# Online dating is literally the worst **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 30, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600 "2012-12-30T21:23:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/41 "2012-12-31T17:29:33Z")
I don’t date these days, what with having been respectably married for a mighty long time, but I understand it’s fraught with pitfalls. A friend of mine fixed up a date with someone called “anal\_babe86” and all she did was complain his tie was on crooked and he held his fork funny. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/42 "2012-12-31T17:35:47Z")
Not gonna tell y’all again: online dating sucks. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/43 "2012-12-31T18:47:36Z")
It sucks in the same way that regular dating sucks. Even as a man, I got some crazy messages. When I have profiles up, I probably get one contact a week or so and most of them are normal enough women. Granted sometimes those contacts are one of those lame winks or an email that just says, “hi.” I generally ignore those. I’d say that I get replies to half of my emails but I am very selective. I might send one out every two weeks on average. From on-line dating I have had a bunch of flings and short relationships, one long relationship and made a few friends. I definitely get annoyed and discouraged sometimes but all in all it’s been a positive experience for me. I’ll probably get back in the saddle again in a few weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/44 "2012-12-31T19:05:15Z")
You don’t need to, **MOL,** that was a fun thread, as most of yours are. (TL/DR warning) what I hate about OD isn’t that it gives a forum to the penis pic pervs, men isolated from women like the guy who flung his ejaculate on Clarice in **Silence of the Lambs**. Those guys flourish in _every_ environment. What I don’t like is the reduction to algorithm. Most of us have jobs with someone above us imposing control by means of narrow statistics. We have to make those monthly numbers, or at least game the system to make it look like we do. But by and large we have to perform according to abstractions; and the system that scales it is resistant to adjustment to reality. If that stresses us out, we can subject ourselves to therapy. But, since there’s just to many of us, this process too is streamlined for the masses. Instead of discussing our troubles, we are given some form of Meyers-Briggs questionnaire, and are assigned a four-letter category. Six-plus billion human beings; sixteen types of human being allowed for, and mainly for the purpose of prescribing some pharmaceutical. Well, against this cruel uncaring world there’s always love. Our fortress and refuge, and our purpose for enduring it all every day. But by what means do we achieve this union? Why, a dating website, full of fun questionnaires and a sure-fire algorithm, of course! ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/45 "2012-12-31T19:27:30Z")
Wait, you’re using the same Internet where Chris Hansen goes looking for pedophiles!? I don’t have any experience with online dating. But it seems to me that the wierd habits and behaviors people have that make them undatable IRL must get magnified a thousand-fold online. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/46 "2012-12-31T19:31:33Z")
Main thing that sucked about it to me was that I’m shy, and meeting new people for the very first time as a date is scary. If you met in person then you already met at least once in a low-pressure situation and know you have some type of IRL chemistry (unless it was a blind date, which I would never do). I think I’d think it was great if I wasn’t such a scardy cat. Even if 80% of the respondents are of the dick-pic-sending variety, that still leaves a lot of potentially decent guys. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/47 "2012-12-31T20:01:02Z")
What bugs me is how crappy the online process seems to be. Went it first started happening I figured the online method would be soooo much better. I thought certain aspects of meeting/dating would be vastly improved over the old ways. Doesn’t appear to have panned out though. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/48 "2012-12-31T20:06:19Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > Even weirder if they wanted a foursome, with the cat. Although, that would make an interesting story. Wouldn’t it have counted as a five-some if everybody was getting it on at the same time? ETA: high-five **Haze**. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/49 "2012-12-31T20:08:32Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I don’t think the vast majority of the people currently in the world get it, either. Keep in mind that the notion that you would marry for love (with “compatibility” as the top watchword), and not for money or for the sake of forging familial connections or for some other purely practical concern, would be utterly incomprehensible to almost all of your ancestors. Good point. I find the old-school pairing up process to be at least as strange, though. I think I don’t ‘get it’ because I don’t feel any compelling need to be paired up, and it feels like some ritualistic mating dance of show. All relationships I’ve had have sort of evolved naturally, without seeking that specifically. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/50 "2012-12-31T20:25:07Z")
I’m a guy and I don’t understand even slightly the whole dick picture thing. Now I admit I’m a little slow socially speaking, but even I grasp that this is full on retarded, regardless of whether you’re looking for a real relationship or you mistakenly think it’s just a hookup site. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/51 "2012-12-31T20:28:19Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I’m a guy and I don’t understand even slightly the whole dick picture thing. Now I admit I’m a little slow socially speaking, but even I grasp that this is full on retarded, regardless of whether you’re looking for a real relationship or you mistakenly think it’s just a hookup site. I have thought about this and I think that these guys have no illusions that they are going to get women that way. They just get off on sending people pics of their dork. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/52 "2012-12-31T20:32:20Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Wouldn’t it have counted as a five-some if everybody was getting it on at the same time? > > ETA: high-five **Haze**. Wait, two cats?! You people are just sick! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/53 "2012-12-31T20:32:29Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I used to work in a convenience store in Las Vegas. And I wore a wedding ring. I could count on receiving at least half a dozen propositions every shift, along with occasional Gratuitous Penis. Now, I probably didn’t get as many penis encounters as you get, but on the other hand, mine were live and in person. > > I have to wonder at the thinking behind some of these approaches, though. “HI” three times, and then saying “Let’s fuck”. Does that ever work? Are women supposed to fall into a swoon at the sight of a penis? Or get on their knees and start sucking immediately? > > Or are men so overcome by Italian feistiness that they just lose all capacity for rational though? Where did you hide all the bodies ?? :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/54 "2012-12-31T20:36:11Z")
Well, I just figured out where all those convience store hotdogs come from 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/55 "2012-12-31T20:49:30Z")
I, too, must have something in my profile that deters the weirdos. I’ve been on okcupid for about a month now and haven’t gotten anything stranger than one guy who called me “cutie” about six times in his (very) long message to me explain why he thought we were such a great match (NOT!). I’ve received only one “you beautiful, I want marry you” message. Not to say that a couple of the men I’ve emailed with haven’t ultimately turned out to be weird, just that no one seems to want to send me photos of their manly equipment (thank Og!). ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/56 "2012-12-31T21:18:44Z")
But he’s 11 and he loves life and he’s ready to mingle. Why wouldn’t you want to hit that? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/57 "2012-12-31T21:52:57Z")
I’m a fat chick myself, not hating at all here. However, I think a lot of the disparity in female experiences with online dating can be explained as such: fat/ugly chicks are more prone to being trolled. Guys who troll put their best foot forward with girls they want to sleep with. They only troll girls they wouldn’t want to sleep with anyway. There’re also some \*extremely \*desperate/horny guys who just want to get laid, regardless of what the girl looks like. Perhaps they reason that sending dick pics to fat/ugly chicks is the quickest way to find a loose chick with low standards, which allows them to line up a same-day bonk. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/58 "2012-12-31T21:57:06Z")
Well, not just that but I imagine if you flood the internet with a gazillion dick pics, every once in awhile you find someone whose game. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/59 "2012-12-31T22:02:32Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Where did you hide all the bodies ?? > > :eek: > > 😃 Fitted for concrete overshoes, then a quick trip to the Hoover dam. Very convenient. Also traditional. > [@billfish678](#): > > Well, I just figured out where all those convience store hotdogs come from 🙂 We didn’t sell hot dogs. And, believe me, if we had, I’d never have eaten one. We had a pretty extensive deli, though, and we went through a lot of bologna and other cold cuts. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600/60 "2012-12-31T22:20:18Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > I am endlessly fascinated by these online dating threads. I’m glad someone else is as fascinated by these as I am. I’ve never tried online dating but I’ve read enough craziness that I’ve been tempted to set up a few profiles just to see the weirdness firsthand. I don’t though, because that seems really unfair to people who are out there giving a real go of trying to find someone. Instead I watch these threads and wait for the strange stories to roll in. That’s not to say that traditional dating doesn’t offer the lulz sometimes because my friends and I have shared some seriously funny stories over the years but something about the online thing keeps me reading these threads. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-is-literally-the-worst/645600.md?page=4)