# Online dating is literally the worst **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 30, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600 "2012-12-30T21:23:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/21 "2012-12-31T01:51:30Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I once got a couple propositioning me for a threesome. That’s not even the weird part. In the same message, they asked me if my cat was spayed and did I want her to hook up with their tom. No, I’d rather not pimp my cat out, thanks. Even weirder if they wanted a foursome, with the cat. Although, that would make an interesting story. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/22 "2012-12-31T02:20:39Z")
I met my wife on OKC. But I definately had a few responses that were decidedly strange. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/23 "2012-12-31T02:45:13Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I once got a couple propositioning me for a threesome. That’s not even the weird part. In the same message, they asked me if my cat was spayed and did I want her to hook up with their tom. No, I’d rather not pimp my cat out, thanks. Alright, this made me literally LOL. Can I put it on the blog? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/24 "2012-12-31T02:46:26Z")
> [@Edward\_The\_Head](#): > > It seems that’s what I need to do to get any kind of response then. I usually write a few sentences and say a thing or two about their profile and ask a question or two. I get about one reply back out of 30-40 I send out. Is it ok if I use the cum on your Obama shirt line? The only thing worse than receiving cell-phone-camera porn and requests to ejaculate on articles of clothing at your online dating profile is not receiving them. Wilde himself could have probably put it better than that, but he ain’t here now so deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![Cats\_pajamas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Cats\_pajamas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cats_pajamas)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/25 "2012-12-31T02:53:32Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > The only thing worse than receiving cell-phone-camera porn and requests to ejaculate on articles of clothing at your online dating profile is not receiving them. > > Wilde himself could have probably put it better than that, but he ain’t here now so deal with it. That’s deep. But, not in the way you think. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Surb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/26 "2012-12-31T03:19:03Z")
I must have missed it, what was your answer? ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/27 "2012-12-31T03:26:37Z")
We had a recent thread about this but I am currently in a 7 month long relationship that started on Match so sometimes it works. Ironically I used the same line about her Obama shirt. Kidding. ---
**Author:** ![MareIt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@MareIt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MareIt)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/28 "2012-12-31T04:10:15Z")
I haven’t gotten any outrageous propositions although I do get a reasonable amount of messages. I would say that about 80% reflect an ability to read a profile for comprehension and the remaining 20% are guys who are so perplexed by the idea of a profile that they haven’t filled theirs out. I’ve probably met in person about 15 guys over the last couple of years (I turn off my profile for months at a time out of boredom) and only 2 have held an interest for me past the 2nd date and only 1 made it past 3. That is about the same as my every-day life dating encounters. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/29 "2012-12-31T04:29:29Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > We had a recent thread about this but I am currently in a 7 month long relationship that started on Match so sometimes it works. Ironically I used the same line about her Obama shirt. > > Kidding. It was a Romney shirt? ---
**Author:** ![Risstron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Risstron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risstron)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/30 "2012-12-31T04:33:25Z")
Oh man, I’ve been on OKC for a few years now. Mostly I stick around for the forums and the abuse by middle aged Turkish men. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/31 "2012-12-31T04:43:02Z")
If I had to rank it, it would probably go somewhere between Darfur and the Holocaust. But I’m not sure if online dating is literally the worst. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/32 "2012-12-31T06:19:06Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Alright, this made me literally LOL. Can I put it on the blog? Go ahead. 🙂 Spread the laughter. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/33 "2012-12-31T06:21:54Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > Even weirder if they wanted a foursome, with the cat. Although, that would make an interesting story. That would be a fivesome, actually. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/34 "2012-12-31T06:42:34Z")
This isn’t exactly in the spirit of the question but it’s the closest thing to an online dating experience I’ve got. I am endlessly fascinated by these online dating threads. I don’t get dating in general; it’s like a foreign language to me. That said, I find all of your experiences and boundaries and rules and demands really interesting, and sometimes perplexing. When you describe the craziness in profiles and the responses you receive I wished I could see but was completely unwilling to sign up for an account in order to satisfy that curiosity - until one day I discovered Plenty of Fish let you look without signing up. Well I sure got a lesson in unattractive & illiterate in a hurry. I spent about 20 minutes poking around and ended up on a profile of a guy that just clicked with me on many levels. So much so that I _really_ wanted to contact him. I wasn’t sure how a “I don’t want to date you but you’re sure damned interesting!” message might be received, especially because men don’t seem to have an easy time of it in online dating, from my understanding. I asked our very own and dear **Robot Arm** what he would think if he got a message like that - he didn’t seem to think it would be an absolute negative, so I went for it and made my first and only dating profile just so I could contact this person. The profile is the barest of minimums. No “About Me” no photos, no real information - but I started getting requests in my inbox almost immediately. One included a half-naked (the top half) photo of himself decked out in firefighter gear. Hilarious. I haven’t logged in there since the day (or the day after?) I made the profile, so the messages have mostly stopped, although I did get an email a week ago saying I had a new message. Not interested. The guy I contacted took it all in stride, wasn’t weirded out, and we talk regularly. We’ve gotten together for drinks/dinner twice - both times sending me into anxiety attacks that leave me unable to breathe and scared to death to go see him, and I’ve no idea what _that_ is about. Thank Dog for xanax, and he (the gentleman) has been more than understanding about my nervousness. He’s the most interesting “IRL” person I’ve encountered in a depressingly long time, and I look forward to continuing to develop our friendship - even though the anxiety makes me want to die. I still don’t get this crazy dating thing, online or otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/35 "2012-12-31T07:18:06Z")
Hey, at least when a man sends you a crappy message it’s funny and you can put it on a blog. And you don’t have to feel bad about blowing them off. When I ignore an unsolicited message from a woman I’m just not attracted to I feel sort of bad. I wish they’d say something offensive. I did have one woman just message “hi” and that was it. That was probably the worst. I’m gonna be honest though, if she had looked like Ashley Greene I probably still would have responded. And by “probably” I mean “definitely.” ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/36 "2012-12-31T07:34:14Z")
I have no crazy horror stories about online dating. Sure, there were some weirdos in my inbox, but I kinda likened that to spam… it’s there but it’s not really meant for me personally so I don’t have to waste any time reading or responding to it. I did meet my husband on OKC, so that’s the opposite of horror story. Not sure which of us really got saddled with the weirdo, but we’re happy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/37 "2012-12-31T11:57:57Z")
Wow, I don’t know if I’m lucky or if I’m so hideous and nerdy that even the crazies weren’t interested, but my online dating experience wasn’t nearly as bad! Maybe the online dating stuff is getting worse than it used to be? I’ve seen several blogs and articles about it recently and I’m not sure if it’s more common now or if women are finally sick enough of it to call the assholes out. I’d say the majority of my weird messages on OKC were foreign marriage proposals, not overt sexual harassment. More “Hello pretty lady I am stable Russia man needing good wife for love and immigrate”, less “Hey bitch, nice tits.” I had my settings pretty tight so guys could only message me if they met certain criteria, and that seemed to help a lot. Of course, sometimes it seemed like the filters let some idiots through anyway. Like **Queen Tonya** said, the half dozen “hi there” messages in my inbox every day were deleted and ignored like all the CHEAP MEDZZ spam in my regular email. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/38 "2012-12-31T16:50:06Z")
I had decent luck on OkCupid as a female. I think the secret was that I sought out the guys I liked and wrote them rather than waiting for them to find me. I did get a lot of weird messages unsolicited but those were easy to ignore. I met a lot of good, sane guys by initiating the contact. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/39 "2012-12-31T17:04:10Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > I am endlessly fascinated by these online dating threads. I don’t get dating in general; it’s like a foreign language to me. I don’t think the vast majority of the people currently in the world get it, either. Keep in mind that the notion that you would marry for love (with “compatibility” as the top watchword), and not for money or for the sake of forging familial connections or for some other purely practical concern, would be utterly incomprehensible to almost all of your ancestors. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/40 "2012-12-31T17:23:01Z")
**Diosa** , remember that one blog that had pictures of those hypocritical douchebags along with their quotes? Well, why no pictures of your Prince Charmings? Surely they have pictures that are mostly appropriate. I hope. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600.md?page=3)