# One of the world's oldest questions answered soon **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 31, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406 "2009-08-31T21:02:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/1 "2009-08-31T21:02:21Z")
My mom just called me. There was a noise outside her window. She looked outside and saw a woodchuck. Chewing on her house. I believe she may have chucked something at the chuck, but the nature and quantity of the chucking is as yet undefined. As for the chuck, he is apparently a recidivist chucker. There is evidence of long-term chucking. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/2 "2009-08-31T21:08:50Z")
I watched a woodchuck desperately scrabbling at the door to our woodshop a few weeks ago, but we keep all the chucks in a container up high, so neener neener, Mister Woodchuck. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/3 "2009-08-31T21:33:08Z")
Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Your mother’s house. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/4 "2009-08-31T21:52:27Z")
Ask her about the chicken/egg thing. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/5 "2009-08-31T22:16:09Z")
and also whether God can microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself would not be able to touch it. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/6 "2009-08-31T22:18:43Z")
[Cecil speaks on the matter](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/411/how-much-wood-would-a-woodchuck-chuck-if-a-woodchuck-could-chuck-wood) : > [@](#): > > The article reports on the work of New York state wildlife expert Richard Thomas, who found that a woodchuck could (and does) chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equivalent to the weight of the dirt, or 700 pounds. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/7 "2009-09-01T00:55:29Z")
It capable of bringing the house down. Bite by bite, foundation wall by foundation wall. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/8 "2009-09-01T02:35:01Z")
Woodchucks are land beavers (as per my fiancee… who rarely is a reliable source). ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/9 "2009-09-01T03:10:12Z")
If only she threw it a Tootsie Pop! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/10 "2009-09-01T04:17:07Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Ask her about the chicken/egg thing. That would be kind of pointless. Evolution says the egg came first. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/11 "2009-09-01T04:31:28Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > That would be kind of pointless. Evolution says the egg came first. Yeah, but common sense says that the chicken had to get laid before the egg did. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MovingTarget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@MovingTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovingTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/12 "2009-09-01T17:53:50Z")
I often find myself wanting to fashion a 15th century trebuchet in my backyard. I would use this trebuchet to hurl groundhogs into my neighbors yard. And with meticulous record keeping, I feel that I could determine once and for all, how many woodchucks wood could chuck, if wood could chuck woodchucks. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/13 "2009-09-01T18:02:45Z")
Strangely enough, my mother once had a trebuchet in her front yard. My niece built one for a movie prop. Perhaps pitcher Kerry Wood could be given a supply a woodchucks and a trebuchet… ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/14 "2009-09-01T19:38:08Z")
And yet, we’ll still probably never know how many woms a wombat could bat, if a wombat could bat woms. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/15 "2009-09-01T20:58:01Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > That would be kind of pointless. Evolution says the egg came first. but was it a chicken that laid the egg or a mutant hatched from it? ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/16 "2009-09-01T23:23:45Z")
> [@ratatoskK](#): > > Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? > > A: Your mother’s house. If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then a woodchuck would chuck wood till it upchucked. Now, how much wood would a woodchuck upchuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood till it upchucked? That, I do not know. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/17 "2009-09-02T00:26:17Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Ask her about the chicken/egg thing. How do you know the woodchuck is a female??? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/18 "2009-09-02T01:09:58Z")
42? ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/19 "2009-09-02T01:29:48Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Strangely enough, my mother once had a trebuchet in her front yard. My niece built one for a movie prop. > > Perhaps pitcher Kerry Wood could be given a supply a woodchucks and a trebuchet… Unfortunately, poor Kerry’s chucking would most likely be high and outside this season. 😃 [Stats](http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?playerId=3821) ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2009, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406/20 "2009-09-02T01:32:17Z")
I always wondered… How much ground round would a ground hog hog if a ground hog were ground round? Hunh? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-the-worlds-oldest-questions-answered-soon/508406.md?page=2)