# ONE YEAR SOBER!!! (Long!) Come join my party! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 4, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284 "2003-11-04T04:48:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/41 "2003-11-04T19:53:20Z")
You have made me cry with your determination and success. You never thought you had it in you what was there all along. All you have to do is stay strong and true. You are amazing, simply amazing. BTW, excellent writing. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/42 "2003-11-04T20:06:21Z")
Congratulations, **scott**. I am so proud of you, and so happy to see you as happy as you are! All the best! ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/43 "2003-11-04T20:27:50Z")
Congrats, Scott. That was a moving tale. Good luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/44 "2003-11-04T21:34:29Z")
As they say around here: Good on Ya! 🙂 My best wishes to you & Jeremy in your life together. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/45 "2003-11-04T21:50:33Z")
Another crier here. Best wishes on staying sober for the both of you! By the way, how are the wedding plans coming along? Got that reception straightened out yet? Details, we want details!!! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/46 "2003-11-04T22:41:12Z")
Whenever I see one of your threads on this topic, **scott** , a movie line pops into my head. I always have to fight off the urge to quote it because while in person I could probably deliver the line it comes off really mean on a message board. But, to hell with it, you know how I mean it. “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” I’ve come to know and respect you in the time that I’ve been back to the boards, and I have been privileged over the last year to see you grow as a person in so many ways. You’ve learned your lessons the hard way, have gone through the proverbial hell and come out the other side stronger and better than ever. I am pleased to count you as one of that rare new species, an Internet friend. “Congratulations” doesn’t even begin to cover it. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/47 "2003-11-04T23:33:25Z")
**scott evil** , you have to be one of the strongest people on this earth. Not many people can accomplish the things you have accomplished, or have the strangth to even begin to try. Congratulations, and enjoy your brand new life! You don’t know me, and I don’t know you (although you are one of the Dopers whose username I instantly recognise), but I am still proud of you nonetheless! We all are. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/48 "2003-11-04T23:33:27Z")
**scott evil** , you have to be one of the strongest people on this earth. Not many people can accomplish the things you have accomplished, or have the strangth to even begin to try. Congratulations, and enjoy your brand new life! You don’t know me, and I don’t know you (although you are one of the Dopers whose username I instantly recognise), but I am still proud of you nonetheless! We all are. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/49 "2003-11-05T00:11:19Z")
I cried because I felt so proud of you. Your strength is an inspiration. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/50 "2003-11-05T00:39:06Z")
HOLY MOLEY! Is it a year already? I have posted in both of your linked threeads. The gave me goosebumps and tears then, this thread gave me goosebumps and a scratch in my throat. Congratulations and so much more! So wachya benchin at the gym these days? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/51 "2003-11-05T00:50:07Z")
Wow, I was moved to tears too and I’m a cold hearted bitch
congratulations. An amazing story from a truly amazing person. ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/52 "2003-11-05T01:21:42Z")
Celebration time for sure. **Scott** , I was glad to see this thread, and happy that you’re standing in the sunshine. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/53 "2003-11-05T01:42:43Z")
Congratulations, **scott evil**. I remember those threads you linked to, and your determination and courage is indeed inspiring. You’ve spent a year on this journey, and may there be many more years to come. I’m honored to share in it with you. 🙂 F\_X ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/54 "2003-11-05T02:08:12Z")
Congratulations, **Scott**. If my experience is any guide, your next few years are going to be unbelievably good. As in, if you take a little introspection time and look at your life, you’ll shake your head in bewilderment and think to yourself, “That much good stuff? Happening to me? Unbelievable.” Thanks for reminding me that every day, every hour, is an enormous gift. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/55 "2003-11-05T03:16:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*And everyone was so glad to see me back. Not one said “I told you so.” \* That’s how it works, and you know that now. We’re just so damn glad you didn’t kill yourself out there. I told a pigeon once, after having a slip and beating herself up for it, “There’s nothing in the world more natural than an alcoholic taking a drink.” It’s the not picking up a drink, that’s the death-defying act we perform on a daily basis. That’s the miracle. **scott** , it’s a testament to how far you’ve come that I had to think about it for a minute before I remembered how freaking annoying you were when you first got here. (Naturally, I shudder to think how awful my behavior was in my last year of drinking as well.) You’ve recovered your self now, you’re a good guy, and I’m glad to know you. Watch out for that second year, though. Man, was that one topsy-turvy for me, and it is for a lot of others too. A lot of emotional stuff comes up, but as long as you’ve got a good foundation and support network, you’ll get through it just fine. Keep coming back. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/56 "2003-11-05T07:33:15Z")
Seems like only yesterday that I was ready to die. And now many have. 12Âœ years you say
 nah
 can’t be. I have a newbie to listen to so I can be me. Wthout you Scott, I would die for my mind will forget without your help. Keep on keepin on. We alcoholics are truely lucky for we indeed, get two lives. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/57 "2003-11-05T11:45:29Z")
Wow. Just wow. Thank you all. I didn’t think there was anything particularly special about how I wrote the OP; I was just telling it like it was and now is. That I’ve moved many of you to tears in turn moves me. And, as one poster said, out in the Teeming Millions there could very well be someone - an anonymous lurker, or maybe even one of the “big names” on the SDMB - who’s in that very dark place right now, and will read my story, and will say, “That’s me. That’s what I do. That’s how I feel. And if this guy - who was so sick - can get better, so can I.” Yesterday at lunch, I brought in a piece of Queen Elizabeth cake (not for the queen part, but because it’s one of my favorite kinds of cake), and a box of birthday candles. I ate with two of my co-workers and my manager. The co-workers know I’m sober, and what that means, and one of them knew it was my one year anniversary. My manager only knows that something drastic changed in me about a year ago, and that since then, I’ve changed completely, and am now (as described in my OP) a responsible, productive employee who goes beyond the call of duty - forgive the cliché  and I do my job fantastically, thank-you-very-much. 😉 So after I finished my lunch, I took out the piece of cake, stuck a candle in it, lit it, made a quick wish, and blew it out. My manager said, “What’s that for?” to which I replied, “Today’s my sobriety anniversary.” “Oh! Congratulations!” she said, followed by congratulations from the two co-workers. Then the subject was quickly changed (segued, more like) to another co-worker’s upcoming birthday, and where we might go for lunch. But the co-worker who already knew it was my anniversary gently steered the topic back to my sobriety, because she knew I wanted my manager to finally understand. My manager was a bit confused. “But you still drink socially, right?” “No. I don’t. I can’t.” “But you still have a glass of wine with dinner?” “No. I don’t. I can’t. I haven’t had a drink of alcohol in exactly one year.” Long pause. I continue, “When we find that there’s something wrong in our lives, we go and fix it, don’t we?” I guess some people don’t understand what it means to be a recovering alcoholic. It’s not their fault. There are many with drinking problems (but who are not necessarily alcoholics) who decide to cut down, or moderate using a program designed to assist moderation. My guess is that my manager thought I was depressed (I was) and that I started taking meds for that (I was already on meds, and had been for years), and that the meds lifted my depression, and in turn I didn’t feel the need to drink “as much.” But those things - active alcoholism and depression - go hand-in-hand. I hate to use another clichĂ©, but it’s the vicious cycle: one makes the other worse, which in turn exacerbates the other, and so on. I still take the psych meds because I’ve relapsed into depression enough times while _sober_, way back when (1996-1999), and I don’t want to even take the risk. But that’s a story for another time. What lifted my alcoholism-related depression was _not having a drink, one day at a time - or one hour at a time, or one minute at a time, as need be._ Of course I went through some wild mood swings - and almost manic states - as I detoxed. It was like a _combination car wash and rollercoaster_, for with the ups and downs, I was getting an emotional scrubbing, I eventually came out clean on the other side. Anyway, I’m still celebrating until Friday evening, when I take my one-year cake at my home group, Cornerstone. My sponsor Lionel is making an angel food cake with caramel in the middle and whipped cream as icing. Oh, and we mustn’t forget the rainbow sprinkles, for after all, it’s a gay meeting. 😉 So celebrate along with me, if you’d like. And I _won’t_ let this thread die until I hear from my sweet baboo **Coldfire**. Where you be, **Coldie**? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/58 "2003-11-05T11:53:04Z")
This is really great news **scott** , a wonderful accomplishment. I also think you’re a good writer. Let us know when your musicals start touring, I’ll want to catch them here! ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/59 "2003-11-05T14:05:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > \*\*My most heartfelt thanks to those who’ve responded so far, as well as to everyone who’s clicked on this thread. > > I know I’m not accepting an Oscar[sup]¼[/sup] or anything, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention **MsRobyn**. I found her in #straightdope chat after I got home from my first meeting “back.” I was a mess, I was in tears, and Robin listenened with the wisdom and understanding of someone who had (and still has!) a few 24 hours more than me. She’s since become my sober buddy on the boards, and I love her to bits. 🙂 \*\* You’ve made my day. 🙂 Robin ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284/60 "2003-11-05T21:49:46Z")
_snuggle_ Congratulations, **scott**. I’m glad to know you; your courage is really inspiring and heartening. Go you! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-year-sober-long-come-join-my-party/211284.md?page=4)