# Onion articles that hit a little too close to home **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 26, 2008, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207 "2008-02-26T11:44:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/41 "2008-02-27T05:17:11Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] [Email from Aunt Accidentally Opened](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/e_mail_from_aunt_accidentally) [/QUOTE] Replace “aunt” with “either grandma” ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/42 "2008-02-27T10:30:16Z")
[QUOTE=cmyk] I think what jjimm meant by being wooshed is that 100% of the articles are satire. That is to say, they’re all made up. The ‘kid’ The Onion was picking on isn’t real, rather a fictitious stereotype. Or am I being wooshed? [/QUOTE] Of course it’s satire. What the hell else would The Onion be? I was talking about the actor they got to play the part. He was a real fat kid. And the satire wasn’t picking on him, but rather fatuous morning show “human interest” pieces, which is why it’s funny. But to do so, they had to, in effect, insult him as a person on video. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/43 "2008-02-27T11:03:12Z")
On another note, check out this reference to [Livejournal.com](http://Livejournal.com) in this [satire of Internet addiction](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvpuT3aoypE&NR=1). It also touches upon the kind of news coverage that happens when some big thing occurs (9/11, for instance). ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/44 "2008-02-27T13:43:04Z")
[I think that stripper really liked me.](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33584) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/45 "2008-02-27T13:50:30Z")
For me, it’s [Amazing New ‘Swiffer’ Fails to Fill the Void.](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38845) The magic of consumerism… I almost believed, just for a moment, it might. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/46 "2008-02-27T13:55:03Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] Of course it’s satire. What the hell else would The Onion be? I was talking about the actor they got to play the part. He was a real fat kid. [/QUOTE] Probably from a casting agency, with the words “we need a fat kid”. There are modeling agencies that specialise in non-“standard” looks - over here there’s one called [Ugly](http://www.ugly.org/m1/men_1.html) that people voluntarily apply for. People in that sort of business will tend to trade on their speciality, whatever it is, having swallowed their pride. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/47 "2008-02-27T14:17:26Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] We didn’t make it for you. 😛 [/QUOTE] I have no idea what you even mean by this. If by “we” you refer to those whose work has resulted in the Internet, then I ask, who the hell did you think would be using it? Only techno-geeks who understood the jargon? Look, I understand how the Internet evolved from a few government and university computers talking to each other, into the vast commercial network it is today. Nobody “invented” or “made” the internet. It’s unique among mass media in that it seems to have simply grown out of the ground and evolved by use. That doesn’t change the fact that, now that people are making tons of money from it, it needs to be more user-friendly. I get really tired of smug technowunderkind cracking wise about how old fuckers can’t get the hang of the Internet. Instead of making fun of these people, why not a serious effort to make the damn thing less threatening, more useful and easier to understand? As for Punoqllads’ explanation about the “magic cookie,” frankly, that just proves my point! How in the hell would anyone without a degree in computer science know what a “magic cookie” was? Sounds like something my flower-child girlfriend baked back in '72. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/48 "2008-02-27T14:21:53Z")
One of the recent articles was something like “basement tornadoes tear through Tennessee”, complete with death statistics. Yeah, that’s really funny, considering that tornadoes really did rip through TN and kill some people, about two weeks before they put that article up. I’m not easily offended, and I wouldn’t even say that _offends_ me, but I thought it was pretty insensitive, and in bad taste. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/49 "2008-02-27T14:45:02Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] Instead of making fun of these people, why not a serious effort to make the damn thing less threatening, more useful and easier to understand? [/QUOTE] What is less threatening than a cookie?! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/50 "2008-02-27T15:00:29Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] IInstead of making fun of these people, why not a serious effort to make the damn thing less threatening, more useful and easier to understand? [/QUOTE] Why? Isn’t it more advantageous to take advantage of the elderly and ignorant and wait for the Baby Boomers to die off, and then we’ll all live in a computer savvy Utopialand? I’m only half joking here. What’s the societal benefit to changing the name of cookies? Obviously, it’s not impossible to learn this stuff, no matter what your age or intelligence level. **Klondike Geoff** , **David Simmons** and dozens of other Elder Dopespeople show that older people can learn it. 4chan and Yahoo Answers shows us that brainless idiots can learn it. IMHO, a subset of the population has convinced themselves it’s too hard either because they like to be victims or it’s easier to get someone else to do it for them, not because it _is_ too hard. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/51 "2008-02-27T16:05:42Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] Of course it’s satire. What the hell else would The Onion be? I was talking about the actor they got to play the part. He was a real fat kid. And the satire wasn’t picking on him, but rather fatuous morning show “human interest” pieces, which is why it’s funny. But to do so, they had to, in effect, insult him as a person on video. [/QUOTE] The kid is a hired actor. Whatever self-esteem problems this kid has, it seems he’s okay about it by naming his price – as in cash. This is not nearly the first time someone has been cast into a part based on their perceived negative characteristics. I’ll bet they had some good laughs about it on set, even. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/52 "2008-02-27T17:00:17Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] You notice how _The Onion_ generally doesn’t make fun of upper-middle-class yuppie-type people? Their targets are typically either the lumpen-middle class mall-goer, arrested-development Gen-Y-ers, psychos, or Big Government. Big Business, less frequently. [/QUOTE] Oh, there is clearly a class bias to the Onion. They do make fun of the upper-middle class (e.g., [This American Life Completes Documentation Of Liberal, Upper-Middle-Class Existence](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/this_american_life_completes) and others), but the bias is definitely there. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/53 "2008-02-27T18:15:56Z")
**Sunrazor** : I can only imagine how pleasant you must have been when you learned to drive. “Wheels? What the _fuck_ is this _ **techno-geek crap** _? Pedals? **PEDALS GROW ON FLOWERS, YOU FUCKING LOW-LIFE LOSERS! GROW UP!** ” ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/54 "2008-02-27T18:41:56Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] I have no idea what you even mean by this. If by “we” you refer to those whose work has resulted in the Internet, then I ask, who the hell did you think would be using it? Only techno-geeks who understood the jargon? Look, I understand how the Internet evolved from a few government and university computers talking to each other, into the vast commercial network it is today. Nobody “invented” or “made” the internet. It’s unique among mass media in that it seems to have simply grown out of the ground and evolved by use. That doesn’t change the fact that, now that people are making tons of money from it, it needs to be more user-friendly. I get really tired of smug technowunderkind cracking wise about how old fuckers can’t get the hang of the Internet. Instead of making fun of these people, why not a serious effort to make the damn thing less threatening, more useful and easier to understand? As for Punoqllads’ explanation about the “magic cookie,” frankly, that just proves my point! How in the hell would anyone without a degree in computer science know what a “magic cookie” was? Sounds like something my flower-child girlfriend baked back in '72. [/QUOTE] Wow, did that joke of mine fall flat. It was a vague reference back to a line in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but yeah, I was refering to the fact that the “internet” such as it is, was in no way designed for the enduser of today. You don’t think it’s friendly enough for ya, complain to the millions, if not billions, of people who are throwing up webpages daily. There is no president of the internet to whom to complain after all. You keep referencing the “internet” like it’s a monolithic subject that people somehow comprehend. My experience, and that of others, says that some users have difficulty even understanding the difference between activities on their own computer (disk usage, printing) and activities via the internet (email, web page surfing). We haven’t even hit on the ridiculous phobia of new computer users – that “if I hit a button I’m going to cause my computer to explode in a puff of smoke” thing. That takes _years_ of regular computer use for some folks to get beyond. So yeah, I’m cracking wise. It’s my 41st birthday today. I already feel a generation gap with young people who have grown up documenting their lives in online journals and message boards… the idea of being that open with personal information on the internet is crazy to me, and I’ve had kids literally roll their eyes at me. I figure in about 30 years or so, some kid who needs to get off my virtual lawn is going to be snarking about my reluctance to install a direct-to-central-nervous-system port in the base of my neck, or whatever the latest technology of the future is. It’s the circle of life. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/55 "2008-02-27T18:51:02Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] Wow, did that joke of mine fall flat. It was a vague reference back to a line in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, [/QUOTE] I got it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/56 "2008-02-27T19:13:16Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] You notice how _The Onion_ generally doesn’t make fun of upper-middle-class yuppie-type people? Their targets are typically either the lumpen-middle class mall-goer, arrested-development Gen-Y-ers, psychos, or Big Government. Big Business, less frequently. Anybody think there’s something going on here? **Cite:** Searching the archive for _SUV_ returns 30 results. Searching the archive for _parents basement_ returns 569 results. [/QUOTE] [This American Life Completes Documentation Of Liberal, Upper-Middle-Class Existence](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/this_american_life_completes) ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/57 "2008-02-27T20:07:30Z")
Oh, yeah, another of their attacks on mall-going suburbanites: Family of Five Found Alive in Suburbs One that probably hits home for some: [Day Job Officially Becomes Job](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30469) > [@The Onion](#): > > “I’m not surprised,” Seversen’s roommate Matt Cook, 26, said. “Mark has had that look of defeat in his eyes lately, like when our friend Ray [Landry] accepted the assistant-manager position at Video Hut six months after he finished his fourth screenplay. Or when my girlfriend stopped telling people she was going to design shoes and started telling them she sold shoes at the Younkers in the Southgate mall.” > > \ > > “Seversen has just made the most important decision of a non-artist’s life,” said Gregory Gund, author of Aw, Who’m I Kidding Here? and Learning To Let Go Of The Things That Sustain You. “We all have to face the music sooner or later. You think I wanted to write crappy self-help novels and speak about them at low-rent seminars in the conference rooms of cheap chain hotels?” > > Gund continued: “I’ll never forget the day I traded in my bass amp for a dot-matrix printer. I sat in the bathtub for about two hours that day, staring at the reflection of my receding hairline in the cold water. Sometimes, I wish I’d plugged that amp in and hauled it into the tub with me. But, hey, we can’t all be the next Geddy Lee, right?” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/58 "2008-02-27T20:19:42Z")
[QUOTE=Little Bird] [This American Life Completes Documentation Of Liberal, Upper-Middle-Class Existence](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/this_american_life_completes) [/QUOTE] Pretty lame satire there. It’s as if they’re having trouble finding anything funny about the kind of people/stories you hear on _TAL_. Or else they’re…you think…_afraid?_ > [@](#): > > Reason: That’s what I get for not reading the whole thread… Yes. Post about Radio Shack or get out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/59 "2008-02-27T20:57:55Z")
[Shotgun Blast to Abdomen Just Pisses Wilford Brimley Off More](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/36292) ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207/60 "2008-02-27T21:03:34Z")
[QUOTE=wolf in second hand clothing] [Shotgun Blast to Abdomen Just Pisses Wilford Brimley Off More](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/36292) [/QUOTE] ::spittake:: 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onion-articles-that-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/439207.md?page=4)