remedy is smoking 14 packs of Marlboro Lights and drinking 24 cups of coffee? > > Cool! \*\* Actually, the hot coffee will help. Mr. singular has severe asthma attacks, and the first line of defense is very hot, strong tea. The hot liquid helps to open up the pipes. In the interest of fighting ignorance, y’know… ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098/55 "2003-11-12T17:54:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \* > \*\*In case this wasn’t already explained - I assume this is the odd shuffling walk that prisoners do when handcuffed and in legirons. \*\* I assumed the same, but looked it up on [www.dictionary.com](http://www.dictionary.com) anyway. Definition 2 is quite amusing and fits the tone of the story as well: frogmarch v 1: march a person against his will by any method 2: carry someone against his will upside down such that each limb is held by one person [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-my-sillier-patients/212098.md?page=2)