# Online dating. \*sigh\* Another way to screw with my own head. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2018, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698 "2018-02-27T20:45:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/21 "2018-03-04T22:47:57Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > I don’t believe this for a second. You’re essentially saying that all men are either rude whiny monsters or rude aggressive monsters. But even if it were true, ghosting wouldn’t prevent it. A jerk who responds rudely or aggressively to polite rejection will also respond rudely or aggressively to being ignored. There’s something amusing about threads that are essentially man: “Why do women do this online?” women: “Here’s why”. man: “I don’t believe you, that obvously would never happen.” women: _rolleyes_ man: “Why won’t anyone explain this mystery to me?” ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/22 "2018-03-05T03:05:27Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > There’s something amusing about threads that are essentially > > man: “Why do women do this online?” > women: “Here’s why”. > man: “I don’t believe you, that obvously would never happen.” > women: _rolleyes_ > man: “Why won’t anyone explain this mystery to me?” I don’t believe that 100% of men would respond in one of those two ways. Like all trolls, they get attention disproportionate to their actual numbers. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/23 "2018-03-05T03:28:40Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > Welll, men always listen when women share their experiences, so I feel 100% confident that you’ll accept my response that indeed, it absolutely happens just as **Whiskey Dickens** describes. I didn’t say I don’t believe it ever happens. The post I was responding to specifically said that half of men will whine and the other half will get belligerent. I also pointed out that a person who would do one of those two things could just as easily do it in response to being ghosted as to a firm and/or polite rejection. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/24 "2018-03-05T03:46:14Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > I didn’t say I don’t believe it ever happens. The post I was responding to specifically said that half of men will whine and the other half will get belligerent. I’m wondering–and bear with me here a moment–I’m wondering if it’s possible, and you’ll need to wrap your brain around this, because it’s a pretty crazy idea, and almost certainly wrong, but I think we should consider it anyway, because this is a strange world we live in and full of miracles and anomalous phenomena–I’m wondering if **WHISKEY DICKENS** WASN’T BEING STRICTLY MATHEMATICALLY CORRECT. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/25 "2018-03-05T14:34:57Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I’m wondering–and bear with me here a moment–I’m wondering if it’s possible, and you’ll need to wrap your brain around this, because it’s a pretty crazy idea, and almost certainly wrong, but I think we should consider it anyway, because this is a strange world we live in and full of miracles and anomalous phenomena–I’m wondering if **WHISKEY DICKENS** WASN’T BEING STRICTLY MATHEMATICALLY CORRECT. That still ignores the more important second half (which was snipped). That is, a person who would do one of those things would still do it in response to being ignored. And also, this ghosting behavior isn’t exclusive to women, so the question shouldn’t be “Why do women do this?” It should be “Why do some people do this?” ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/26 "2018-03-05T14:54:10Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > I don’t believe this for a second. You’re essentially saying that all men are either rude whiny monsters or rude aggressive monsters. But even if it were true, ghosting wouldn’t prevent it. A jerk who responds rudely or aggressively to polite rejection will also respond rudely or aggressively to being ignored. That’s fair. 100% of men aren’t whiny or aggressive, I regretted making my percentages add up to 100% after I was past the edit window. Instead of 100% of men, I should say “enough men” reply this way so as to make it not worth a woman’s response. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/27 "2018-03-05T15:11:46Z")
Well, an online stranger doesn’t owe you anything - not even an explanation for why they’re not interested anymore. One reason given above was that, if a woman did explain about not wanting to continue seeing someone, men will often respond by arguing with her statements. Anyone else notice that at least one man here ARGUED WITH THAT STATEMENT itself? The scenario involves not communicating anymore, so I’m not sure how _explicit communication_ would fit in. I mean, am I supposed to call you, to say I’m not gonna call anymore? Email letting you know I won’t be emailing? ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/28 "2018-03-05T15:33:11Z")
> [@](#): > > One reason given above was that, if a woman did explain about not wanting to continue seeing someone, men will often respond by arguing with her statements. Anyone else notice that at least one man here ARGUED WITH THAT STATEMENT itself? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/29 "2018-03-05T20:28:49Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > 😛 I didn’t notice that! Neither did you! You’re arguing with the hypothetical! Nuh uh! Also, I bet a woman argued with it too, why aren’t you mentioning that? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/30 "2018-03-05T22:42:35Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Well, an online stranger doesn’t owe you anything - not even an explanation for why they’re not interested anymore. In retrospect I ghosted someone once. I want to feel guilty about it because I actually do make some effort not being a dick. But as good as things were going, she had been a strictly virtual acquaintance of mine for all of two weeks. It was nice to meet someone not insane (see post #3), but really that was about the depth of the relationship. Might have worked out, might not have. When I totally-by-accident met Ms. Right Realgirl, I immediately shut down the dating account, and chose not to return A voicemail from Virtualgirl. Why? Formally ending things that arguably hadn’t even started seemed like a needless contact and a potential friction point in the new relationship. Sure, Realgirl would probably totally accept my explanation of, “Oh, just pulling the plug on a nonstarter.” Probably. So why risk it? Better to put my efforts into developing things with Realgirl. Besides, Virtualgirl already told me she didn’t want kids, and I had 3 so…Saved her the effort of ending things with me down the road. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698/31 "2018-03-05T23:42:44Z")
I recently started online dating myself, and was going to start a thread asking the same question. But I didn’t because I came to the conclusion that “She’s just not that into me dude.”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/online-dating-sigh-another-way-to-screw-with-my-own-head/809698.md?page=1)