I worked as a security guard once as well, at a plant where the workers were threatening to strike…
Official: Deterrent
Unofficial: 911-dialer
Programmer
Official: Creator
Unofficial: Kludger
Government
Official: Service
Unofficial: Sausage
(<Sarcasm filter>: It’s basically lips and assholes, nobody wants to see how it really works and how we make it, and we spend lots of time convincing people around the world that our sausage is right for them and that their lives would be a lot better if they’d just try our sausage. Oh, and there’s lots of filler, extenders and preservatives, and if you eat too much you’ll get sick and if you eat it every day you’ll probably wind up with severe health problems. It also comes in all forms, shapes, sizes and colours but is all basically the same stuff with different names.)
Mine are two
Collections
Official: receivables
Unofficial: terrorists
Training
Official: educators
Unofficial: babysitters
Oil Production Equipment
Official: Designer
Unofficial: Buck-passer
Freelance music/media contracting
Officially: Creativity
Unofficially: Whoredom
Teacher in UK scabby comprehensive school
Official: Mentor
Unofficial: Security
Teacher in Hong Kong independent school
Official: Guide
Unofficail: Babysitter
Litigation Lawyer*
Official: Meticulous
Unofficial: Dredger
- Okay, not my profession, but I went up against them as litigant in person
Lola, I’ve never heard then called independent schools before. ESF? International?
Whoops, yeah, ESF. I tend to think of them all as “big posh schools”, ignorant bogtrotter that I am.
Internet Helpdesk Technician
Official: Support
Unofficial: Babysitting
(No. No, don’t touch that. I need you to do this. No. Not that. You’ll break it. See, now you broke it. I told you not to touch it…)
My sympathies are with you. Must be difficult for a bogtrotter among the Welsh mafia.
Nah.
Official: serious
Unofficial: fun
IAALL
Can’t disagree with that - if one’s pals with the judge.