# Onion articles that hit a little too close to home **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 26, 2008, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207 "2008-02-26T11:44:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/21 "2008-02-26T21:14:18Z")
[QUOTE=Napier] The clerks tell me that Radio Shack is now primarily a cell phone store. This beats the hell out of me - since Radio Shack drove Lafayette Radio out of business decades ago, they have long been the only parts distributor in most towns. Then, along comes the cheap and practical cell phone, and suddenly every small town has 3 or 4 cell phone stores. So why is it a good idea for RAdio Shack to stop being the #1 parts distributor and start trying to be the #4 or #5 cell phone store? [/QUOTE] Because [ul][li]Cell phones and Monster cables have a high profit margin. Resistors and switches, not so much.[/li][li]It’s _expensive_ to have electronics-knowledgable staff on hand.[/li][li]Way fewer people are electronics hobbyists anymore. Lots of people that would have done that 20 years ago make Youtube videos or write flash games or something.[/li][li]The kind of people who _do_ still mess with small electronics projects have long been on the internet and order their parts online, for less money.[/ul][/li] What you all need for your parents with trouble on computers is to look into a good [Assisted Computing Facility](http://www.satirewire.com/features/siliconpines/acf.shtml). ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/22 "2008-02-26T21:28:19Z")
Once, there was a line in the Astrology section to the effect, “Everyone tells you that your grandmother is now in heaven, but really she’s in a coffin desperately clawing at the stitches holding her eyelids shut.” I read this a few days after carrying my grandmothers coffin to the grave. Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![fuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuffle)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/23 "2008-02-26T22:25:59Z")
I can’t find it for some reason, but there’s one called something like “Plan to Organize Life in One Week Yields Mixed Results.” It describes the guy taking a week off from work to get his shit together, but he gets drunk Sunday night and so sleeps all of Monday, then re-reads “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” all of Tuesday and…well, let’s just say I think they’ve been spying on me. ---
**Author:** ![Tess\_Trueheart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Tess\_Trueheart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess_Trueheart)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/24 "2008-02-26T22:30:08Z")
They predicted trouble with the Olsen twins back when they were young, and they even [got the twin with weight issues right](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33354) . > [@](#): > > Mary-Kate could also stand to lose a few pounds. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/25 "2008-02-26T22:39:35Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] No, it’s not. I’ve never been fat, but if I were (and especially if I were an adolescent), I’d certainly never go onto an Internet site that would ridicule me because of my weight. Would you? [/QUOTE] You know the site that most avidly ridicules borderline-Aspergers overweight geek losers? Slashdot, which is pretty much exclusively populated by same. Some people have a really odd sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/26 "2008-02-26T23:01:00Z")
Although I’ve never edited a _Wikipedia_ article, I do participate in the **Celebrity Death Pool** threads on the **SDMB** , and often click on the current year’s incarnation to see if a celebrity demise I’ve just learned about has already been noted. Thus, I can relate to [this story.](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_man_honored_to_be_one_who) ---
**Author:** ![fuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuffle)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/27 "2008-02-26T23:12:54Z")
Oh, how could I forget? This actually happened to me/my friends in college: [Weed Delivery Guy Saves Christmas.](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30821) Be sure to enlarge the pic; it’s priceless. God bless you, Weed Delivery Guy! ::sniff:: ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/28 "2008-02-26T23:32:29Z")
After reading the article [Video-Game Character Wonders Why Heartless God Always Chooses ‘Continue’](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28288), drowning my Sims didn’t seem so fun anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/29 "2008-02-26T23:41:22Z")
[QUOTE=iamthewalrus(:3=] Because [ul][li]Cell phones and Monster cables have a high profit margin. Resistors and switches, not so much.[/li][li]It’s _expensive_ to have electronics-knowledgable staff on hand.[/li][li]Way fewer people are electronics hobbyists anymore. Lots of people that would have done that 20 years ago make Youtube videos or write flash games or something.[/li][li]The kind of people who _do_ still mess with small electronics projects have long been on the internet and order their parts online, for less money.[/ul][/li] [/QUOTE] Bingo! We have a winner, folks. Also, switches and resistors are _fiddly_. They’re a pain in the ass to keep track of, and the people who want switches and resistors are the sort of people who expect underpaid 17 year old staff to know- off the top of their heads- how to build a shortwave radio using parts salvaged from a sewing machine, a desk lamp, and a deck of playing cards. They’re just not worth the hassle anymore, and as **iamthewalrus** says, the sort of people who do still build HAM radios and projectors and so on as a hobby get their stuff off the Internet for less money and with instant connectively to the other electronics geeks out there. Having had a look in places like The Sharper Image and even Wal-Mart while I was in the US, I have to say we are miles behind here in Australia and it shows. Electronics here are expensive (comparatively) and not all that interesting- we just don’t have all the incredible gadgetry available as it is in the US. Sure, you can get them here, but you can’t walk into Myer or Target for it. And it’s bloody expensive… ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/30 "2008-02-26T23:45:37Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] Y’know, instead of making fun of people who have trouble understanding the Internet, those who design and tend it should work harder at making it easier to understand. I know the Onion article is a spoof, but inside every spoof is the seed of truth. Seriously, naming an identifier code a “cookie” is just juvenile jackassery. [/QUOTE] We didn’t make it for you. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/31 "2008-02-27T00:09:22Z")
[Email from Aunt Accidentally Opened](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/e_mail_from_aunt_accidentally) [Kitchen-Floor Conflict Intensifies As Rival House Cats Claim Same Empty Bag](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/kitchen_floor_conflict_intensifies) [FEMA Calls Rebuilding Complete As New Orleans Restored To Former Squalor](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/fema_calls_rebuilding_complete_as) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/32 "2008-02-27T00:12:58Z")
[QUOTE=Napier] Radio Shack is phasing out its electronic parts business, and the one nearest me now has no parts at all on the wall. [/QUOTE] Uh oh. A few weeks ago I went to Radio Shack to pick up a replacement capacitor to fix my DVD player. Now what am I going to do? ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/33 "2008-02-27T01:11:45Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] You know the site that most avidly ridicules borderline-Aspergers overweight geek losers? Slashdot, which is pretty much exclusively populated by same. Some people have a really odd sense of humor. [/QUOTE] I don’t know it. That’s kind of weird. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/34 "2008-02-27T01:19:35Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] You know the site that most avidly ridicules borderline-Aspergers overweight geek losers? Slashdot, which is pretty much exclusively populated by same. Some people have a really odd sense of humor. [/QUOTE] Well…everybody gets a free pass to make fun their own, don’t they? ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/35 "2008-02-27T01:35:26Z")
[This one was pretty much the story of my life at the time it was published.](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27870) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/36 "2008-02-27T01:43:08Z")
I’ve also seen [this](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28779) to be the case. Not making fun of people who are disabled, btw. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/37 "2008-02-27T01:56:28Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] Seriously, naming an identifier code a “cookie” is just juvenile jackassery. [/QUOTE] “Cookie” comes from the computing term “magic cookie”, which has been around for ages. Http is a stateless protocol, so using a magic cookie was effective for retaining a session state between server requests, and naming the packet a “cookie” was not an unreasonable thing for a programmer to do. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/38 "2008-02-27T01:57:34Z")
You notice how _The Onion_ generally doesn’t make fun of upper-middle-class yuppie-type people? Their targets are typically either the lumpen-middle class mall-goer, arrested-development Gen-Y-ers, psychos, or Big Government. Big Business, less frequently. Anybody think there’s something going on here? **Cite:** Searching the archive for _SUV_ returns 30 results. Searching the archive for _parents basement_ returns 569 results. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/39 "2008-02-27T02:08:35Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] That’s a whoosh, isn’t it **guizot**? [/QUOTE] [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xH7kKnHpgus/hqdefault.jpg "Fat Kid Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH7kKnHpgus) ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/40 "2008-02-27T02:13:13Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] No, it’s not. I’ve never been fat, but if I were (and especially if I were an adolescent), I’d certainly never go onto an Internet site that would ridicule me because of my weight. Would you? The segment was funny, but its whole point was to belittle this "kid.’ Maybe in reality he likes being fat. I don’t know. [/QUOTE] I think what jjimm meant by being wooshed is that 100% of the articles are satire. That is to say, they’re all made up. The ‘kid’ The Onion was picking on isn’t real, rather a fictitious stereotype. Or am I being wooshed? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207.md?page=3)