…morphed into Captain Kirk who took out his phaser and vaporized 26f. 26f was not mentioned again for 23.65 billion years until…
…God, AKA Jon Bon Jovi, miraculously rematerialized 26F back into the current time stream. In fact, back into the hands of junkie John, who was intrigued by the pretty green color. Sneezing, he let go of 26F, which caught a gust of wind and ended up at the door of…
…“Wuzza?” The clerk snapped out of the Star Trek fantasy. "I said, give me the change from my ten!
The clerk hurridly gave the blood-covered circus clown 26F, who turned on his floppy oversized heel and stormed out, where he came upon…
…a dimembered torso…
…of WildestBill…
…and handed it to a passerby as part of a bribe to keep quiet about the body parts. The passerby then…
…, in a coincidence usually only seen in Dickens novels and internet expose sites, discovered the dismembered body was actually Ralph Franks who had been his neighbor in Nebraska 42 years ago. He had once borrowed a dime from Frank and never paid it back. Doing some quick math he found that, with interest (compounded annually), he now owed Frank exactly $5.00. Quickly he inserted 26F into…
…Frank’s rectum, quite roughly, and muttering angrily, “You lousy miserly bastard… No, can’t spare a dollar, you said… No, can’t spare a quarter, you said! Here, buddy, I can spare a dime, you said! Lousy stingy no good… grumble mutter. And after all I let you borrow, too! My plow… my tractor… that night with my wife…”
As the disgruntled passerby stood up, he was stopped by a police officer, who arrested him for molesting a corpse. The cop retrieved 26F, sealed it in an evidence bag, and went back to the station, where…
…a very hungry adn underpaid Evidence Room Supervisor saw the fiver, figured it just needed the “mud” rinsed off of it and who needs something as mundane as that for evidence (he not realizing the importance of ALL things gathered at a crime scene) and ended up using 26F to pay for a hot dog, a COke and some potato chips to quiet his growling tummy. Our, eh, “hero” languished in the red canvas “fanny pack” of hot dog/gyro vendor, Sven Stevenson, for several hours until…
… a dog he happened to glance at told him that the clerk prostitute at the 7-11 was “due for a payment.” Sven’s alternate personality, Twiggy Boy, an exotic dancer for Donald Trump, paid for the 9mm ammo with cash, including 26F.
The fecal matter annoyed Malcom, the gun store clerk, and he threw 26F back at Twiggy Boy, screaming, “Go Away, you sick bastard!”
Twiggy Boy enters the 7-11, but the prostitute isn’t there. The dog hadn’t prepared him for this. So he bought…
… a pack of cigarettes, an orange gatorade and three corn dogs - Tiwggy Boy always did this when he was deeply confused, but he didn’t know why.
26F didn’t stay in the till long, however, for Twiggy Boy’s internal alien presence told him to turn around just before he reached the front door of the store. He calmly withdraws the 9mm Beretta from the back of his jeans and shoots the 7-11 part-time fill-in clerk cleanly in the head, mob-hit style. He then emptied the gun into the cash register, took 26F and walked out of the store. He walked half a block and got in to a waiting …
…hansan cab for a quick, celebatory ride through the Bronx. “It isn’t everyday,” he jovially told the driver, “When you get to off a prostitute/clerk and a cash register.” Feeling quite proud of his singular achievement he lit a cigarette just as the rather large horse pulling the cab cut a fart of biblical porporations. The resulting explosion blew 26F away from his shattered body and…
… was picked up by a mime, who proceeded to use it in acting out a very poignant yet disturbing piece about a cross-dressing corporate attorney who falls upon hard times, loses his job, and becomes a wandering minstrel. After finishing his performance, the mime wandered across the park and…
… pondered greatly about the significance of the alpha-numeric… hmm… 26F; what could it be. Our boy wonder however did not have to search too far for the answer. Solid Geometry. Owen made a few quick folds of the note. Suddenly he realised that he could be a challenger at the next World Origami Contest. Owen had a 26 Faced solid in his hand … made from authentic Government paper…
…and Owen Sharp won the prize he had coveted, a new Hewlett-Packard computer, with America Online 8.0 CD’s as a bonus. 
Owen, however, was still imbued with the virtues of prudence and thrift his parents had instilled in him, as with his 14 older siblings. So he promptly used five one-dollar bills, folding them in the same exact manner as 26F, and had the family butler store them in a case in the anteroom off his bedroom. Later Owen met his girlfriend, Katrina Oranjeboom, 12 going on 18. They wanted to go to White Castle and he gave her 26F to pay for a couple of “slider” burgers. Katrina, however, pulled another fiver out of her wallet when they bought the burgers and onion chips at White Castle. At home her mother asked for a five for five ones. Now the Oranjebooms, Pete and Loora, who have an active–and kinky–sex life, sauntered off to the local porno shop, owned by a buddy of Pete’s in the Navy who saved his life in the Gulf War. They used 26F to pay for a variety of odd sex devices…
that in former lives were Victorian era dental equipment. Pete’s buddy put 26f in the till, where it lay unsued and forgotten for approximately two and a half minutes until the full-time 7-11 prostitute/clerk purchased a pack of double ribbed condoms in day glow orange and was given 26f as change. The prostitute/clerk then went down the street to Walgreen’s where she used 26f to purchase a tube of “Barney purple” frosted sparkle lip gloss. 26f was then…
…languishing in the till at Walgreen’s until Mary Blonda got it in change after buying snacks for her younger boys, a fan magazine for her teenage daughter April, and a baseball cap for her husband, Bob. About 20 minutes later, still shopping, Mary noticed on a sidewalk that two buttons on her well-worn white blouse were about to come undone, a situation not helped by her generous figure. Fortunately she was now approaching the entrance to a well-known women’s wear store…
…which she bypassed. Being frugal, she went down the street to the local K-Mart and bought a Martha Stewart collection blouse made from pinecones and recycled aluminum foil. After she paid for her blouse, 26F languished in the K-Mart safe for 48 hours until the bankruptcy attornies got their hands on it. Then,…
…all hell breaks loose. Terrorists take the K-Mart attornies hostage and demand that CBS stops showing Michael Jackson as news. George W steps in and fires the CBS executives, setting off a chain of horrific events ending with the massacre of the K-Mart attornies. Abdul Ammah Abdul, (formerly Kevin Bacon) realising he is in danger, escapes into the annonimity of his career. Unconciously, he pockets 26F. Back in LA, his houseboy finds 26F while rifling through Kevin’s jeans pockets after he slipped him a mickey in his Ovaltine. Disgusted, the houseboy…
…, whose name is Rudiger, vows never again to answer an anonymous job ad in the back of Variety. He looks around the somewhat-threadbare mansion, and realises it’s time to get a better job. He packs a bag with his few possessions, runs out the front door (leaving it unlocked), and tears away in Abdul’s purple Porsche.
A few minutes later, on Sunset Boulevard, he realises that a) he’s not far from Deadman’s Curve, and b) he needs gas…