Well, that just sucks.
I’m really sorry to hear it, phouka.
I can’t really add anything but to express my condolences. What a horrible shame 
- looks around *
Um, this is the pit, right?
Eat shit, you fuckin’ asshole. You’re the reason that Christians have a bad name. There is a time and place for everything, and this ain’t the place for your holier-than-thou condescending pseudo Christian bullshit.
Fuckin’ Godder.
My condolences, Phouka. That’s a horrible story, and a horrible end to a young man with his whole life in front of him.
cole burner: A friend of mine died when I was in High School. He was a lot like the boy described in the OP. It was very difficult for all of to get through. We all went to the funeral, and a speaker got up to talk to us. He gave a speech that basically tried to convert all of us so we would be “saved” if we died young, thereby implying that our friend was not saved, as he was not an avid church-goer. Why did I bring this up? So these comments will not seem out of context: Fuck you. Fuck you for thinking now is a good time for your pathetic little soapbox. Fuck you again for making me remember how painful that day was all those years ago. Grow the fuck up and learn how to behave like a fucking human being. I despise every last inch of your pathetic, slimy ass. I have never used this language in seriousness on these boards, and I never hope to again. You disgust me.
Phouka, I am so sorry. Be strong not only for yourself, but for the other kids who are hurting along with you. Anything I can do to help, drop me an email. Good luck.
I haven’t managed to cry yet - though I almost did on the drive home from my ceramics course today. The responses in this thread have me pretty close to tears. I wish . . . I wish there were a way to bring you and your stories to my school so the kids would understand it’s not just the mean authority figures trying to ruin their fun.
I keep thinking of the line from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the episode where Buffy’s mom has died. Anya breaks down, saying that she doesn’t understand what she’s supposed to do. Buffy’s Mom will never brush her hair again, or yawn, or . . . why can’t she just get back in her body and not be dead anymore? I find myself reacting that way when I think of Lance. It just doesn’t seem real; I’m obviously up to my eyebrows in the Denial stage of grieving.
The yearly retreat we have is Monday and Tuesday after next, and I’m sure we’ll spend some time talking about this. I wonder what we’ll do to try to get the point across to the kids that those charming recreational substances can cost them far too much. Lance, after all, wasn’t even in the group of boys who were making tea out of the seeds of jimson weed to have hallucinations. Never mind that jimson weed is related to belladonna (Deadly Nightshade), and the dosage of strychnine that causes hallucinations isn’t too far from a fatal dose.
Oh, and apparently Lance’s dealer is another high schooler. How the hell are we going to handle that?
Everyone, thank you for your kind thoughts. I posted primarily because I needed a place to dump my pain and hear some comforting thoughts.
cole porter, I’m not sure what your point is. If you’re trying to convince people that evolution is a cold, cynical approach to life philosophy, this is not the place for it. You’ve only driven people further away from the message of salvation and love that Christians are supposed spread. If you need some guidance in presenting yourself as a true follower of Christ, I suggest you do a search on Polycarp and get to know him.
(Alternative snarky comment: cole porter, the best evolutionary advantage human beings have is - unlike other lifeforms - we care for those of our species who might not be able to survive on their own. We show compassion to those who are less fortunate. If we weren’t this way, you probably would have been fed to rabid wolves as a young boy.)
And creationism says what?? Some kids die because demons made them do drugs? How the fuck is that any better?
Off the road and through the ditch goes the thread…
Dopers, please don’t forget who wrote this thread, and who it was for. Comments by ColeBurner are but a blip in the big scheme of things…don’t waste your angst on him/her please. His/her comments really don’t matter at all here. They cannot detract from phouka’s sadness, nor can they minimise the tragedy that was Lance’s passing.
Be at peace Lance. Your death has touched more people than you could ever have imagined. We are (for the most part) better for having ‘known’ you, however briefly and remotely.
Take care everybody.
You’re a contemptible little prick, who hides behind the anonymity of the internet to make pronouncements that in real life would earn you a swift kicking. A deserved one at that.
Phouka - my condolences.
It’s not too late, you know.
cole burner, I don’t like you.
This is an apology to phouka for posting in this thread of grieving and sorrow with material that was not supportive of the grieving and sorrow. It was the wrong place to point out what I did. I am sorry.
By the way, I am no Christian, I don’t know how anyone go that idea. I was speaking about how evolution works, how does that make me religious? Just the opposite, I assure you. There is no magical invisible man in the sky in my world.
Good on you, **cole burner **.
Whether I agree with you or not you earned my respect for at least coming in here and apologizing.
cole burner, I like you again.
Let’s just say, cole burner, that the approach you took was so crass and insensitive, it was easier to believe that you were trying to sway people against accepting evolution as the best explanation for how we got here. If you really are a proponent of evolution, please do some reading up on it, work on your style of persuasion, and think before you post. Right now, you’ve done more harm than good to the cause you support.
However, I do appreciate your apology and wish you well.
Back to the original topic, I have something new to be angry about.
I just called the district office to get information on Lance’s memorial service. I mentioned to our secretary that if she hadn’t already, perhaps she could consider calling the other teachers to notify them of Lance’s death in time to get to the memorial service.
There is no official notification, just word of mouth, and the principal - who I otherwise respect and adore - is satisfied with that. If I hadn’t stopped by the bakery run by the parents of a former student, I wouldn’t have found out about it until the retreat.
Come on, guys! Is this such a hard concept to get? There are 130 students in the high school and 20 teachers in the entire district. Is it so fucking difficult to run through the summer phone list and leave messages for people?
I would be heartbroken - more than I already am - if I had found out too late to attend the memorial service. Right now, I’m feeling a little puny that the office staff knew I would be out of town for the entire summer, and no one thought to let me know. I can’t be the only teacher in this situation.
Crap.
But thank you again for your kind words. It really does help.