# One of these people have to die. Who do you choose?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 29, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569 "2014-05-29T16:37:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/41 "2014-05-29T23:37:54Z")

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I read them the title of this thread out loud. If any of them corrects me to “_whom_ do you choose,” I whack myself, knowing the world will be fine without me. If none of them do, Grampa gets it.

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**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\
**Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/42 "2014-05-29T23:41:15Z")

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> [@OneCentStamp](#):
>
> I read them the title of this thread out loud. If any of them corrects me to “_whom_ do you choose,” I whack myself, knowing the world will be fine without me. If none of them do, Grampa gets it.

If I mention that it should be “One of these people _has_ to die,” can I get the antidote?

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/43 "2014-05-29T23:42:17Z")

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> [@RivkahChaya](#):
>
> If I mention that it should be “One of these people _has_ to die,” can I get the antidote?

Ooh, good call.

OK, now I just kill myself for being a gleeful, annoying grammar nazi. 😛

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**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\
**Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/44 "2014-05-29T23:53:27Z")

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I say we kill “whom”. It has outlived its usefulness.

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**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/45 "2014-05-30T01:13:48Z")

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My logic is similar to many.

I’m taking one lot of the antidote.

The 42 year old smoker gets the 2nd. Just because he smokes means nothing to me, he could easily have another 40 + years ahead of him. I just recently quit (again) and I’m banking on a few more years yet.

The young bloke has been dealt a rough hand by life, it might be a mercy to end it quickly but I prefer to take the view that lets make this last 12 months as enjoyable as we can for the kid and make sure the family have some lasting memories. He gets the 3rd dose.

The old bloke has been there and done that. i’ll tell his family he died a hero, sacrificing himself for the kid.

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**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/46 "2014-05-30T01:21:35Z")

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> [@Stealth\_Potato](#):
>
> That’s a tough question, but ultimately I don’t believe I have any right to choose who among them will die. So I take all three doses of the antidote myself.
> 
> Unfortunately the poll seems to be missing that option.

I really should get to these threads earlier. That was my first thought. Take the first dose, make sure it works, sell the other two to the highest bidder.

Capitalism FTW.

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**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/47 "2014-05-30T01:28:06Z")

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Myself.

It won’t be because I really want to die. But I don’t want to have to deal with the negative fall-out of killing a sick kid, a guy in the prime of his life, or a lovable old man. Anyway you slice it, someone’s going to hate my guts. You won’t be able to google my name without finding rantings about me. My family will be ashamed to know me. My coworkers will shun me. People on the street will throw things at me. Dr. Phil will want me on his show so he can dress me down with one of his folksy wittisms, to the laughter of his big-haired audience members. They’ll pick a homely actress to play me in the made-for-TV movie.

I’d rather die than to live through all of that.

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**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/48 "2014-05-30T01:37:23Z")

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The old man may seem like excess baggage, but in truth he probably has a lot of useful knowledge and wisdom that can help defeat the Evil Mad Genius – how to disarm traps, stuff like that.

Cancer kid also gets to live. We could always use him as a distraction by throwing him at EMG’s minions while escaping the lair.

So, by process of elimination, it’s the 42yo smoker who snuffs it. I’m sick of him bumming my smokes every thirty minutes anyway.

Alternatively I could let everyone else die, and keep the extra doses of antidote for myself. If EMG can poison me once…

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**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/49 "2014-05-30T01:47:52Z")

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I do nothing because I don’t believe the madman. We all die.

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/50 "2014-05-30T01:59:14Z")

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> [@Shakes](#):
>
> I should have added “Stepping outside the hypothetical causes immediate death” in my OP.

Now that I see stepping outside the hypothetical is an option, I immediately do so. Immediate death? I don’t think so: **I’m outside the hypothetical**! You can’t touch me! Then I go around the outside of the hypothetical until I find the mad genius and I poke him through the edges of the hypothetical until he’s dead. Then it’s cotton candy for everyone!

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**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/51 "2014-05-30T02:08:54Z")

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> [@monstro](#):
>
> It won’t be because I really want to die. But I don’t want to have to deal with the negative fall-out of killing a sick kid, a guy in the prime of his life, or a lovable old man.

Who says the old guy is loveable? He could be a complete asshole. Heck, he’s old enough to be an ex-Nazi.

For that matter, the kid could be an asshole, too. Most nine years olds that I’ve met have been. Having cancer doesn’t automatically make you cute.

Nah, screw’em. Except the smoker. I trust smokers.

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/52 "2014-05-30T02:11:04Z")

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I’d ask for volunteers and if I got none I’d choose me. My life is the only life I feel that I have the right to decide about. I recognize that I make such decisions all the time that impact others, but when it’s a clear choice like this, I’d choose me.

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**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/53 "2014-05-30T02:14:03Z")

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> [@Martian Bigfoot](#):
>
> Who says the old guy is loveable? He could be a complete asshole. Heck, he’s old enough to be an ex-Nazi.
> 
> For that matter, the kid could be an asshole, too. Most nine years olds that I’ve met have been. Having cancer doesn’t automatically make you cute.
> 
> Nah, screw’em. Except the smoker. I trust smokers.

Oh, I don’t think any of them are necessarily lovable.

And yet it always seems like whenever someone dies, no matter how boring or mean he was, he instantly becomes the guy who’d give you the shirt off his back and who lights up the room. No one ever speaks ill of the dead.

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/54 "2014-05-30T02:16:30Z")

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> [@monstro](#):
>
> And yet it always seems like whenever someone dies, no matter how boring or mean he was, he instantly becomes the guy who’d give you the shirt off his back and who lights up the room.

I didn’t know this hypothetical was set in Chernobyl.

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**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/55 "2014-05-30T02:18:20Z")

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> [@cormac262](#):
>
> What is really interesting is the reasoning behind the choices, so I’ll share mine:
> 
> 89 year old man has had a long full life.

Who says? It might have been in Kansas.

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**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/56 "2014-05-30T02:34:30Z")

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> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#):
>
> Now that I see stepping outside the hypothetical is an option, I immediately do so. Immediate death? I don’t think so: **I’m outside the hypothetical**! You can’t touch me! Then I go around the outside of the hypothetical until I find the mad genius and I poke him through the edges of the hypothetical until he’s dead. Then it’s cotton candy for everyone!

:D:D

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**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/57 "2014-05-30T03:14:08Z")

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> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#):
>
> Then I go around the outside of the hypothetical until I find the mad genius and I poke him through the edges of the hypothetical until he’s dead. Then it’s cotton candy for everyone!

I got kicked in the hypothetical once. It really hurt.

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/58 "2014-05-30T03:55:57Z")

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No question. The smoker. Because I fucking hate smoking.

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**Author:** ![common\_good](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@common\_good](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/common_good)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/59 "2014-05-30T04:48:24Z")

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I offered my own life but probably because I’m not really in this quandary. But, I’m pretty old and a smoker. I gotta’ accept it should be me. I wonder whether I’d have the guts ? At least I could die with honor. That balances the books , somewhat. Couldn’t deny the kid; a year seems long to a kid. The old man is much older than I, but he made it to 89 and could break the record, so he’s got that goin’ for him. The 42 yr. old probably has a family and he’s younger than I. Yea, I think I’d give it up. From the perspective of my dining room chair.

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**Author:** ![Dickerman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@Dickerman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dickerman)\
**Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-of-these-people-have-to-die-who-do-you-choose/689569/60 "2014-05-30T08:20:33Z")

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Whoever is the biggest a-hole gets to die.

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