# One of the greatest (but lesser known) useful bits of wisdom is... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 26, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603 "2003-10-26T02:52:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/21 "2003-10-27T05:27:05Z")
Everything comes down to poo in the end. Not really advice, but it is the basis for a pretty freeing philosophy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/22 "2003-10-27T06:22:52Z")
I suppose you’re right. Everything we eat turns to shit. Everything our livestock eats…we use that to fertilize our gardens and then eat that. We die and the worms eat us and turn us to shit. Plants, trees, & etc. die. The bugs, worms, and all animal life turn that into crap and on and on. So, I guess it’s kinda like **pervert** said, Don’t worry, screw it …it’s all crap anyway. 😉 Hey, ya gotta kill them cancer cells whenever ya can. I got another bit of wisdom. I had to know when I was a kid. I actually counted the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-roll pop. I think I’ll hang onto that little bit of info. awhile longer. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/23 "2003-10-27T06:59:37Z")
Never pet a burning dog. Also, don’t set dogs on fire. Some of them bite. ---
**Author:** ![Adamcomic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/977dab/32.png) [@Adamcomic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adamcomic)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/24 "2003-10-27T09:29:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\* > Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. \*\* This one, and many, many more can be found in the Notebooks of Lazarus Long section of Robert A Heinlein’s “Time Enough For Love”. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/25 "2003-10-27T10:31:21Z")
> [@](#): > > I actually counted the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-roll pop. T-keela, did you by any chance present this information as a science-fair project? I remember, long ago, someone doing this in my class. I thought it was hilarious. Wish I could remember their results, tho. Oh… uh, “Be Excellent to Each Other!” ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/26 "2003-10-27T13:05:51Z")
Life is Like a Sewer… What you get Out of It, Depends on What you Put INTO it. ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/27 "2003-10-27T13:13:30Z")
Life is Like a Sewer… What you get Out of It, Depends on What you Put INTO it. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/28 "2003-10-27T13:16:54Z")
Your windshield is much bigger than your rear-view mirror. This can teach you something about the value of dwelling on the past. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/29 "2003-10-27T14:49:54Z")
While shaving, avoid sneezing. Most places which explicitly state requirements for shirts and shoes require pants, as well. Ward off feelings of futility by having a goal to work toward and doing something for it every day. Rub her feet. Rub her back and neck, too. In fact, just grab a random bit of her and start stroking. She’ll let you know what to do from there. Never dereference null pointers. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/30 "2003-10-27T14:57:38Z")
While shaving, avoid sneezing. Most places which explicitly state requirements for shirts and shoes require pants, as well. Ward off feelings of futility by having a goal to work toward and doing something for it every day. Rub her feet. Rub her back and neck, too. In fact, just grab a random bit of her and start stroking. She’ll let you know what to do from there. Never dereference null pointers. ---
**Author:** ![Adamcomic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/977dab/32.png) [@Adamcomic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adamcomic)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/31 "2003-10-27T16:25:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robertliguori \* > \*\* > > Rub her feet. > > \*\* Also from the aforementioned Notebooks of Lazarus Long. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/32 "2003-10-27T16:36:50Z")
It’s always in the last place you look. If you keep looking after you found it, it wasn’t lost. ---
**Author:** ![praCASH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@praCASH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/praCASH)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/33 "2003-10-27T16:40:31Z")
Nobody dies a virgin … life fucks up all ---
**Author:** ![Daftbugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Daftbugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daftbugger)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/34 "2003-10-27T16:46:00Z")
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things ---
**Author:** ![Daftbugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Daftbugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daftbugger)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/35 "2003-10-27T16:56:41Z")
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/36 "2003-10-27T17:20:54Z")
Gravity doesn’t exist. The earth just sucks. If someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES! You can tune a piano, but you can’t tune a fish. When sugar free candy packages state “Excessive consumption can cause a laxitive effect”, they ain’t lying. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/37 "2003-10-27T17:52:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anonymous Coward \* > \*\*If someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES! > > \*\* One of my favorite scenes! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/38 "2003-10-27T19:03:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AskNott \* > \*\*Your windshield is much bigger than your rear-view mirror. This can teach you something about the value of dwelling on the past. \*\* The rear window is about the same size as the windshield, though, and none of the mirrors point forward… ---
**Author:** ![RAWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@RAWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWDuke)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/39 "2003-10-27T19:08:19Z")
Things take longer than they do ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603/40 "2003-10-27T19:25:00Z")
In any crisis, keep in mind that a few years from now you’ll probably look back on this – and nervously change the subject. Always say hi to a hot MOTOS. At a minimum, it’s good practice. At a maximum, see what **robertliguori** said. Pay attention to details. Some times it DOES pay to draw to an inside straight; the trick is knowing what’s been dealt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-greatest-but-lesser-known-useful-bits-of-wisdom-is/209603.md?page=3)