# Online Dating Experiences **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 25, 2012, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072 "2012-11-25T16:49:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/161 "2012-11-30T23:13:04Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > In theory, online dating can be used as a supplement. In reality, it’s mostly used as a replacement. And no, the most successful people aren’t using dating sites. They don’t really have a need for it since they can meet people pretty easily. > > If you’re able to meet people easily in real life, you don’t need online dating. > > Generally, there’s a reason why people are on those sites (and this is from my own experience, so take it with a grain of salt). Successful in what respect? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/162 "2012-11-30T23:27:24Z")
Again, not gregariousness, exactly, but how appealing you find the idea of spending evenings interviewing strangers. If that sounds fun, online dating is a better fit. If that sounds not fun, online dating might not be your thing. I don’t know how much work you found it. After making my profile, I would probably spend 15 minutes once a day meaning my replies and setting up dates- and I could do it on my schedule, which was often on the walk to my office. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/163 "2012-11-30T23:58:28Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > And no, the most successful people aren’t using dating sites. They don’t really have a need for it since they can meet people pretty easily. Depending on one’s definition, successful people aren’t using dating sites _because they aren’t single_. Not sure this is a real meaningful statement, though, and I’m not sure yours either. Ten to twenty years from, when online dating is as common as women wearing pants, I hope this thread is around so we can have a good laugh at all this overwrought analysis. ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/164 "2012-12-01T00:01:23Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I don’t care if you’re 5’8". I care if you’re 5’8" and say you’re 5’10". Just don’t lie about it, regardless of your hair do. Right, but I meant in the context of your confidence in detecting a 1-inch differential by comparing his height to your own, isn’t there wiggle room if they look shorter than you because you might be wearing different shoes, etc. But your point is taken. ---
**Author:** ![Modern\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@Modern\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modern_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/165 "2012-12-01T00:10:31Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Depending on one’s definition, successful people aren’t using dating sites _because they aren’t single_. Yikes! ---
**Author:** ![Modern\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@Modern\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modern_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/166 "2012-12-01T00:12:41Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Ten to twenty years from, when online dating is as common as women wearing pants, I hope this thread is around so we can have a good laugh at all this overwrought analysis. You’re making a lot of assumptions there. I hope you realize that. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/167 "2012-12-01T00:14:42Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > You’re making a lot of assumptions there. I hope you realize that. I also assume the sun is rising tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Modern\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@Modern\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modern_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/168 "2012-12-01T00:15:33Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > I also assume the sun is rising tomorrow. Not at all related, but okay. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/169 "2012-12-01T01:20:13Z")
I don’t get this whole “successful people don’t use dating sites” thing. All of the people I’ve dated long-term have been people I’ve met IRL, so I suppose by **Modern Master** ’s definition I am “successful,” but I have also dabbled in online dating. I have friends who are socially successful - graduated from top schools, have decent jobs, are average to good looking - who have met their partners online (granted, they are not the majority, but they exist). The one guy I mentioned up thread had a graduate degree from an excellent school and was pretty well off for someone in his twenties (he was some kind of financial analyst) and yet I met him through OKC. To be fair, when I first met him I asked him “what in god’s name do you need a dating site for” and he threw the question back at me, which made me realize how ridiculous it was. ---
**Author:** ![Modern\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@Modern\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modern_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/170 "2012-12-01T01:28:04Z")
I wonder if the people that are advocating online dating are getting paid to do so. Also, [this](http://venturebeat.com/2012/10/30/online-dating-scam/) was an interesting read. It talks about online dating scams. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/171 "2012-12-01T01:40:16Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > In theory, online dating can be used as a supplement. In reality, it’s mostly used as a replacement. And no, the most successful people aren’t using dating sites. They don’t really have a need for it since they can meet people pretty easily. > > If you’re able to meet people easily in real life, you don’t need online dating. > > Generally, there’s a reason why people are on those sites (and this is from my own experience, so take it with a grain of salt). Sorry, but this is pretty fucking stupid. I’ve had no issues meeting people in “real life.” I’ve been in satisfying and lasting relationships with women I’ve met: as friends of friends, at school, at work, chatting up a relative stranger at a coffee shop, etc. And I, for the most part, still keep in touch with all these people. Traditional methods of meeting people were great. They worked well for me. But I wanted to try something different, and it worked even better. I found my wife that way. It was great to find a focused selection of people that seemed interesting, were intelligent, ambitious, and whom I was attracted to. It’s not for everyone, that’s for sure. But, personally, I loved it. > [@](#): > > I wonder if the people that are advocating online dating are getting paid to do so. You have got to be kidding me. I wish. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/172 "2012-12-01T01:40:18Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Again, not gregariousness, exactly, but how appealing you find the idea of spending evenings interviewing strangers. If that sounds fun, online dating is a better fit. If that sounds not fun, online dating might not be your thing. > > I don’t know how much work you found it. After making my profile, I would probably spend 15 minutes once a day meaning my replies and setting up dates- and I could do it on my schedule, which was often on the walk to my office. It was just a completely different experience for me. I very rarely got any replies. So there was nothing to set up. That’s why I say it didn’t work for me. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/173 "2012-12-01T01:41:03Z")
Oh FFS. Anyone who gets taken in by shit like that would probably have been scammed by a Nigerian spammer eventually. And you think people IRL don’t scam others by using dates as a front? I’m not saying that online dating is for everyone. I gave up after three dates. But the online dating world is not as full of messed up losers as you seem to be implying that it is. ---
**Author:** ![Modern\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@Modern\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modern_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/174 "2012-12-01T01:42:56Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > It was just a completely different experience for me. I very rarely got any replies. So there was nothing to set up. That’s why I say it didn’t work for me. I had much more luck meeting people in real life than I ever did with online dating. Every date arranged through online dating was awkward. Every girl lied about one thing or another. Most if not all the women were socially challenged in one way or another. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/175 "2012-12-01T01:43:31Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > I wonder if the people that are advocating online dating are getting paid to do so. > > Also, [this](http://venturebeat.com/2012/10/30/online-dating-scam/) was an interesting read. It talks about online dating scams. There are scammers everywhere. So what? Do you really think that I am a paid shill for online dating? If so, that is just colossally fucking stupid. Why can’t you comprehend that it’s something that works for a lot of people but not everyone? Again, please define “successful” as it applies to people who don’t on-line date. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/176 "2012-12-01T01:59:44Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > But the online dating world is not as full of messed up losers as you seem to be implying that it is. If I judged online dating by the types of people my cousin met (who was an avid online dater), I would never had tried it myself. But some people just seem to be magnets for, shall we say, the dramatic personalities. It’s like in meat world. Some folks just go for the crazy, others screen better for that. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/177 "2012-12-01T02:01:04Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > I had much more luck meeting people in real life than I ever did with online dating. Every date arranged through online dating was awkward. Every girl lied about one thing or another. Most if not all the women were socially challenged in one way or another. And that’s fine. That’s your experience. I don’t disbelieve it. That wasn’t at all my experience, and I work in the industry so I see the people who get married through online dating and, believe you me, it’s not only socially awkward losers. Far, far from it. ---
**Author:** ![Modern\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@Modern\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modern_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/178 "2012-12-01T02:17:56Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > And that’s fine. That’s your experience. I don’t disbelieve it. That wasn’t at all my experience, and I work in the industry so I see the people who get married through online dating and, believe you me, it’s not only socially awkward losers. Far, far from it. What industry? ---
**Author:** ![Modern\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@Modern\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modern_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/179 "2012-12-01T02:19:36Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > There are scammers everywhere. So what? > > Do you really think that I am a paid shill for online dating? If so, that is just colossally fucking stupid. Why can’t you comprehend that it’s something that works for a lot of people but not everyone? > > Again, please define “successful” as it applies to people who don’t on-line date. Anything’s possible. Why is it colossally fucking stupid? How much is a lot? What’s your definition of successful? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072/180 "2012-12-01T02:33:52Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > What industry? Wedding industry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-experiences/642072.md?page=10)